


Sol Invictus

by shittyfoureyes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin is a saint, Baking, Best Friends, Bromance, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, Childhood Memories, Consensual Sex, Consent, Dick Jokes, Edging, Enthusiastic Consent, Epic Friendship, Eren Is a Little Shit, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Consent, Family, First Christmas, Hair-pulling, Happy Ending, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Skating, Levi/Eren Yeager-centric, Loss of Parent(s), Love, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Praise Kink, Prostate Massage, Prostate Milking, Rimming, Romance, Sentimental, Snow, True Love, Yaoi on Ice, as canon compliant as i could manage, eren is so embarrassing, hanji's a little weird but also a saint, it's not that sad i promise, seriously armin is a saint, you know how I do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 15:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 65,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21915100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shittyfoureyes/pseuds/shittyfoureyes
Summary: Even the darkest night cannot conquer the sun.
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 70
Kudos: 130





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heichous_Poncho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heichous_Poncho/gifts).
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my Secret Santa gift for [heichous_poncho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heichous_Poncho/), an author who is near and dear to me and who has offered me so much support and given me so much confidence that I was over the moon when I found out I was going to be writing this for them. I appreciate you, and I hope you enjoy my gift. I've had so much fun writing it, I'm really happy I was chosen as your Secret Levi :)

  
  


This time, Levi sensed it the moment it started. As the weather changes, so does Eren. The heat departs with the leaves on the winds of autumn; the light fades too soon. And then, when the snows come, the sun finally surrenders to the encroaching darkness, and so does Eren.

This time of year always brings along with it a certain somberness, not only for Eren but for everyone. Perhaps it’s a result of the harsh winter cold, or perhaps it’s the lack of sunlight. Levi wouldn’t doubt it if that was the cause of it- after all, he knows firsthand what being cold and trapped in unending darkness can do to a person. 

Or, perhaps there’s more to it than simply shitty weather and long, cold nights. The day dims, the sun hides its face; the grass dies, the leaves wither and fall; the warm earth grows cold and silent. It is both as natural and inevitable as winter itself: death. Another year passes away and they’re no closer to the end of the war than the year before. 

Levi believes that to be the case for most people, but not Eren. He knows the boy well enough to know this, yet the true source of Eren’s winter melancholy remains a mystery to him. 

He noticed the change in Eren during their first winter together. Though they were not yet romantically attached at that time, their relationship had already become undeniably intimate, if only in the emotional sense of the word. Levi had gotten to know Eren. Nothing so mundane as weather could bring him down like that.

He’d gotten to know Eren well enough to notice when his perpetually indomitable spirit wavered, or to see the way those big, beautiful green eyes of his sometimes lacked their usual sparkle, or when his dumb, toothy grins, always sunny and genuine and a goddamn treasure to behold, were replaced by forced grimaces that reached no farther than his lips. He noticed a lot of little things that no one else seemed to, or if they did, didn’t care about them. He can’t blame anyone for not complaining that Eren’s obnoxiously loud mouth was just a little less loud and obnoxious. 

Individually, none of these things would be a cause for concern, and therein lay the problem. 

It may have started as a single odd behavior or a cynical comment here or there, but it didn’t stay that way. As the month wore on, these little innocuous details began to pile up one by one on top of each other like the snowflakes on the roof. And then one day, the snowflakes collapsed under their own weight. Things came to a head.

The forewarning rumble of the oncoming avalanche came in the form of an actual rumble.

Levi came running when he heard the sound. What he saw was a writhing tangle of limbs and hair and fists and teeth and a whole lot of dumbfounded cadets who were either too terrified to do anything to stop the fight or too entertained by it to want to.

It wasn’t abnormal for Eren to take his aggression out on Jean, as Levi came to learn pretty much immediately following the 104th’s arrival at headquarters. What _was _abnormal was for the bickering to escalate into a brawl or just short of one on a daily basis. The brawl he witnessed that day was nothing like the usual testosterone-crazed way teenage boys fight over stupid shit like girls or the top bunk or the size of their dicks.

Eren didn’t look like he even knew who he was fighting. He was in a blind rage, shouting and growling something about someone’s mother, either his or Jean’s, he couldn’t quite tell. And Jean-Jean wasn’t taunting him. His cockiness was nowhere to be seen. He looked relieved when Levi walked in and broke up the fight. He looked like he was actually fighting.

Levi never did find out what caused that fight. He’d asked Eren about it, obviously- though more out of concern for Eren than any intention to hand out discipline, which he would not admit to if asked-but all Eren had said in return was,

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

And he never did.

Not even when the same thing happened again a year later.

By then, Levi was ready for it. He’d been strategizing. He was prepared to do whatever it took to make Eren happy, or at the very least, keep him distracted enough to prevent another fight like the last one. In the end, nothing he did kept Eren from moping around the castle or arguing with Jean. Eren still wouldn’t open up to him about what was bothering him, and he didn’t pry- even after growing big enough balls to say I love you, all this emotional shit is still way too fucking awkward for Levi- but that’s okay. 

That winter, Eren smiled more.

Now another year is coming to an end, and as the first sparkling flurries gather in the corners of the windows, Levi frowns because Eren is sighing at his breakfast.

  
  


\---

  
  


It’s snowing.

It’s beautiful. It always is, especially on the rare occasions when the clouds break and the sunlight catches the snowflakes. It’s magical, breathtaking, like millions of tiny diamonds swirling through the air, and the newly-fallen, untouched snow blankets the world in sheets of dazzling white so bright it blinds you to look at it.

He has to look away.

Even though he’s sitting beside the fireplace with a hot bowl of oatmeal and a steaming mug of tea, he feels frost crawling over his bones, freezing him from the inside out. 

It’s already that time of year again. How many years has it been since he was able to look forward to it? 

Survey Corps headquarters begins to bustle with activity, and the younger cadets seem to forget about who they are and why they’re here, buzzing with childlike excitement over the arrival of the late winter holiday. People have already started putting up decorations all around the castle, and Eren wishes he could enjoy it. Truly, he does. Everything looks so pretty and festive, and even the act of decorating in and of itself seems to fill everyone with cheer. He always loved it as a child.

Instead, the spectacle fills him with bitterness and envy.

He tries to hide it. They haven’t done anything wrong. The other soldiers deserve more than anyone to have this rare time of joy and high spirits. He remembers what it’s like.

Every wreath of pine and berries, every glass bauble and flickering candle, each of them is another memory of days gone by. The songs echoing in the halls, the snowball fights that take the place of training, the smell of spiced apples, he remembers all of them. 

But the worst of them all is right here staring him in the face. It knocked the wind out of him when he saw it, just like it did during his first year in the corps.

He can see his rosy-cheeked mother smiling warmly at him, can hear her cooing her delight as he hands her a small clay pot that he’d tied with ribbon the same color as the wide, pointed red petals of the flowers inside it.

He can’t bear to look at it.

It’s all so beautiful, and he can’t stand it. It twists his stomach into knots, and his heart aches with longing. He’s surrounded by reminders of what he’s lost, and soon the ache turns into something more pleasant: anger. Rage. He burns with it, and it gives him comfort. _ You took my family away from me. I’ll kill every last one of you. _

Suddenly, Eren jolts upright in his seat; a smarting pain radiating up his shinbone shocks him back to attention. He turns his vacant, ruminating stare away from his oatmeal, pointedly ignoring the poinsettias, and he’s met with a pair of sharp, storm-grey eyes glaring at him from across the table.

He sighs at the image of his handsome, scowling Captain, and some of the ache in his heart melts away, even though it has been replaced with a pain in his shin. Eren doesn’t have to fake the smile that instantly appears on his lips. 

He’d been so busy brooding that he’d forgotten where he was. He’d forgotten about all of the good things he still has, including the one staring him right in the face. He’s eating breakfast with the man who loves him. Sure, he has a funny way of showing it sometimes, but that’s just who Levi is, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Levi silently raises an eyebrow at him, and he can almost forget about his broken heart entirely when he sees the tiniest upturn of Levi’s lips just before they’re hidden behind a teacup.

Maybe things aren’t so bad, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my hero [cutiepiejane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutiepiejane) for putting up with my freakouts and run-on sentences and wading through pages of sap and dick jokes. You are massively appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s dead, Eren,” Armin says solemnly. “Poor thing.” 

Eren turns his head in confusion, his grip on the knife falling loose. When did Armin get here? He stares at Armin for a few seconds, and when Armin’s eyes flit down to something in front of him, Eren’s eyes follow. He blinks a few times, assessing the sorry scene he’s created. His shoulders are shaking now.

A bark of laughter fills the room, and then another, and then they’re both laughing together until tears are streaming down their faces and their stomachs are aching.

The cutting board, no, the entire _table _is littered with stringy guts and chunks of orange flesh, and so is Eren. A pumpkin about the size of Eren’s head is missing its top and most of its innards, and the murder weapon is sticking straight up out of its overturned side.

“I’ll make sure it gets a proper burial,” Armin assures him, pushing the cutting board aside and out of Eren’s reach. He’s already done enough damage. Eren makes a sudden movement, raising both of his hands to his chest, and Armin’s eyes go wide with fear. His lightning-quick reflexes stop Eren just in time. “EREN! Towel!”

“Oh,” Eren says sheepishly, thankful as always for Armin being there to keep him from doing something dumb. “Right. Thanks.” Eren accepts the kitchen towel that his guardian angel hands to him, wiping his sticky, itching, pumpkin-coated hands on it instead of on the front of his shirt. “Sasha putting you to work, too?”

“Is that what this is?” Armin asks, astonished, tilting his head and tapping his chin. “You’re _cooking?_” Maybe he imagined hearing Eren growling something about titans or how the top of the pumpkin kinda looks a little like Jean’s head.

“Sasha wanted me to cut the tops off of these,” Eren nods over his shoulder to the dozen or so pumpkins silently awaiting their fate, “and hollow them out. She had this idea to use them as bowls for the soup she’s making.” Eren shrugs and turns around, eyeing up the row of pumpkins, deciding who his next victim will be. 

“You know what? I think Mikasa would be great at this,” Armin says, a subtle suggestion that Eren should quit while he’s ahead. There’s no way Eren’s butchered pumpkin could pass for a bowl at this point, but at least the flesh is salvageable. He’s sure Sasha’s soup will be great, everything she makes is amazing, but there’s a distinct possibility that something even better than soup might end up on the dinner table tonight. “I hope she makes pie.”

“Oh my god. You think she will?” Eren’s already salivating at the thought. 

“She might have to if you mutilate the rest of her pumpkins like that,” Armin chides, and he’s only half-joking. 

“Come on, it doesn’t look that bad!” Eren casts a glance back over to the cutting board on the table. He frowns. Okay, maybe it does. 

“Yeah…” Armin trails off, worried that he may have inadvertently renewed Eren’s determination instead of persuading him to let someone less inept handle it. Once you get Eren riled up, there’s no stopping him, and while that may increase his chances of pie, he’s sure Sasha will not be pleased about Eren ruining her rather charming soup plans. Besides, he doesn’t think Mikasa will be too mad about spending some quality time with Sasha. “Anyway… A few of us are going into town in a bit. Do you want to come with us?”

It’s painfully festive inside Survey Corps headquarters, but that’s nothing compared to how festive the town is this time of year. Eren isn’t sure if his heart can handle it. “Maybe next time,” he mumbles, averting his eyes, hoping Armin hasn’t noticed the change in his expression. 

“Are you sure you don’t wanna get out of the castle for a while?” Eren really does need to get out of the castle. Eren’s been spending too much time by himself. It’s not good for him. Armin knows it’ll start an argument if he tells Eren such, and Eren’s way too wound up as it is. There’s a gentler and far more effective means of persuading him to stop moping around his room than trying to reason with him. “Plus, I thought you might want to pick up a gift for Captain Levi while you’re there.”

All Armin had to do was say his name, and Eren’s eyes lit up. Works every time. 

  
\---

“Any luck?” 

Armin bounces on his heels to keep warm, waiting for Eren to raise his hood as he exits the shop. Eren shakes his head, shoving his hands deep into his coat pockets. Eren keeps his eyes on the ground during the brisk walk to meet up with the rest of the group at the tavern a few blocks over.

It’s barely past four o’clock in the afternoon, and already it’s dark outside. The windows of the shops cast their warm glow out into the busy streets. Most are decorated with garlands of pine boughs and berries and popcorn, and candles lining the windowsills create golden halos of light behind the frost-glazed panes of glass. Small bells jingle on the bridles of passing horses, and the people congregating around the various stalls are all laughing and drinking and erupting into drunken song now and again. Everyone is happy, just like they were before the wall fell.

“I’m sure you’ll find something.” 

“I don’t know, Armin,” Eren says, sighing, unaware that he’s been doing that nonstop ever since the first snow of the year. “I can’t just get him another broom. It has to be something special.”

“This is Captain Levi we’re talking about. Brooms _ are _ special.” Armin recalls the beginning of Eren and Levi’s relationship and all of Levi’s awkward yet heartfelt attempts at courting Eren. He’ll never forget the look on Eren’s face when he walked into the common room and saw Eren sitting at the table, staring at the broom in his hands. There was a _ bow _on it. Eren was so adorably confused, the blush on his cheeks clashing so hilariously with the scrunched up brows and slackened jaw. Armin understood the sincerity of the gesture, even if Eren didn’t.

Again Eren sighs, his shoulders slumping. He chews his lip and peers over at Armin walking beside him but seems to change his mind and quickly looks away again.

“What’s wrong?” Armin asks, and it looked as though Eren wanted to say something but decided against it for some reason. It piqued his curiosity as much as it worried him. “You can always talk to me. You know that.” And he usually does, so why not now?

“I know, it’s just…” Eren takes a deep breath to steady himself, and he releases it slowly, giving himself time to sort his thoughts. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Doesn’t what bother me?” Armin steps closer to Eren, continuing to stroll shoulder to shoulder with him, waiting for clarification. 

“All of this,” Eren says, pausing to take his hand out of his pocket and gesture widely toward a group of children and their parents crowded around a large tree in the town square. 

They both see it, and despite their better judgment, they watch the events unfold.

A man takes a shiny object from a wicker basket held by the woman beside him. He hands the trinket to a small boy who smiles and, with great care, cradles the object in his cupped palms like it’s the most wondrous and precious treasure imaginable.

Eren and Armin continue to observe in absolute silence.

The father and son turn to the towering spruce tree. The child points upward, and when the father picks up his child and sits him on his shoulder, a tiny hand reaches out and hangs the ornament from a branch by a loop of ribbon. Lifting his child high into the air above him, the pair laugh and giggle until the father pulls him to his breast and wraps him in a tight embrace.

The child looks up over his father’s shoulder, and his bright eyes meet Eren’s across the way. Eren smiles weakly and turns his head as fast as he can, swallowing the uncomfortable knot in his throat.

Armin knows exactly what Eren means.

“Sometimes,” Armin replies. It’s a little different for him, having no memories of holidays spent with his parents. Rather, he spent his winter holiday with his grandfather and with Eren’s family, who always invited them over for special events throughout the year. With or without parents, those memories feel bittersweet sometimes.

“I wish I could just get away from all of it, come back when it’s over, and not be reminded of it anymore.” Eren shoves his hands even harder into his pockets and stares at his shoes as he goes on walking. 

“They’re not happy memories for you?”

“They are. That’s the problem.” If Eren tries to dig any deeper into his coat pockets, he’ll punch a hole straight through them. Armin bumps into his shoulder, struggling to get him to look at him, but Eren’s eyes are stinging, so he can’t. Must be from the frosty air.

Armin stops and nudges him with his elbow to demand his attention, so he concedes and shifts to face him. Armin meets him with a gentle smile and then reaches for Eren’s arm and tugs. Confused as to what Armin wants from him, he withdraws his hand from his pocket and turns his palm over, showing him it’s empty. No money, no food, no gloves. _What does he think I have in here, the meaning of life? _

But then Armin takes the offered hand and weaves their fingers together, giving Eren’s hand a reassuring squeeze. So that’s what Armin was trying to do. It’s just like Armin used to do when he cried, back when they were kids in Shiganshina, protected by the wall; when the only thing he had to cry about was getting his ass kicked by bullies.

Not everything was taken from him. Sometimes he forgets just how lucky he is.

“Then why not make some new memories?” Armin suggests after a few minutes of walking in silence, holding Eren’s hand to comfort him, though back then, Eren’s tears were of indignant rage, frustration, or embarrassment, not grief.

“What do you mean?” Eren has made a few new holiday memories since joining the Corps with his two best friends, but they’re tainted by the persistent underlying sadness lurking there even during those joyous times. If that’s what Armin means by making new memories, he’s already tried it.

“You said you wanted to get away from it all, right? Go somewhere far away from the things that remind you? Then maybe you should.” Armin stops in his tracks and uses his grip on Eren’s hand to turn his body to face him. “You definitely should.”

“Wow. I never thought I’d hear you of all people tell me to run away from my problems,” Eren replies, deadpan, having no earthly clue what Armin’s getting at. He can’t actually be telling him to run off beyond the walls, right? He’s certainly not opposed to the idea.

“That was not my intention, though I suppose that would be a perk.”

“I’m so fucking confused. Have I ever told you how confusing you are?”

Armin chuckles. There’s the Eren he knows, not the stranger he turns into every winter.

“On multiple occasions. But hear me out, okay?” Armin releases Eren, and their hands return to the warmth of their own coat pockets for the rest of the walk.

“I’m listening.” 

“Everyone always takes leave around now, right? I think you should, too. Take a little time off. Go somewhere.”

“Go where, though? The horse barn? Over the wall? And what, just run off all by myself without a babysitter?” Now Eren is more irritated than confused. As if anyone would let him out of their sight.

“We can figure out the where later, but you wouldn’t be going alone.” 

“So you’re going with me?”

“No, not me,” Armin tries not to laugh at how dense Eren can be sometimes. How could he possibly forget who that is? “Levi. You know, your _ babysitter_.”

Eren’s head whips around, and he stares at Armin like he’s just told him that titans could fart rainbows or something equally shocking and unexpected. It sounds like his best friend is suggesting he take a romantic getaway with his boyfriend. Alone. He’s glad he’s wearing his thick winter trench coat because Little Eren just became very interested in this idea. 

“At least give it some thought. You could take a vacation. Go somewhere nice and quiet, make new memories with Levi. I can help you make arrangements. Sound good?”

“Armin, I could kiss you.”

“Yeah… I’m gonna have to pass on that one.”

When they arrive at the tavern where their friends are gathered, everyone is in high spirits, including Eren.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi opens the door to his room and freezes when he sees him by the window. His hand idles on the doorknob, and he remains motionless in the doorway. This happens every time. The disbelief, the fluttering in his chest, the warmth that settles over him like a blanket. He swallows about a hundred butterflies and quietly shuts the door behind him.

It’s a strange thing, this. The abrupt realization was foreign and utterly unexpected when it first came to him, so much so that he didn’t want to accept it. And he didn’t, not for a long time. It still feels weird to him, does weird things to his heart. _ Too good to be true, _ he thinks, but what he once resisted, now he never wants to let it go. 

Someone to come home to.

“Hi, Levi,” Eren greets, turning his back to the window he’d been staring out of for who knows how long, and he meets Levi with a meager smile.

Eren’s December smiles are smaller than they are the rest of the year, but at least they’re still there, and for that, Levi is thankful. 

“Hi.” Levi feels a smile forming on his lips when he sees Eren’s. 

“Come here,” Levi demands, opening his arms, which are soon wrapping around Eren’s waist. He buries his face in Eren’s chest and exhales, feeling all the stress draining out of him in the comfort and warmth of Eren’s embrace.

It’s just him and Eren in here. Now he can drop the mask. 

They linger in front of the door, breathing each other in and breathing the rest of the world out. Eren lifts his head from where it rested on top of Levi’s- this brat is too damn tall, Levi thinks- and squeezes him tighter in his arms for a second before he breaks away.

“I made tea.” 

_ Of course you did_, Levi thinks. His heart twinges. _ How did this happen to me? _

“Thank you,” Levi says humbly, overcome with gratitude and contentment and something even bigger that. Something terrifying and beautiful, just like Eren.

Eren scampers off to pour the tea, and Levi sits down on the sofa by the fireplace to remove his boots and warm his aching feet. _ He lit the fireplace, too. Fuck. This fucking kid. He’s too good to me. _

“Here,” Eren hands Levi his tea–in his favorite teacup, of course, of fucking _course_– and sits down next to him on the sofa. Eren sips his tea and watches Levi do the same, and he’s trying not to show how anxious he is while silently awaiting Levi’s approval.

_ The kid’s so obvious. He’s like a goddamn puppy. Really, at what point did he get me wrapped around his little finger? _

“This is good,” Levi praises because it is. It’s perfect. It’s always perfect. So is the way Eren grins when he tells him so. 

“I’m glad.” Eren lowers his eyes and smiles to himself, clutching his teacup close to him. “Do your feet hurt today? Is your ankle bothering you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Levi lies. He knows that if he says yes, Eren will insist on rubbing his feet for him. Eren’s already done enough for him. He always does, endlessly and selflessly and without being asked.

As Levi drinks his perfect tea, made just for him by his perfect partner, he perceives the change in Eren’s mood. Eren is silent, staring wistfully out the window again. His teacup rests on its saucer in his lap, still full and no longer steaming. It’s making Levi uncomfortable, uneasy– worried. He sees what Eren is looking at.

“It’s still snowing,” he remarks, regarding the falling snow for a few moments before shifting his attention back to his tea. He fucking hates seeing Eren like this, and he hates even more that he has no fucking clue what to do about it. Watching the one you love suffer is the worst kind of torture.

Eren sighs and remembers that he’s here with Levi in his room, not back at home in Shiganshina. He avoids looking at Levi, ashamed of letting himself daydream in front of him again. “Yeah,” Eren says in a voice that’s weak and tinged with longing, and it breaks Levi’s heart.

“Hey,” Levi whispers, setting his cup and saucer aside on the end table and turning on the sofa to face Eren. His eyes scan Eren’s face, but he’s still looking away. Levi reaches out and tenderly lifts Eren’s chin with a finger, and only then do Eren’s big, beautiful green eyes turn slowly up to him. Eren’s trying to smile, but Levi can tell it’s forced. His eyes are just so fucking sad. There’s no hiding that. So, determined to do something, anything, he’ll do _anything, _ he gazes into them with affection and strokes Eren’s cheek with the back of his hand. “What’s the matter with you?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just tired is all.” Eren can’t look Levi in the eye when he says that. He doesn’t know that the tops of his ears turn red when he lies. It’s not often that he lies to Levi, and never about anything important, but he really is tired. That part is true. Levi shouldn’t fuss over him. He already has enough stress in his life.

“No. It’s not nothing. Something is bothering you.” _ Am I prying? Should I pry? Eren… what do I do? I feel so helpless. Please talk to me. _

Eren’s shoulders slump, realizing that he’s made Levi worry. He sighs and sets his cup and saucer on the floor beside the sofa. Levi cares, he knows Levi cares, and Levi loves him. He knows he can talk to Levi. It’s just that… He loves Levi, too, wants him to be happy, doesn’t want him to worry, doesn’t want to burden him with something that will pass on its own once everything around him stops reminding him of his family.

Eren hangs his head and frowns at his knees.

“Will you talk to me?” Everything about Levi is earnest and gentle when he asks, and he doesn’t push Eren for an answer; he just sits beside him and strokes his hand and waits.

“Yeah,” Eren answers at last, sounding at once defeated and relieved. “Okay.” Levi cares about him in a way no one ever has before. He’s safe with Levi. He lets his walls fall and accepts what Levi offers. Eren knows Levi wouldn’t give it if he didn’t want to, and he doesn’t give this to anyone but him.

Levi is relieved as well. He doesn’t know what will happen next, doesn’t know what he’ll say, and he still doesn’t know what Eren needs, but he’s ready to give it. Everything. He stands up, holding Eren’s hand in his own.

“Come to bed. I want to hold you.” Levi doesn’t know what it is about what he just said that made Eren smile at him, but he did. 

When they’re settled and comfortable, nestled in close to each other under the covers, Eren decides to talk. It required a little prompting from Levi, but once he started, he held nothing back.

“Is it the snow?” 

—

And so, as promised, Levi holds him, and Eren talks. They talk long into the night, and at some point, tears fall, but Levi never lets go of him. Never stops stroking and caressing Eren’s arms or face or hair, or kissing the top of his head, or his cheek, or his hand. Not when Eren asks to make love, or afterward when Eren melts into him and falls asleep against his chest with a smile on his face. Only when Levi falls asleep does he stop. When he wakes up in the morning, Eren is still in his arms, and the smile is still on his dreaming face.

It’s an incredible thing, having someone to come home to. 

Someone to wake up with.

Eren.


	4. Chapter 4

“Any ideas of where you want to go yet?” Armin brings his mug up to his lips, sipping the spiced apple cider he’d ordered for both of them. He grimaces when it hits his tongue. Too hot still. How can Eren be drinking this already? He suspects his titan healing powers may have something to do with it. 

They’ve decided to have this conversation away from all the prying ears and eyes back at headquarters. Instead, they’re sitting at a little table in the back corner of the inn that makes the best soup in town. Allegedly. Sasha’s pumpkin soup from last night says otherwise. 

“The ocean?” Eren says with a hopeful grin. Armin rolls his eyes.

“Second choice.”

“Uhhh…” Eren needs to consult his eyebrows for advice, or at least that’s what it looks like.

Armin wraps his fingers around his mug, warming his hands, waiting for Eren to come up with a more sensible vacation spot.

“Here?”

Armin groans. “Really, Eren?”

“What?” 

“Do you want me to list all the reasons why that’s a bad idea?” Knowing Eren, he might have to. It’s a long list, and at the very top of it is that everyone’s going to notice that the captain of the Survey Corps is renting a room to spend the night with a young scout. If that wouldn’t already end up the absolute talk of the town, it will be once night falls. Even if the inn's walls are thicker than tent canvas, there’s no way everyone won’t know exactly what they’re doing in there, especially since Eren seems oblivious to how loud he is when they’re doing… that. Besides, there are very few places that are more obnoxiously festive than here, and isn’t that what Eren wanted to get away from in the first place?

Eren’s going to celebrate the holiday, but on his terms and with whoever he wants, not just whoever happens to be around at the time. _ He _gets to choose. _ He’s _in control of creating memories he wants to look back on.

“You come up with a better one, then!” Eren drops his head, grabbing handfuls of his hair in frustration. 

“Okay, we can decide where later. Let’s do the easy part first. Did you think of what gift you’re going to give him?”

“Will you kill me if I say no?” It’s not that he didn’t think about it. It’s just that nothing seemed right. It has to be something special. 

“The shops are still open. Want to go look around again?” 

Eren shakes his head. He’s starting to look despondent now. 

“We can do this. You know him better than I do. What kinds of things does he like?” Armin sips his cider cautiously, waiting for Eren to say brooms.

“He likes… Cleaning supplies?” Armin makes an exaggerated, exasperated sigh and then laughs at his answer, so Eren responds in kind, sticking his tongue out at him. “Tea. He likes tea.”

“Then get him some tea. That’s easy enough.” 

“But I always get him tea. Besides, he likes the really fancy stuff, and I already looked for some in the shops. No one has any.” Eren sighs into his cider, and the hot, sweetly-scented steam wafts up and starts to make his nose run.

“Let’s try a different approach then. What kinds of gifts does he give you? That might tell me something about him. He does give you gifts, right?” Eren opens his mouth to answer, but Armin cuts him off. “Other than brooms.”

“But he–” 

“We’ve already established that. No brooms. Did he give you a birthday present this year?” Come to think of it, he doesn’t remember Eren mentioning anything about one, so maybe he didn’t. That jerk.

“Uh. Yeah,” Eren clears his throat and stares intently into his mug with a quick upturn of his lips. “He did.”

“Well, what was it?” Armin watches Eren carefully. The tops of his ears turned red, and now he won’t look him in the eye. That’s odd. Is he lying about getting a birthday present from Levi?

“He, uh,” Eren can feel his cheeks getting warm. It was a very good gift, but he’s already given that same one to Levi many times, so Armin’s idea isn’t going to be much help. “You don’t want to know.”

“Come on. It couldn’t have been worse than another broom.” He saw Eren’s tiny hint of a smile become a full-on grin for a second. Now he’s really curious. “Feather duster?” Eren shakes his head. “Mop?” Eren shakes his head again. “Okay, you gotta tell me. I’m dying to know now. It had to be something either really good or really bad for you to be making a face like that.”

_Fine, if he really wants to know so badly…_

“His ass.” 

“Oh my goooood,” Armin groans, hiding his eyes behind the hand he’s using to squeeze his brows together.

“Hey, you’re the one who asked. Are you satisfied now?” Eren looks proud, gloating even, and not at all ashamed.

“Yes. More than.”

“Good, so was I.” Eren can’t resist laughing at his own smartassery. That comes back to bite him in the (smart) ass because his laugh was more of a mighty snort into his mug and the force of his exhale splashed cider into his face. Now _ Armin’s _laughing at _him._

“Alright, alright, I deserved that. Lesson learned.” The two of them have a good laugh about it, but now they’re getting sidetracked. They came here for a reason, and they better take full advantage of this relative privacy while they still can. 

Armin’s always known Captain Levi to be picky at best and downright impossible to please at worst. Maybe he’s approaching this from the wrong angle. Instead, he decides to focus less on what Levi might want, because who the fuck knows, and more on what Eren wants. This is about Eren making new holiday memories after all.

But first, they’re going to need a little help from their good friend alcohol. 

“Do you want another cider?” Armin asks innocently. “I’m going to go get another for myself.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eren says as he looks up from his mug, which only holds the last remaining dregs of now-cold cider. “That sounds good. Here, let me get you some money.” Eren reaches into his pocket to dig around for some coins.

“It’s on me,” Armin says, and he knows Eren’s about to argue, so he leaves before Eren gets the chance.

Eren’s looking at him funny when he returns with the drinks. He sets one mug in front of Eren before he sits back down at the table. By the time he’s done scooting his chair in, Eren’s smirking.

“So,” Eren begins, drawing out the word in a suspiciously cocky manner, “you took me out to a cozy little inn, picked a table all the way in the back so you could get me alone, and now you’re buying me drinks. I knew it. This _ is _ a date.”

Armin makes a guttural sound that conveys his perpetual exasperation with Eren’s tomfoolery, but he’s not actually mad. The shit-eating grin on Eren’s face is much better than a frown.

“Yes, Eren, it’s a date. But,” he takes a sip of his adulterated cider, because Maria knows he needs it right now, and calmly sets it down before continuing. “You agreed to it. So which one of us is Levi going to castrate when he finds out about it?” Armin quirks a challenging brow at Eren. It’s his turn to be the smug smartass now.

Eren looks Armin straight in the eye, the smirk only leaving his face when he goes for a sip of his spiced cider, which he spits right back into the mug.

“I think there’s something wrong with mine.” Eren squints suspiciously into his mug, swirling its contents. “It tastes weird, and it kinda burns.”

“Yeah, 'cause there’s brandy in it.”

“I think it’s going to be you,” Eren says vaguely.

“What’s going to be me?”

“You’re going to be the one Levi castrates when he finds out you took me on a date and tried to get me drunk.” 

“Hm. At least riding a horse will be more comfortable then.” Armin maintains his thoughtful, serious demeanor for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Eren laughs with him. It’s so good to see him laugh.

But seriously, they need to be back before dinner. Armin ordered Eren’s drink with extra brandy, so hopefully, it’ll relax him enough to get him talking, and soon. They have to start making plans.

“I have another idea,” Armin says, fingers crossed that this will be the one that works.

“I’m listening.” Eren takes a large draught of cider. He flinches slightly at the taste but eventually swallows it down. Armin is pleased to see him take a few more large gulps of the hot, tongue-loosening beverage.

“Maybe instead of a material gift, how about an activity? Something fun you can do together?” Before Eren can say it or even _think _about saying it, because he will, Armin clarifies. “Besides _that. _”

Eren rolls his eyes. 

“What are your favorite memories from when we were kids? Which things do you miss the most about celebrating with your family?” Armin holds his breath and bites the inside of his lip. He feels a bit guilty for taking Eren down that path again, but the sooner they get this over with, the sooner Eren will hopefully be able to stop dwelling so much on the past. 

Eren lowers his eyes, his expression gradually falling flat. He’s thinking. He finds that for whatever reason, revisiting the happy memories of his childhood isn’t as unpleasant right now as it usually is.

“I miss helping mom bake.”

“I remember you baking together. You’d get flour everywhere, and you’d try eating dough when your mom wasn’t looking.” That’s a fond memory for Armin as well. “What else?”

“Hmm.” Eren furrows his brow, consulting his reflection in his cider for answers this time. “I remember sitting by the fireplace and roasting chestnuts while listening to all those weird stories they told every year.”

“We’d always burn our fingers trying to eat them before they were cooled.”

“We still do.” Both of them laugh again, though it's quieter and more wistful than before. “Hey, remember the popcorn?” Eren’s eyes begin to sparkle, but Armin’s darken.

“I’d hoped you’d forgotten about that.” 

“You got so fucking scared when it started popping; I swore you were gonna pee your pants.”

“Come on! I’d never seen it before! It was scary!” Armin slams his fists on the table, trying valiantly to defend himself. Did he really have to remind him? He crosses his arms over his chest and turns his head, pouting.

“And then you jumped up and hid behi–”

“I remember. I was _ there_.” Now that Armin is older, the memory is pretty funny, but he was totally embarrassed when it happened, and Eren teased him mercilessly about it all night. “Okay, what else? Anything that doesn’t involve making fun of me?”

“Sure. The time you made fun of _me._”

“When was that? I don’t remember doing that.” Armin didn’t tease Eren much when they were kids; it was always the other way around. But now, as adults? He’s proud to say that the tables have turned. He can dish it out as well as he can take it.

“Me and Mikasa were arguing about something, probably something dumb like me wanting to join the Survey Corps,” Eren pauses to swallow nothing, experiencing a strange mixture of feelings that makes him shake his head. “And you walked in carrying the basket of apples my mom asked you to bring. Mikasa was so pissed at me that she grabbed one of the apples and threw it at my head–”

“And then you fell backwards and knocked the tree over.” _ How could I have forgotten that? _

“And _ you _ dropped the apples.” Eren helpfully reminds him. “Mikasa started crying and rushed over to rescue me, but she stepped on an apple and slipped and fell on top of me.” Eren chuckles, unaware that he’s forgotten a detail that Armin hasn’t.

“And then you started crying.” 

“I did not!” Eren slams his mug down, and cider sloshes over the side and onto the table.

“You so did.” Armin sips his spiked cider, and it brings to mind the scent of the crushed and bruised apples from that day.

“Well, so did you!” _ Okay, yeah, maybe I cried a little—Damn Armin for remembering that. _

“Of course I was crying. I thought you _died! _ And I ruined the apples!”

“She still made the pie, though.” Eren’s heart twinges. What he wouldn’t give to taste that pie again. 

“Your mom was a really good cook. I’m glad she invited me over for dinner so often, so I didn’t have to eat Grandpa’s gross fish-head stew for the millionth time.” Armin shudders. He misses his grandpa every day, just not his cooking.

“God, your house always smelled so bad.” The first time Eren had dinner at Armin’s was also the last. 

“Why do you think I was always over at yours?”

“I thought it was because I was your best friend in the whole world. All this time, you had ulterior motives? I’m hurt.” Eren fakes a sniffle.

“Dork.”

“Nerd.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. But let’s get back on topic. Is this giving you any ideas? Let’s see what we have so far.” Armin counts off the list of activities on his fingers. “We’ve got baking, chestnuts, _ popcorn, _” Armin emphasizes the word popcorn in a grimly threatening manner accompanied by an equally threatening glare. “Getting crushed by trees, aaaaand... crying.”

“I don’t know how to bake, but I can do the other things.” 

“Does Levi?” Armin’s never seen Levi cook before. Most he’s seen him make is tea. Maybe he doesn’t.

“He can make eggs a bunch of different ways, does that count?” _ Oh, I forgot, he can make oatmeal too, but… not well. _

“No.” Armin sighs. This is harder than he thought it would be. There must be something Eren thinks Levi will like, a gift, an activity, anything so long as it doesn’t end in disaster or tears. Unless the disaster results in pie, which is always a possibility. “Can you think of anything else?”

Eren tips back in his chair and stares open-mouthed at the ceiling. No answers there, either. He lets the chair fall back onto four legs, and he hears the bells over the inn’s door jingle. Looking toward the source of the noise, he sees a man enter – not Levi, so he doesn’t care– but something behind the man catches his eye just before the door closes.

“Snow.”

“Snow?” How the hell can Eren miss snow when they’re practically buried in it every year? _We still have snow. So much snow. _

“Playing in the snow,” Eren smiles softly, and his gaze is vacant yet dreamy. “Laying in the snow and watching it fall. All the snowball fights we used to have.”

“Mikasa still wins every time.” Armin is happy that Eren’s happy, but snowball fights, well… those he can do without.

All of a sudden, Eren bolts upright in his chair, which at some point he’d tipped back onto two legs again, startling Armin. 

“That thing we used to do! On the ice!” Eren’s eyes sparkle, and his voice returns to its normal volume, full of excitement.

“Fall on our asses?” 

Armin remembers how the three of them used to go out onto the frozen lake near Eren’s house and try to glide around the ice like all the bigger kids. All they really did was fall down a whole lot and get scolded by Mrs. Jaeger, _ because what if you broke your neck, someone could lose an eye, _ and so on. 

Never stopped them. Not even a severe ear-pulling from his mother could keep Eren off the ice. Naturally, Mikasa had to join him, and whenever she tried to hold Eren’s hand, he’d yank it away in embarrassment, which of course, sent him off balance. Those were the only times Mikasa intentionally let him fall. Thinking back on it, Armin never remembers seeing Mikasa slip and fall like they did. After several minutes of watching everyone else have fun, Armin soon realized that being left out was worse than the threat of another scolding or a broken arm, so, reluctantly, onto the ice he went. Every time.

“Yeah!” Sputtering, Eren corrects himself. “No! The thing with the shoes! We used to go around in circles, and Mikasa would do those spins that made me feel like I was going to barf, you know! That!”

“Ice skating?”

“Yeah! Ice skating! That’s it; we’ll go ice skating!” Eren’s excitement has reached a high point. He’s vibrating with it, bouncing in his seat, grinning. 

\--- 

Another memory of himself crying makes Armin feel like doing it again, right here in front of Eren, who better not make fun of him for it. He’ll never forget what happened that year.

Armin was spending the holiday with the Jaeger family again that year. It’s customary to give gifts on the eve of the holiday, which the Jaegers called by a name he’d never heard before– Grandpa always called it Yule– and he’d brought along the only gift he could manage, which was now burning brightly in the fireplace and giving off a pleasant smell from all the different leaves and fruits he’d decorated it with. The Jaegers accepted it graciously and happily, even if Eren told him that a log was the worst gift ever.

Everyone was gathered around the fireplace, eating those terrifying puffballs of exploding corn, which earlier they’d also strung into garland with a needle and thread and wrapped around the tree. Eren kept tossing the kernels into the air and trying to catch them in his mouth. He caught maybe three of them, and the rest ended up on the floor. He ate those, too.

They were all munching happily when Dr. Jaeger got up from his chair and announced that it was time to open presents. He got up and left the room, and when he returned, he was holding an armful of lumpy packages wrapped in newspaper and tied with twine. 

Eren was very excited. Mikasa might have been, too, but she pulled her scarf over her nose and mouth, so it was hard to tell. Armin remembers feeling slightly uncomfortable–like he was intruding on a private family moment, even though he was always reassured that he was family. He watched as Eren’s father handed Mikasa hers first and then gave another to Eren. Mrs. Jaeger got one, too, but hers was very small; it didn’t look like the others. Armin watched Eren gleefully start tearing at the paper, but he didn’t get to see what was inside the wrapping.

Eren’s father stood right in front of him, and Armin remembers looking up, and he’ll never forget that image for the rest of his life. Grisha looked like a giant to him. He was smiling, and in his hand was a package that looked just like the ones he’d given to Eren and Mikasa. He extended it to him, and, hesitantly, as if it was a mistake, a gift for someone else, Armin took it.

“This is for you, Armin. Merry Christmas.” 

It _was _for him. The gift was for _him_. 

They’d all gotten the same thing. 

Three little pairs of ice skates: one for Eren, one for Mikasa, and one for him.

Eren didn’t make fun of him for crying that time.

\---

“Ice skates. Eren, that’s perfect.” _Thank god, finally._

“R-really?! You think so? You think Levi’s gonna like it?” Eren’s overjoyed, and Armin can’t help thinking that he looks like, well... a kid on Christmas.

“Definitely. He’s going to love it. Picture it. Just the two of you, holding hands, dancing on the ice, Levi catching you when you trip over your own feet so you don’t fall and break your precious ass. Perfect. Very romantic.” Armin chugs the rest of his cider and stands up to button his coat, tossing a few coins from his pocket onto the table.

“Oh, ha _ha._” Eren’s sarcastic laugh is followed by Armin’s genuine one. He’s so thankful to still have Armin here with him. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him. He remembered hearing how Armin screamed and screamed as the titan closed its jaws, heard it even as he slid down its throat.

Maybe he should cut back on the teasing.

“Hurry up and finish your drink. If we leave now, we can go look for ice skates and hopefully make it back before dinner.”

Eren stares down his mug like it’s Jean, and he’s just challenged him to a fight. He hesitates, giving his drink one last chance to back out, which it doesn’t, obviously, so he rises to the challenge. He picks it up and tosses the remainder back all in one go. He slams the empty cup onto the tabletop, wipes his mouth on his sleeve, and with fiery determination, exclaims, “Let’s go!”

His determination lasts all of two seconds. 

“Armin!” he shouts, panic filling his voice as his eyes, wide with fear, meet Armin’s unconcerned blue ones. 

“What now?”

“I don’t know what size he wears!” 

Armin emits a rough, agitated groan, grabs Eren by the wrist, and drags him out the door and into the snowy streets.


	5. Chapter 5

“Armiiiiin, what am I gonna _do_?” Eren whines from the bottom of the pit of despair he’s thrown himself into.

“Stop whining. We’ll figure something out.”

“But Armiiiiin, it was so perfect!” Eren flops face-down onto his bunk, which Armin is thankful for because it muffles his pathetic moaning.

They looked all over for ice skates, checked every shop in town, even asked around to see if anyone knew where to get some, all to no avail. Some people didn’t even know what they were. Who would have guessed? The two of them certainly didn’t expect shoes with knives attached to them to be such a difficult concept for people to grasp.

“I’ve got it.” 

“You do?” Eren instantly perks up and removes himself from the pillow, leaving behind an indent the same shape as his face. He stares at Armin with wide, hopeful, expectant eyes that silently beg him for a miracle. He holds his breath. 

“We make some. It can’t be that hard to do.” Probably. He hopes. He has no idea, actually.

“Make some. Okay. Okay. That could work.” Eren sits up to think, knitting his brows in concentration. His head snaps up to look at Armin instead of his own feet. He takes a deep breath before he opens his mouth to speak like he’s going to say something big and important, but all he says is, “How do we do that?”

Armin ponders, visualizing all the different components that make up a complete ice skate. A boot, of course, or a sturdy shoe. Some metal, maybe they can get some scraps from the supply house, or perhaps an old broken blade could work. But then how would they attach them? Glue wouldn’t work. Can you drive a nail through metal? But wait, wouldn’t it have to be sideways then? _Ugh. I’m not cut out for this. _

However, he knows someone who might be.

\---

“Come in!”

Even though it was nearing midnight, the scouts knocked on Hanji’s door anyway. They had a hunch that Hanji would still be awake, and they were right.

“Eren! Armin! What a pleasant surprise!”

A chill crept down Eren’s back when he entered the room, and he hesitated at the door, suddenly questioning whether or not this was a good idea.

Hanji looked rather sinister in the shadows cast by the lone candle burning on their desk. Eren bolsters his courage by convincing himself that it’s too late to do any experiments, and besides, Armin is there with him; he won’t let Hanji get carried away. Even if they are in danger of getting swept up into whatever scheme Hanji already looks to be cooking up inside their titan-obsessed head, Eren reassures himself that Hanji will stay true to their word. After the first time Hanji kept him up all night interrogating him and formulating wild theories about his powers, Levi threatened them that if it ever happened again, he’d stitch their mouth shut and take away all their pens. Hanji wouldn’t dare… would they?

“Sorry to bother you so late,” Armin apologizes, and Hanji waves away his concern.

“No, no, it’s fine! So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Hanji pushes their glasses up and stretches in their chair.

In his anxiety, Eren blurts out the reason for their visit.

“Hanji, I need your help! It’s an emergency!” Eren’s words slur together. There’s no time to waste. This is urgent.

Hanji practically jumps out of their chair, rushing around their desk, ready to spring into action. “What kind of emergency?” Hanji leans forward and grabs Eren by the shoulders, scanning his face for answers. “Titans?”

Eren is very disturbed by the grave way Hanji says that word, and doubly so by how gleeful they looked when they said it. He’s frozen, staring into Hanji’s widened eyes, stomach churning at the way Hanji bares their teeth when they grin. He stutters, searching for words. Somehow he’d forgotten why they came here.

An emergency? Armin sighs, partially because Eren is exhausting, but mostly he’s just fondly amused by Eren’s behavior. It’s adorable how Eren acts whenever Levi is involved. He’s so head over heels in love with the man that it’s honestly kind of embarrassing. Eren doesn’t seem to notice or care, no matter how many times Jean teases him about it. He’s happy for Eren. Eren deserves happiness more than anyone.

“Eren needs help making a present for Captain Levi,” Armin says, infinitely more calm about the situation than either of the other two fruitcakes in the room. Both Eren and Hanji turn their heads to look at him, and there are varying degrees of surprise on their wide-eyed, slack-mouthed faces. Hanji still looks just as excited as they did when they thought it was titans. Maybe more. 

“Oh, this is just adorable!” Hanji squeals, releasing Eren from their grip to clap their hands together in front of them, lacing their fingers together like one would when saying a prayer.

“How good are you with metalworking?” Armin speaks for Eren, who has seemingly swallowed his tongue.

“Metalworking?”

“Eren wants to give Levi a pair of ice skates, but none of the shops in town have any, and we haven’t had any luck asking around.” Hanji’s staring at Armin, which makes him start to worry. “Please tell me you know what ice skates are.”

“I’ve seen them before, though I never had a pair of my own.” 

Armin is relieved that Hanji’s at least vaguely familiar with them. The real question is if they have any idea how to make them. 

“Please, Hanji, can you help us make some?” Eren finally speaks, and the earnest way he pleads with Hanji is too cute for them to handle. Eren’s just dug his own grave and he doesn’t even realize it.

Hanji squeals even louder than before, and now they’re bouncing on their toes and clapping their hands. 

“Yes, of course I’ll help! I’ll sketch up some plans and see if I can round up the materials.” 

Armin and Eren exhale deep sighs of relief. They knew Hanji was the right person to go to. Hanji knows everything about everything.

Hanji immediately gets to work, rummaging around on their messy desk for something, pushing aside papers and books in their frantic search, ignoring the row of test tubes that fall onto the floor. Whatever they were looking for doesn’t seem to be hiding under the clutter on their desk, so now they’re opening and closing drawers, digging around until they find it. They pull out a large roll of paper with an exclamation of aha! and plunk down into their chair to unroll the sheet over the top of their desk, knocking over a stack of papers. One flutters gracefully to the floor to join the test tubes.

“You don’t have to start _now_,” Armin says, amused by Hanji’s enthusiasm. 

“Oh, but I do!” Hanji insists, their long chestnut hair falling loosely onto their shoulders when they remove the pencil holding it in place in a messy bun on the back of their head. They start scribbling without looking up, already hard at work on blueprints. 

“Really, it’s okay, it’s late. You should go to bed. We don’t need them right this minute.” Armin glances at Eren to give him a disapproving look. It’s a warning for him to keep his mouth shut because he knows Eren disagrees with him. 

“No way, this is too exciting,” Hanji says, their pencil furiously scratching over the paper. They stop suddenly, looking up to grin at Eren. 

“Exciting?” Eren asks, and it’s another shovel full of dirt because he’s digging himself deeper and doesn’t even know it. Armin decides to let it happen. 

“Yes, yes, exciting! Adorable! You’re so sweet; I could just eat you whole! Unfortunately, I’m not a titan like you, so I can’t, but oh! This is too good! This is an absolute treat, Eren, asking me for help making Levi’s birthday present. He’s going to love this!”

Eren blushes and shifts uncomfortably at the onslaught of awkward, fawning praise, but wait... What was that last thing Hanji said? 

“BIRTHDAY?!” Eren freaks out. It feels like someone dropped a bomb on him, and they sorta did, in a metaphorical sense. Real or conceptual, it feels the same to him. Armin seems mostly unscathed, but he does look shaken. Hanji looks bewildered that there was even a bomb to begin with.

“Is this not his birthday present?” 

“I… It’s… What? This is… Birthday?” Eren’s a stammering idiot, so it’s Armin to the rescue. Again.

“It’s his Christmas present,” Armin informs Hanji, who looks no less puzzled.

“Christmas?”

“Oh. Natalis.” Armin was so used to calling it Christmas that he forgot it was a Jaeger thing.

“So… his birthday present then.”

All three of them are having a staring contest, which Eren loses.

“What?” Eren whispers, because there's not enough air left in his lungs to do much else. His head is spinning. He’s so fucking confused. 

“Are you saying you didn’t know?” Eren shakes his head no, and Hanji isn’t sure how to feel about this. “But you’re his… Really? He never told you that his birthday is on Natalis?” Eren shakes his head again, speechless. “Well, I suppose that makes sense. He tries to keep it a secret, but I assumed he’d told _you_. Ooooh, he’s gonna be pissed at me. Don’t tell him I told you.”

Armin, the saint that he is, intercedes on Eren’s behalf once more. He thanks Hanji profusely and bids them goodnight while trying to push Eren out of the room. All Eren can do is sporadically blink while opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water. Poor Eren. I wonder what he’s thinking?

\---

When the door clicks shut behind them, Eren returns to planet earth from wherever his brain had flown off to.

“Shit,” Eren curses into the empty hallway in front of him, looking with unseeing eyes into the darkness. “I need two presents now.”

If he expects Armin to help right now, Eren’s shit out of luck because the only thing Armin intends on doing next is going the fuck to sleep. Sorry, Eren, you’re on your own. At least for the next eight hours, and if you wake me up even one minute earlier than that, I’m handing you off to Hanji without earplugs.

They depart from Hanji’s lab but only make it halfway down the hall before Eren gasps loudly and stops dead in his tracks. What now?

“Armin! Armin, we have to go back!”

“Why,” Armin says flatly, curious to hear what Eren has to say but not intending to anything about it.

“I gotta go back; I have to tell Hanji!” 

“Tell Hanji what?”

“I don’t know what size boots Levi wears!” 

“Ugh. Come on. We need to go to bed.”

“But, Armin!” Eren cries, failing to grasp what the point of telling them would be, just that it’s of vital importance that they know he doesn’t know, and it has to be right this very second.

“By all means, go right ahead, but I’m going to bed. Have fun spending the night with Hanji.”

Eren waits to see if Armin is bluffing, but when Armin keeps on walking, he quickly makes up his mind. _ Yep. It’s getting late. Boy, am I tired. Better get to bed. _


	6. Chapter 6

Eren dreamed that night.

He was there, and Levi was there, and, wait, where was it that they were again? He sits up and rubs his forehead, trying to remember where they were in his dream. It’s there in the back of his mind. He can feel it; it’s there just out of his reach. He’s having trouble trying to focus on the details of his dream before all the sexy stuff happened. He remembers it being somewhere familiar. He knew it was a real place. He’s certain it was.

He suddenly jolts upright when it hits him. He remembers where it was. It _is _a real place. He’s been there. He’s been there with Levi. He tosses the sheets aside and bolts out of bed in a rush to find Armin. He doesn’t even bother getting dressed first. Boner be damned, it’s _that_ urgent.

\---

“Armin! Armin, wake up, I have to tell you something!”

Armin’s startled awake by someone shouting his name and violently shaking him by the shoulders. It takes him a bit to shake off the panic of being woken the way he was and become aware of his surroundings. Once he is, he groans at what he sees.

Eren’s standing there in his underwear with a frenzied look on his face. It’s too fucking early for this. 

“Eren…” Armin groans, groggy and annoyed. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits up, trying to focus his blurry vision on the clock on the nightstand. “What time is it?”

“I’ve got it! I know where we can go!” Eren gets onto Armin’s bed on his hands and knees, with eyes wide with joy and a grin to match.

“And this couldn’t have waited until after breakfast?” Armin squints; the time on the clock says it’s half past I-Should-Still-Be-Fucking-Sleeping. He sighs. There’s no way Eren’s going to let him go back to sleep. _ You’re lucky I love you, asshole. _ “Fine,” he sighs dramatically, “just tell me.”

“It came to me in a dream.”

Armin sobs internally. Does Levi realize what he’s done to him? It’s even worse now than it was when Eren was a starry-eyed kid watching him with bated breath as he rode back with the Corps. That should’ve been their first clue as to which way Eren swung, but that realization didn’t come until much later. Not until that one time Eren wouldn’t shut the fuck up about him and then suddenly got _very _embarrassed and ran away.

Whatever. Levi makes him happy and treats him like he’s the most important thing in the world. He’ll tolerate the annoyance and occasional oversharing if it means that Eren is happy.

\---

They see Hanji at breakfast. 

Levi thinks it’s a little weird that they’re waving and grinning at Eren from across the room, but then again, everything Hanji does is weird. He’s surrounded by weirdos. You kind of have to be a little weird to want to join the Survey Corps. At least Hanji doesn’t try to sniff everyone. Or, at least not very often.

Levi turns his attention back to the oatmeal that it was someone else’s turn to make this morning. He wonders how it can be the same food. It’s nothing like it is when he makes it. He’s just put his spoon in his mouth when he senses the weirdo sitting next to him doing weird things, and his spoon is still in his mouth when he looks over to find out what the fuck Eren is doing. 

Eren’s looking at Hanji, and then at him, and then at his oatmeal. His attention stays on the oatmeal for a while, and Eren contemplates some deep meaning found within the bowl before starting the process all over again.

“Do you have to take a piss or something? Sit still.” 

Eren’s too excited to sit still. Too distracted. His mind is going a mile a minute. He can’t focus on anything other than the surprise he has planned for Levi. He can’t wait another second. He has to talk to Hanji. Now.

“Sorry. Do you want the rest of my oatmeal? I need to go talk to Hanji about something.”

Levi raises an eyebrow at him and shrugs before sticking his spoon in Eren’s bowl and sliding it over to himself. 

“Thanks, Captain. I’ll see you later, okay?” Eren reaches over to subtly squeeze Levi’s knee under the table, and Levi rubs Eren’s ankle with his boot and nods once, slowly, letting their eyes lock just long enough for them to see what they want to say to each other without actually saying it.

Eren runs off in Hanji’s direction. He stops when he sees Armin, and Armin narrowly avoids falling out of his chair when Eren grabs him by the arm to drag him away from his half-eaten breakfast. 

Levi watches with some interest at what’s going on at Hanji’s table. Two dingbats and one normal person have a short exchange of words, but the only thing he can hear from where he’s sitting is a high-pitched squeal from Hanji. Eren looks elated. Armin looks like he’s experiencing intestinal distress. Hanji looks like Hanji. Whatever it is they’re doing, he has no desire to get involved. Not unless he finds out Hanji’s doing weird experiments on him again, in which case… _involved_ won’t be the half of it.

\---

“Come, come, come! Don’t say anything else. Let’s go down to the lab.” Hanji sees Levi staring at them, so they grin and wave. Even from across the room, Hanji can see Levi shudder and turn his face away.

\---

  
  


The door is shut and locked behind them, and Eren instinctively gulps at the sound of the bolt clicking into place. He shakes it off. Focus! You’re here for Levi!

“Alright, let’s continue. Now, what was your question?” Hanji hops up onto the ledge of their desk, planting their ass right on top of a book. Their brows raise in surprise at the sudden sharp edge digging into their asscheek, and they blindly reach down to remove the offending object and toss it onto the floor. They brace their hands on the ledge and lean forward, with eyes as big as saucers, right up in Eren’s face. Eren automatically steps back.

“I… I was asking for permission to go on leave,” Eren says while looking at his feet, blushing lightly. Hanji does not miss those details, but Eren’s eyes are locked on the floor, so he’s spared the sight of Hanji’s grin widening enough to bare their teeth. 

“Oh? This is a first..” Hanji straightens their posture, removing themselves from Eren’s personal space. They cross their arms, maniacal grin replaced with a playful look of contemplation. Eren fidgets in place with averted eyes when they don’t answer right away. This is fun, Hanji thinks, chuckling to themselves. “Permission granted.”

Eren’s head is up in an instant, and he looks at Hanji in amazement. He was starting to fear that his request would be denied. 

“On two conditions.” Hanji’s arms remain crossed as they lean back slightly to get a better look at Eren. Armin is standing firmly by his side, offering moral support. Adorable. 

“Yes?” asks Eren, his spirits falling somewhat, fearing what Hanji’s going to say. It’s not beyond Hanji to fuck with him, but he still remains hopeful. They’ve been happy and compliant about helping out with his surprise gift for Levi. Excessively so. Embarrassingly so.

“One,” they say, raising their index finger, “I’m working on putting together your ice skates. I’ll go get the metal for them, but I’ll need you to bring me a pair of Levi’s boots and a pair of yours before I can start.” Eren looks at Hanji, bewildered but willing. “And two,” counting off on their middle finger, “you can’t go by yourself. Sorry, Eren, but you know the rules.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem,” Armin chimes in, thirsty for a little revenge on Eren for dragging him into this and pestering him about it every waking minute. This is mild, and it would’ve happened with or without him being there, but he is here, and there’s no way in hell he’d pass up the chance to see Eren get flustered by Hanji’s boundless and unrelenting excitement over this.

“Oh? Armin, are you going to be his chaperone?” Hanji knows he’s not, but it’ll be much more rewarding to hear one of them say it. This is just too adorable. It’s delicious. 

“Nope.” Armin’s gonna make Eren say it. It’s his idea, after all. Hanji’s going to love this.

“Me?” Hanji asks, obviously being disingenuous, which Armin notices, but Eren doesn’t. Eren shakes his head and averts his eyes, chewing his lip and blushing deeper. “Mikasa?” Eren shakes his head again. “No? Then, who?” They’re practically salivating in anticipation.

“Captain Levi,” Eren mumbles quietly, bracing for impact.

Hanji squeals and claps. Eren knew that was coming. Why are they so obsessed with his and Levi’s relationship? _ God, are they getting off on it? Fuck, that’s creepy. _But… on the upside, they heartily approve of the superior-subordinate relationship, and they’re always more than willing to do them favors, exuberantly so. So whatever Hanji does in their personal time, that’s up to them, as long as he never has to hear about it.

“So... you're going away with Captain Levi, hm?” Hanji’s expression turns serious, and one eyebrow partially disappears beneath the glasses resting on their forehead. “I see.” 

_ Hanji, please stop making that face. _

“How disappointing. I've been planning your wedding for ages, and you two decide to elope.”

Eren sputters, his face now entirely red. “It’s… It’s not like that!” he cries.

_ Okay, I’ve had my fill. Aww, look at him. Poor Eren. Does he do this in front of Levi, too? Actually, forget it, I don’t want to think about that. _

“Eren wants to spend Christ– _Natalis_ with Levi. They’re going ice skating, and then they’re going to decorate a tree together and bake cookies.” _ Oops, how thoughtless of me, I did it again. _Armin keeps his chuckle to himself.

“We are?” Eren looks over at Armin, surprised. _ I don’t remember saying anything like that. _

“Eren, you’re just the sweetest little thing. Only you could be able to convince Levi to do something like this. He never celebrates the holiday, let alone his birthday.” Eren must be really special.

“Oh, I haven’t… uh.”_ I didn’t think of that. Is Levi going to agree to this? _“Yet.”

“Are you saying you haven’t _told _him yet? No wonder you came to me for permission. Levi’s a high enough rank to grant leave. So this is a surprise, then.” Hanji’s known Levi way longer than Eren. Levi hates surprises. Well, he hates _nice _surprises. Though, Eren accidentally turning into a titan _was _a nice surprise, and Levi didn’t seem to mind. Hm. What a strange, confusing little man.

“No, I… Yeah, it’s a surprise.” Eren instantly finds himself overcome with fear. Hanji’s mouth is never shut. _ Maybe I should’ve asked Erwin. But wait, Erwin doesn’t know. On the other hand, Levi’s the one Erwin put in charge of babysitting me, so he probably would’ve sent Levi along without a second thought. Too late for that now. _“Please don’t tell anyone!”

“Eren! I would never spoil your surprise. I won’t say a word.” 

Eren sighs in relief. He was worried for a minute there. Though whether or not Hanji can keep quiet about it despite their assurance that they will remains to be seen. “Thank you, Hanji. This means a lot to me.”

“Buuuuut,” Hanji lilts, sing-song and ominous. _ Oh, no, now what? _ Eren thinks. “You have to give me all the details!”

“Hanjiiiiii,” Eren whines, pleading for mercy.

“You can’t just tell me you’re taking Levi on a romantic getaway and leave me hanging! Oh, Eren, you’re so cruel!” Hanji whines, high-pitched and dramatic. “Fine, fine, you don’t have to tell me every intimate detail. I’m sure I can figure it out on my own. But,” Hanji pauses, thinking. “You think Levi will spill? Hmmm.”

“No, no, it’s not like Levi to kiss and tell. Or do anything and tell. Seriously, Eren, I gotta know. Does he even talk, or is it all just toilet humor and insults?” They’re curious. Levi does talk, but he’s boring. He never tells them any of the good stuff. 

“Yes,” Eren replies, intentionally vague. This is venturing into dangerous territory. He’ll admit that he’s not the best at picking up on when others are trying to get him to say more than he should. He knows he rarely thinks before he speaks. The easiest solution is to say nothing. He must protect Levi at all costs! Hanji’s already tried to catch him off guard several times and nearly tricked him into answering their question about Levi’s… endowment. Just because he’s short doesn’t mean that he’s– _ nope, don’t even go there. Stop thinking about it. If you get a boner and Hanji sees, that’s it. You’re fucked for life. You’ll never live that down. And don’t think about getting fucked! Ugh. I should leave now before I can dig myself even deeper. Armin, help! _

“Yes to what, the talking or the shit jokes?”

“That’s classified,” Eren states calmly. _ Damn, that sounded cool. I’m such a badass. _

“I see Levi’s stubbornness has rubbed off on you.”

_ That's not all he's rubbed off on me, _ Eren thinks to himself_. Did they really have to say it like that? Now I'm thinking about it. Get it together. They’re probably trying to trick you again. That goes for you too, penis. Don’t you fucking dare. _

“So all Eren has to do now is bring you some boots, and then he can leave.” _ Don’t worry, Eren, I’m here. _

“That’s it. In the meantime, I’ll try measuring his foot and then go to Supply and try to match it up to any of the ones they have there. I started drawing up the plans for your ice skates, but I can’t start on making them until I have your shoe sizes. You know, I took a look at his feet when he was walking into the mess hall this morning. I never realized Levi had such small feet. They’re smaller than Armin’s! I bet he has to get them custom made. I’ve never met a full-grown man that tiny.”

“Hey! He is _ not _ tiny!” _ Just because he’s short enough for me to kiss him on the top of his head while he’s standing up doesn’t mean he’s tiny. His muscles are huge. So is his… Goddammit, brain, knock it the fuck off! And you down there, don’t listen to him. I’m warning you. _

“Eren, I’m dying to know. Is he… proportional? This is for science.” 

Armin clears his throat. Eren’s one second away from rolling up his sleeves and assaulting a commanding officer. This isn’t the first time Hanji’s tried to get Eren to talk about Levi’s… thing. 

It’s endearing how Eren’s always defending Levi’s honor, but this is not the time or the place. Does he want Hanji to change their mind about granting him leave, knowing full well that he’s fraternizing and Hanji could report it to the Commander at any time?

“We’ll be back with the boots. May we have permission to leave the base? I’ll stay with Eren at all times.”

“That’s fine, but I expect you two to say out of trouble. Can you manage that?” Hanji doesn’t look at Eren; they look at Armin. Armin receives the message loud and clear.

“Thank you so much, Hanji. This is really important to Eren, and we couldn’t have done it without your help. Right, Eren?” Armin nudges Eren, who is rapidly cycling through a wide range of emotions, but when Armin gets his attention, he grins widely at Hanji.

“Thank you. I owe you one.”

_ Eren, you dumbass. _

“We best get going now. We might not make it back until after dark, but we’ll try to be back in time for dinner.”

“Levi’s going to be wondering where you are when he can’t find you.” Hanji points out, but from the way Eren tenses up, it’s clear that he didn’t pick up on the reassuring way in which it was said. “Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve got your back.”


	7. Chapter 7

“You remember how to get there, right?” Eren hadn’t gone much further than confirming that the dream-location _was _a real location when it came to him this morning. He knows _where _it is, but he was just following Levi’s lead like the rest of the scouts when they went there. He was too busy admiring the back of Levi’s head to pay attention to how they _got _there.

“Seriously, Eren? You’re lucky that one of us pays attention to their surroundings. It’s a miracle you haven’t been eaten yet.” Armin makes sure to memorize every route they take. He doesn’t need a map.

“Actually, I have.” He wouldn’t fault Armin for repressing the memory. “Twice.” 

“I was joking. You think I’d forget you saving my life? Or your severed arm flying at my face? I’m surprised you remembered the second time, though. I didn’t think you were even awake for it.” It’s a shame. Eren would’ve loved to see his knight in shining armor swoop in to save him and carry him away in his arms.

“Yeah… sorry about that.” Eren, like the weirdo Armin knows and loves, has a thought. “Hey, whatever happened to it? I think my foot got swallowed, but did my arm dissolve, or was it just laying there until someone cleaned it up?”

“I don’t know, Eren, I was kind of distracted by my best friend dying in front of me. Why, did you want me to keep it?” 

“Eh, just wondering.”

“Enough talk about severed limbs. Are we just going there to scope out the location, or do we need supplies? If not, let’s hurry and saddle up. It’s best if we’re not gone too long.”

“Always the voice of reason.” Eren thinks about it for a bit. He’s in a hurry to get there, but it’ll be a waste of time just to go and look. Might as well make freezing his balls off in the snow to get there worthwhile. 

“Yeah, actually, there’s a few things I think I should bring.” One of them being Levi instead of Armin, so they can get in some makeout time without the risk of being caught. But… that’ll spoil the surprise. He’ll just have to wait a week or so. Maybe Levi will let him stay the night tonight. He’ll ask when he gets back.

“Okay, but keep it light. Don’t overload the horses. Go get your stuff together. I’ll tack up. Meet me at the stable when you’re done. Don’t be long.”

“Got it! I’ll meet you there in a bit.”

\---

“Maria, Eren, I thought we were packing light!” Armin is just finishing up with Eren’s horse. Good thing he decided to fit them both with saddlebags. “What is all this shit? Did you even pack any food? Wait– is that a _ broom? _”

“Two brooms. And a mop. I figure the place’ll be pretty dusty.” Eren thought that would be obvious. Why does Armin sound so surprised? “I hope the buckets are still there. I was in a hurry and forgot to grab one.”

“Now I see why Levi loves you so much.” Armin’s never met anyone so excited about cleaning. Especially not Eren, but that was before Levi came along. Love is weird. So are Eren and Levi.

“Hey, are you implying he’s only using me for my expert cleaning skills?” Eren says with mock offense. “I have other redeeming qualities!”

“Uh-huh. I’m sure.” Armin teases back.

“Asshole.” Armin laughs at him, so now he has both his honor _and _ Levi’s to defend. “For one, he says I give the best foot rubs in the world. He also says I give the best bl–”

“Shut it! I was joking!” Why is Eren like this? No shit Levi would think Eren gives the best… that second thing. Eren wasted no time telling him that he _deflowered _the Captain of the Survey Corps, ergo Eren’s… _ activities _ … are the best by default. “Have you no _shame? _” 

“Not anymore,” Eren smirks. Armin huffs in frustration.

“Yes, you have plenty of redeeming qualities, but your smart mouth is not one of them!”

“Are you saying I’m smart? Aww, Armin, thank–”

“No.”

\---

When they finally arrive at the small cabin where they’d once spent the night during an only mildly successful weekend hunting trip– Sasha and Levi were the only ones who’d caught any game, though Eren was able to reel in a small fish from the lake, all the larger ones just ran off with his bait– they’re chilled to the bone.

“Armin! What the fuck?!” Eren exclaims when a horse walks through the front door.

“Eren, it’s freezing outside. They’re cold. I’m not going to leave you out there, am I? Oh no, no, no, you’re not staying out there, you’re coming inside where it’s warm.” Armin coos, scratching his horse under the chin. It’s not much warmer inside the cabin than it is outside, but at least it blocks the wind. Most of it. Eren opens his mouth to protest, as Armin knew he would. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. They already shit outside.”

“I don’t wear panties, you perv.” Eren stops to glare at Armin before making a full sweep of the house.

“I wonder if Levi would say you’re telling the truth. Think he’d tell me if I asked?” Armin has no intention of asking. Not only because he doesn’t want to know, but also because he doesn’t want to die. 

“Gross,” Eren says with his back to Armin, swiping his fingers across the windowsill and cringing. Armin thinks Eren’s talking about the thick layer of dust on the windowsill, unintentionally imitating how Levi always says it. He thought wrong. “Besides, have you ever actually _seen _panties? There’s no way my balls would fit in those.”

“To answer your question, yes. Yes I have. Now can we please stop talking about your junk? There are innocent ears listening!” Armin tries to cover his horse’s ears but can’t actually reach that far. 

“Armin, they’ve had all of our junk on their backs. I’m sure they know more about what’s in your pants than anyone.” 

“Erennnn, stop! Oh my god! What are you, twelve?” _ I’m the gross one? _

“You’re the one who brought the horses into this! And the panties! Damn, I never knew you were into that. How often do you think about my underwear?” Eren enjoys the banter with Armin. It makes him feel normal again, just like when they were kids who joked and played without a care in the world. But not twelve. That life ended before they’d reached that age. 

Eren hasn’t realized that amid all their joking and laughing, his persistent sadness has all but disappeared. Armin senses it. He doesn’t bring it up. It’s worth enduring the teasing and insults and Eren’s embarrassingly dirty mouth. Probably picked that up from Levi. 

“Okay, let’s stop _ horsing _ around and get to work.” Armin’s getting cold just standing around. He has to do something to get his blood flowing. He checks the stove to see if there’s any wood or coal left in it. He had a hunch that Eren wouldn’t bring matches, so he brought extra.

“That was terrible.”

“So are you.” They laugh together, and Eren starts unpacking his saddlebags. “I’m gonna start a fire if we’re staying. I’ll be right back.”

“You better not ditch me so you can get out of helping me clean.” Armin watches as Eren pulls out a white handkerchief and shakes out the fabric. Two handkerchiefs. Armin snickers when he sees Eren tie one over his hair and one over his nose and mouth. Levi, what have you _done _to him? Adorable.

\---

“So,” Eren asks, his voice muffled slightly by his handkerchief, “What was all that about baking cookies and putting up a tree?”

Once Armin returned with some dry wood and started a fire in the cast-iron stove, Eren immediately put him to work. In the short time he was gone, Eren had already swept the cobwebs from the ceiling and was now starting on the countertops. Top to bottom, just like Levi had taught them. It was peaceful, and they talked while they worked. 

“You’re going to bake cookies and put up a tree. That’s what you do on Christmas. You’re supposed to be making new memories with Levi, not just running off to the countryside to–” Armin shuts up in a hurry.

Eren turns to look at Armin with a smirk on his lips and a taunting eyebrow raised. “To what?”

“I was going to say fool around, but–” He can see Eren opening his mouth, ready to fire back. “Don’t. Don’t even. You shut your filthy mouth and finish dusting that– wait, are you dusting the wall?” 

“What? It’s dusty.” Eren says this like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. _ Aha! For once, I know something that Armin doesn’t! _ “Go do the other one, it’ll be faster with both of us, and then I can start on the floors.”

Even though his mouth is hidden behind his handkerchief, Armin can tell that Eren is smiling while he cleans, probably dreaming about Levi’s praise. It’s sweet. They’re quiet for a little while, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. The logs are crackling in the stove, and the horses are breathing softly, every so often swishing their tails and snorting in their sleep.

“So, the tree,” Eren says, running his fingers along the walls, inspecting his handiwork the best he can with what little light comes through the grate on the stove. 

“Yeah? What about it?” Armin is already tired. He knows they’re not going to be able to clean this whole place up to Levi’s standards unless they spend all night here, and they’d promised Hanji they wouldn’t be gone too long.

“Who’s going to chop down that tree?” Eren sweeps his first pile of debris into his dustpan and looks around for somewhere to empty it. _ Crap. _ The only place he can think of that doesn’t involve going outside is the stove, so he opens the grate and shakes his dustpan into the fire.

Smoke immediately billows out into the room, but Armin is the only one who coughs at the smell. Eren is unbothered, all thanks to his handkerchief. _ Who’s the smart one now, Armin? _

“Probably the one of us who’s actually strong.” Armin waves his hand in front of his face to disperse the cloud of burned dust and dried leaves and probably a whole bunch of dead bugs. “Just a small one. It’ll be easy. I’ll help you drag it in.”

“Deal. But you gotta be the one to make sure we don’t end up with a pissed-off squirrel running around in here and trying to tear our faces off.” _ I’m pretty tired of getting my face torn off. _ By now, Eren’s already filled his second dustpan and is about to empty it into the stove until Armin yells at him.

“Outside!”

“But it’s cold,” Eren whines, “I just got warm!”

Armin huffs and takes the dustpan from Eren’s hand, and Eren glowers at him when the sudden movement disturbs the dust inside it, and some of it falls back onto the floor. He rolls his eyes and sidesteps around the horses to get to the door. He opens it just a crack, sticks the pan out, overturns it, taps it on the doorframe for good measure before shutting the door and returning Eren’s dustpan.

“Have you thought about food?” Armin asks when his stomach growls. Eren probably hadn’t thought about that, either. Seems like there’s only one thing he’s thought about, two if you count cleaning.

Armin glances at the stove. It might need another log soon, but he hopes they won’t be staying that long. Neither of them has a watch, and there’s no clock in the cabin, but it’s a lot darker now than when they arrived. It’s at least an hour’s ride back. They should really wrap this up. They’ll come back tomorrow to finish if Hanji allows.

“Not really. We can bring rations.” Eren doesn’t sound concerned.

“Eren! You can’t set up this whole special thing for Levi and then make him eat field rations!”_ I shouldn’t be the one who has to teach Eren how to wine and dine their suitor. _ Eren just shrugs.

“What else are we going to eat?” Yeah, rations are kinda gross, but neither of them can cook, so whatever they make themselves will probably be worse. 

“Something more appropriate for the occasion? Like a proper Christmas dinner.” Armin tries to remember what they used to eat. It’s been a long time, and the first thing that comes to mind is popcorn. He shudders at the memory. “What did we used to eat?”

“Hm. Popcorn?” 

“I knew you were going to say that. But come on. You can’t subsist on popcorn the whole time. You’re going to need your energy, I’m _sure_, so it has to be more substantial than that. It’s like eating air that gets stuck in your teeth.” 

“We always made those chestnuts over the fire. That’s easy enough.”

“Okay, good, chestnuts, can’t fuck those up. I remember we used to eat things made with apples.” While the rest of what they ate at Christmastime was mostly forgettable, Mrs. Jaeger’s apple pie is decidedly not. He’s had dreams about that pie once or twice.

“And… those things that were like oranges, but small.” What were those called again? Doesn’t matter. Armin knows what they are. “Sweet potatoes. And, um… chicken.”

“Goose.” 

“That’s a kind of chicken,” Eren contends.

“No, it’s not. It’s a completely different animal.” Armin glances out the window. No time to argue about poultry. “So we have chestnuts, apples, satsumas, sweet potatoes, and goose. That sounds about right. How long do you plan on staying? You’ll probably need more food than that, but that’s a good start.”

“And popcorn. You forgot the popcorn.”

“Eren, do you even _ like _ popcorn, or are you just being a pain in the ass?” Armin’s pretty sure he’s just being a pain in the ass. 

“We need it if we’re going to have a tree. It’s not a Christmas tree unless there are decorations on it. It was your idea.” It was a good idea, though. He can’t imagine Levi doing it, but the thought of decorating a tree with him, just the two of them in a cozy little cabin in the countryside? It does funny things to his stomach, but in a good way.

“Let’s talk more about this on the ride back. We really should get going now. I have no idea what time it is, but I hope we haven’t missed dinner.” Armin makes a mental note to bring a clock next time. “Wait, put out the stove first. I’ll pack.”

“Get me some snow then,” Eren orders, helpfully holding out his dustpan for Armin so that he can enjoy his last few minutes of warmth before having to go back outside. “And don’t bother packing this stuff up; I’m leaving it here.”

The fire is out, the excessive number of cleaning supplies tidied away, their coats and hoods and gloves are on, and the horses are awake. 

Eren doesn’t talk much on the ride back to headquarters. He’s too busy dreaming about that beautiful, run-down little cabin, a warm fire, and the only person in the world he wants to share it with. _ Sorry, Armin. _


	8. Chapter 8

“Oi, Four-eyes.”

Hanji’s gotten used to the way Levi greets people. Sometimes he does it properly, but usually, he just sneaks up on you, so quietly that you don’t even know he’s there until he insults you. Truthfully, Hanji’s not only used to it; they’re fond of it. 

It took Eren longer to adjust, but now you’d never guess he’d just been called a shithead and glared at with the way he smiles about it. What’s even stranger to observe is that the crasser the nickname Levi uses for Eren when he greets him, the longer the kiss lasts. Hanji’s only seen it the handful of times the couple had been careless about their surroundings, but those few times were _fascinating_. Hanji theorizes that it must be some type of secret code and has spent an afternoon or three trying to decipher it.

“Hm? What’s that?” Hanji doesn’t need to turn around and look to know that Levi is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring. Hanji acts casual, doing nothing to draw attention to what’s spread out over their workbench. “You’re going to have to speak up; I can’t hear you from down there.”

“Tch.” This sound that Levi makes is another one of the many weird ways he communicates. What it means depends on the context, and right now, it means he’s amused; it’s filling in for laughter.

Levi appears to be eyeing the scientist with disdain, but that’s just how his face looks. If Levi is this weird, then Eren must be even weirder, considering he’s fallen in love with someone like Levi, Hanji thinks. They’re perfect for each other. 

“Actually, I’m glad you’re here. Sit down a minute. You want tea?”

Levi cringes and ignores the question by asking one of his own.

“Where’s my brat.” Levi pushes himself off the wall and hops up to sit on the edge of Hanji’s desk instead of in the chair beside it. 

“He’s out running an errand. He’ll be back in a few hours.” Levi’s critical eyes follow Hanji’s every move as they abandon their workbench in favor of walking over to their desk and kneeling in front of Levi’s crossed legs dangling over the edge.

“An errand or an experiment?” Levi asks, continuing to observe Hanji’s apparent fascination with his foot. Freak, he thinks to himself while Hanji tilts their head holds up their hand next to his foot and squints. “The fuck are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Hanji answers innocently while they stand up from their crouch, never taking their eyes off their hand. They blindly feel for a pencil with one hand and flatten the other onto the desk before making two pencil marks on whatever document happened to be under their hand when they set it down. “Just measuring.”

“That thing they say about big feet is just an old wives’ tale," he cockily informs Hanji. It's not that he's insecure, as Eren will happily attest to his sufficiency in that department, and that's none of Hanji's business anyway, but... Once he sees that Hanji’s hand is larger than his foot, his asinine male instincts compel him to defend his honor. 

“Oh! Now's the perfect time to test my hypothesis, then! Here, help me gather data,” Hanji says, their devious eyes hidden behind the glare on their glasses while they reach down to unzip their fly, “Let’s compare!”

“Bye.” Levi hops off the table and marches out the door.

“Okay, bye, Levi! Be sure to send Eren my way when he gets back!” Hanji calls down the hall with their hand cupped beside their mouth to carry the sound.

Levi didn’t bother to acknowledge them; he just kept right on walking steadily, not missing a beat when he lifted his hand to his shoulder and extended a single finger that sent Hanji into a fit of hysterical laughter that echoed down the corridor.

\---

The closer they get to the holiday, the emptier the castle gets. 

Every year around this time is when many of the soldiers choose to take their leave. It's mostly the ones who have families or civilian lovers to return to, but a handful of others use the time off to pick up part-time jobs in town, waiting tables or washing dishes or selling pies to make a little extra money.

Eren is never among those. He has no one to go home to. He has no _home _to even go to. He can’t even visit the city where his home once was. So he stays behind with the only family he has. The three orphaned kids from Shiganshina spend the holiday together. 

However, this time around, Eren spends less time brooding over it than he ever has, and he doesn't even know it's happening. He's not consciously aware that he doesn't feel as sad and lonely as he always does when Christmastime comes around or that he's been waking up excited to start the day instead of wanting to sleep through it. 

It's not because he's been too busy this year to notice when it starts happening, though that is partially the case. Eren has been so busy with preparations that he really hasn't been around headquarters enough even to detect how much quieter it’s become, and that's usually the first detail he notices. He’s been getting back late, around the time when everyone would typically already be in bed, so he sees nothing unusual about the heavy silence.

But even when he stays for breakfast, where the absences should be the most obvious, he doesn’t register the dwindling numbers of soldiers in the mess hall. His mind is on other things.

He’s not being left behind this year. He has something to look forward to, and he has someone of his own to spend it with.

He and Armin have been busting their asses to get the cabin ready in time for Levi’s birthday. Every room is spotless down to the cracks in the floorboards. It’s stocked with firewood and sets of clean bedding, cooking utensils and tableware, and a tin of Levi’s second favorite tea (much to Eren’s dismay, as that’s all he could find). Eren even went so far as to scrub the latrine from floor to ceiling twice, _ and _he replaced the old, splintering wooden seat with new lumber that he sanded himself until it was smooth as silk. Eren did everything he could to make sure Levi could shit in luxury, even if it’s outside in a rickety, snow-covered outhouse. Nothing but the best of the best belongs under his Captain’s majestic bottom. 

By that logic, Eren reasons that he is _also _the best because he’s located there quite frequently. 

Today they chopped down a scrawny pine tree with an old, rusty ax they found in the cabin and brought it inside, squirrel-free and waiting to be decorated. Just a few more things and it’ll be perfect. Eren can hardly wait. 

Levi still has no idea.

\---

“He’s not here.”

Levi isn’t even past the threshold before Hanji answers the question he hasn’t gotten the chance to ask yet.

It’s been like this nearly every day for the past few weeks. He wasn’t worried the first time Eren missed dinner. Hanji said they’d sent him on an errand, so it wasn’t surprising it took him all day. Hanji probably had him out scouring every seedy back alley for some obscure science shit. Levi’s always suspected that some of the things Hanji asks for don’t even exist; they’re just a way to entertain themselves by sending recruits on wild goose chases. 

But then he missed dinner the next day, too. He’d only seen him at breakfast, and then he was gone. When he asked Hanji about it, all they’d said was, “oh, he’s around here somewhere.”

Except he wasn’t. Eren’s been hiding in his room a lot lately, moping and refusing to interact with anyone other than him. He wasn’t there. So he asked around, but the last time anyone saw him was at breakfast, and none of them heard him mention anything about going out. 

What truly gave Levi the sense that Eren wasn’t there is that if he were, Eren would have already snuck off to find him and try to pull him into the nearest empty room or supply closet to feel him up because the impatient brat can never just wait until after dinner when they’re off duty and he can take him up to his bedroom and _lock the door_.

It isn’t like Eren to disappear without warning, but when Levi found that Eren’s horse was gone and his saddle along with it, it appeared that’s exactly what he’d done. 

Levi knows Eren can take care of himself, and if someone managed to get around the whole titan thing and kidnap him, it’s doubtful they’d know which horse to take unless they made Eren tell them to make it look like he left on his own. Levi starts to worry now. There aren’t as many people occupying the castle right now, so it would be the perfect time for someone who knew that to use it to their advantage. Less chance they’d be seen or heard. Levi wonders if he’s gotten too lax in watching over Eren. 

He didn’t think to look for Armin, even though he’s the only other person Eren spends that much time around. If he’d only checked a few stalls down from Eren’s, he’d have seen that Armin’s horse was gone, too.

Eren eventually came home that night after missing dinner again. Levi was in his room pacing, worrying about where Eren was, and if he’s okay, and _what if he doesn’t come home???_, but then someone knocked on his door in a familiar pattern that only one person could’ve known.

He yanked Eren into his room by the harness, and for a second, thought about chewing him out for leaving without telling him and making him worry, but he opted instead to take him to bed in the hope that it might be harder for him to wander off tomorrow if he made walking a little more difficult for him.

He wandered off anyway.

Even though he knows now that Eren is safe when he’s away, he still worries. He doesn’t know where he’s going, and if Hanji knows, they’re being unusually good at keeping it a secret. He knows Eren isn’t going off with someone else behind his back, so there’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about.

But what if this has to do with his depressed behavior as of late? He thought Eren was feeling better. Since their talk, he’s been taking extra care with him, asking him how he feels more often, being sure to give him attention when he needs it even if he’s busy. He tries harder to learn how to comfort him with words, but despite his best efforts, he’s still not getting much better at it. He makes up for his deficiency in that department by comforting him in the one way that is both _quite _agreeable to Eren and that he knows he’s good at.

After the fifth night alone, Eren’s extended absence finally takes its toll on him. Eren assures him he’s fine and that everything is okay and he’s almost done helping Armin make preparations, though he doesn’t say for what, and it’s not that his worries aren’t assuaged, it’s just that…

He misses him.

His someone to come home to.


	9. Chapter 9

Today is Armin’s lucky day. 

He finally gets a little break from Eren. Apparently, Levi was so pissed off about Armin keeping him from spending time with Eren that he dragged Eren off right after breakfast before he could get a chance to disappear again. _ After _he gave Armin the dirtiest of dirty looks. Armin didn’t mind taking the heat.

Armin makes sure to take full advantage of this sudden stroke of good fortune while he still can. He’s not sure how much time he’ll have to relax, but from the looks of things, he may just have an entire day _and _night all to himself.

So, after a long, hot shower, he changes into comfortable clothes, grabs a good book, and heads down to the common room to read in front of the fireplace and enjoy whatever company he may find there. Most of the scouts are still around, but many of them will be leaving soon to visit their families, so it’ll be nice to spend some time with them before they go. Not that he doesn’t want to spend time with Eren, but anyone who’s been around him for more than a day would tell you that he can be a little much. 

The gods must be smiling on him because the only other person as loud and vulgar as Eren already left a few days ago while he was out at the farmhouse with Eren. No shouting match with _ Jeanbo _this year, no bloody noses, no black eyes– even though Jean _does _deserve them for being insensitive enough to talk about going home to eat his mom’s cooking while within earshot of Eren.

As insensitive as that is, he’s at least stopped intentionally rubbing it in Eren’s face like he did the first time they fought over it, back when they were still cadets, and Jean saw Eren as competition. That first fight was _ugly. _ Shadis heard the commotion and walked in while Eren had Jean on the ground, and Jean was punching Eren in the face while Eren was trying to choke him out. It didn’t end well for anyone.

They’re friends now, but it’s funny how it turned out that Eren was never competition in the first place. At least not in any way that involved Mikasa.

As he enters the common room with his book under his arm and a mug of warm apple cider in his hand, he sees that the sofa closest to the fireplace is already occupied.

Christa and Ymir are always part of the group that stays behind because they have nowhere else to go, so he’s not surprised to see them. 

His initial reaction is to be disappointed because that’s where he wanted to sit, but that’s only until his brain registers what’s happening there.

Ymir is wiggling a sprig of mistletoe above her head and grinning at Christa. Christa is giggling and blushing, playfully trying to push Ymir away. 

When Christa notices that Armin’s standing in the entryway, her eyes open wide with alarm, her cheeks get even pinker, and her giggles immediately cease. Ymir doesn’t seem to care about his presence and uses Christa’s distraction as her chance to swoop in and kiss her on the cheek. Ymir looks smug when Christa’s eyes go even wider, and she stiffens, obviously mortified.

Armin blushes brightly when he realizes he’s been staring. He gives a small, awkward nod as a greeting and then lowers his head and hurries to the unoccupied armchair on the opposite side of the room.

Armin always noticed that if Christa went somewhere, Ymir was never far behind. And they were always standing so close to each other, always sat together during meals or lectures, and if Christa walked away for any reason, Ymir’s eyes followed her around the room. He had his suspicions but didn’t care to think more deeply about it- their personal life is none of his business and therefore inappropriate to speculate on.

Now that he’s accidentally confirmed it, he groans internally. Seriously, is it _everyone _here? _ And here I thought Eren would be the only one. Sina, they should rename it the Sure-gay Corps because apparently, that’s a prerequisite for joining up. Okay, wow. That was bad. I can do better than that. That was a million times worse than the horse pun. _

Armin himself has never thought much, if ever, about relationships. Or, more accurately, his _own _relationships, because he sure as hell can’t seem to go five minutes without hearing about Eren’s. 

But now he’s curious. Who _would _he date if he had the chance? When he thinks about it, he can’t recall a time when he’s ever felt particularly attracted to anyone. He’s fond of Mikasa, but that’s different. Eren, too. The girls in the Corps are all really nice, and so are (most of) the boys, but he can’t imagine dating any of them. Of all the people in the Corps, no one stands out to him. Though, if he had to choose, he supposes the Commander might be the most handsome out of everyone.

_ Shit. Me too? Really?? _

Armin decides not to think any more on this and starts on his book instead.

He’s two chapters in when out of nowhere, an image pops into his mind and won’t go away.

Ymir’s mistletoe. 

He’s not supposed to be thinking about Eren right now; he’s supposed to be enjoying some much-needed time to himself. He’s certainly not supposed to be thinking about Eren _kissing_, or anyone else kissing for that matter. In fact, he’s been actively trying to _avoid _thinking about that.

But, _ no_. Of _course _not. He just _had _to walk in on Ymir trying to kiss Christa. He just _had _to notice that fucking mistletoe.

He sighs in defeat. _ Yeah, okay, fine. I’ll do it. _

Armin leaves a little poorer than when he arrived, and Ymir a little richer.

\---

He should’ve known that his day _off _from helping Eren would involve spending most of it, well… helping Eren.

He’d abandoned his book in favor of getting some food, hoping that by the time he’s finished eating, his spot by the fire will be empty. 

There are only a few people in the mess hall when he gets there, including two people who usually leave for the holiday. Something about this strikes Armin as funny, but he doesn’t understand where that feeling is coming from. The back of his mind itches like there’s something he’s forgetting. Something important.

Not until he overhears Sasha telling Connie about how she can’t wait to go home and go hunting with her father and how she plans on eating an entire wild boar all by herself. Connie jokes that she probably won’t even cook it; she’ll just eat it raw. That’s when it hits him: he forgot about the food. 

“I wouldn’t sit there if I were you,” Connie says just as Armin’s about to sit down at the table next to Sasha, who waved him over to join them.

“Dare I ask why?” Armin doesn’t see anything amiss. Everything smells normal, too.

“Sasha’s been thinking about food, and you don’t have a towel.” 

Sasha scoffs at the implication, but she still wipes her mouth on the back of her hand to be sure. 

“You’re good,” she says when her hand comes back (mostly) dry and pats the space next to her on the bench, “have a seat.”

“Don’t you usually go home to visit your family for the holiday?” Armin asks Sasha, thinking it impolite to open with immediately asking for a favor.

“Mmm-hm! We were just talking about that. I’m going to eat meat,” she says, and Armin scoots over a bit as a precautionary measure. 

“Sure you don’t want me to get you a towel?” When Armin holds up his hand and shakes his head, Connie shrugs. “Alright, it’s your choice, man. Just don’t expect me to dive in and save you from drowning.”

“Connie’s going home, too.” Sasha crosses her arms and turns her head in a huff, side-eyeing Connie after only a few seconds of giving him the cold shoulder. 

“When are you leaving?” Armin interrupts before any more time is wasted watching them either flirt or fight. He can’t tell which it is. After all that insistence that he’s not interested in speculating on other people’s proclivities, here he is, doing just that. She doesn’t act like that when she’s with Mikasa. _ Are Sasha and Connie… Okay, not important. You already have more than enough relationships to think about, and there’s only one. _

“The day after tomorrow. But don’t worry, I’ll stay and eat chestnuts with you!” Sasha looks at Armin expectantly, seemingly waiting for him to quit holding out on her and empty his pockets of all the chestnuts he’s hiding in there. “Can we do that now?”

“Oh, uh. Actually, I think we should wait for Eren. He’ll be disappointed if he found out we roasted chestnuts without him.” Sasha seems to agree with his reasoning. “Speaking of Eren, do you think you could help him out with something before you leave? There’ll be food involved.”

Sasha agrees without hesitation, not even waiting for Armin to explain what it is she’s agreeing to. As long as there’s the promise of food, she’d probably agree to just about anything. Getting her to agree wasn’t the hard part. It was trying to talk her out of going to look for Eren that gave him the most difficulty. The only thing that convinced her was telling her that Eren wasn’t here.

It was only a little white lie, no harm done. There’d be more harm done if he didn’t tell a tiny fib like he did. Eren hadn’t actually gone anywhere, but he _was _busy. Probably will be for the rest of the night, too.

Now Armin can truly relax. The end is in sight. There's not much left to do, and nothing more he can do tonight besides lock himself in his room with his book and pray to Maria, Rose, _and_ Sina that Humanity's Strongest has enough stamina to keep the titan occupied until tomorrow. Preferably until after he's had his breakfast. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know who could have made better bread? Your mom! Too bad she was eaten by a Titan.
> 
> If I grew up to be a pompous ass like you I'd wish my mom was dead so she wouldn't have to see me!
> 
> Excellent comeback there, Jaeger-bombastic. How would you follow suit, Jeanny boy?
> 
> Uh, oh. Um...I think I was gonna loop back to something about...bread?
> 
> Well. That may just work, actually. But you know what might work better? Going to fuck to sleep!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, where exactly was Eren on Armin's day off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Arlert._
> 
> Here!
> 
> _Braus. Braus._
> 
> Here!
> 
> _Jaeger. Jaeger. Jaeger. Jaeger. Jaeger._

He’s not caught by surprise this year. Levi’s ready. He’s been ready. He’s determined to make this winter better for Eren, and he’s made a list of things to try. He has a plan, and now it’s just a matter of putting that plan into action.

The problem is that he didn’t plan on not getting a chance to do it; Eren’s never disappeared like this before. Eren’s been absent so much that he hardly gets to spend any time at all with him, but he’s been doing the best he can with what little time they have together.

He makes extra oatmeal for Eren at breakfast, which is the only time he can reliably count on seeing Eren as of late. Eren seems to appreciate that, but maybe he’s been making too much because Eren has a hard time finishing it.

Breakfast. That’s what gives him the idea. Eren’s missed dinner most nights, but he hasn’t missed breakfast yet. He knows he’ll be there. That’s his chance. 

He wastes no time. The minute Eren swallowed his last spoonful of oatmeal at breakfast this morning, he snatched that boy up and took off before anyone could even _think _about getting their hands on him. No one’s taking him away from him again. Not today, not ever.

Operation Spoil the Brat, phase one: complete. Mission successful. Brat secured.

He finally got Eren alone. At first, Eren started to protest, said he had more errands to run this afternoon, but he shut that down right away. Eren changed his mind about his errands once Levi got his tongue down his throat. Levi was careful not to coerce him into staying, but after kissing him stupid, Eren made it very clear that his compliance was voluntary.

Good. Now to prepare for the next phase.

It’s easy to see that Eren is worn out. He’s tense with stress and exhausted from the effort of trying to hold back his emotions. Something’s been causing him to be more cheerful and energetic lately, but whatever it is isn’t enough to permanently maintain that state. Strangely, Eren refuses to tell him what it is, so until he can figure it out on his own, Levi will just have to go with what he knows.

Eren likes physical affection and hasn’t been getting enough since his mysterious disappearances began. This one’s easy to fix. Normally he’d _affectionately _physically relax him by fucking him until he forgets his name. If once wasn’t enough to do the job, he’d flip them over and let Eren have a go at him, repeating the process until Eren either passed out cold or couldn’t get it up anymore. Very efficient.

However, it’s a bit too early for that this time around, and it’s not the mission’s ultimate objective. This situation is different; it’s more delicate than usual. He needs to warm Eren up first. Take extra care of him, baby him a little, be sweet with him, do something comforting with his hands before he even _thinks _about comforting him with his dick.

Therefore, phase two is soothing his body, soothing his heart. For the body, he’s going to give Eren a massage. That’s why the oil is on his nightstand, warm and at the ready with another bottle waiting in the drawer… you know, just in case he wants another massage later on.

That first part– the physical part– is easy. It’s the other part he’s not so confident about, second-guessing his ability to do it in the way he has in mind. 

He’s been taking notes for months, carefully observing Eren to determine what he seems to like and dislike, what makes him smile, what he likes to do with his friends, what foods he looks like he enjoys the most, and so on.

The most obvious one is something he can give Eren easily, and it would always be genuine and sincere. Levi knows he’s not fantastic at expressing himself, but even the simplest of words from him were always enough to satisfy Eren. He didn’t need much practice for this.

Praise.

Eren loves to be praised. What’s more, it’s only Levi’s praise that has a dramatic effect on him. He saw from day one, from that very first _not bad,_ that Eren craved his praise and approval. He’s been praising Eren every chance he gets, and now that he has Eren all to himself today, he’s going to drown him in it.

Time to get him in bed.

Phase two: start.

At first, Eren is confused.

Levi laid him down on his bed, slowly undressed him, and reached for the oil. Levi instructed him to lie face-down, and when what Eren was anticipating didn’t happen, he couldn’t understand why.

“Aren’t you going to get undressed?” Eren asked when he looked over his shoulder and discovered Levi fully clothed.

“Yes,” Levi replied and rolled his sleeves up to the elbow.

“Are we having sex?” Eren asked when he felt Levi’s clothed ass sit on his thighs and his warm, oil-coated fingers trail down and rub circles with his thumbs in the dimples on his lower back, but no lower than that.

“Yes,” Levi replies, and then the heels of his palms press firmly into Eren’s back, starting from the dimples of his lower obliques and slowly slide up to his shoulders.

Levi’s thumbs dig into Eren’s stiff trapezius muscles, and the tension immediately loosens. Eren groans in pleasure as Levi begins to knead out the knots there.

But then his shoulders stiffen again suddenly, and Eren quickly looks over his shoulder to see Levi focused on his own hands as they continue to work. He opens his mouth to protest, just as Levi predicted. 

“Do you enjoy this?” Levi asks, interrupting Eren’s anticipated objection before it can leave his mouth._ I’ll fuss over you if I damn well please. _

“Yeah, but… you’re busy, don’t you have other things to do? You don’t have to spend time doing this before we–"

“Then relax and let me take care of you.” Levi ignores Eren’s stupid but flattering selflessness. Instead of arguing, he gently coaxes Eren’s head back down so he can slide his thumbs up the back of Eren’s neck, pushing into the pressure points at the base of his skull. Eren sighs, then relaxes. _ Good. _ “Does it hurt anywhere?”

Eren makes a muffled sound into the pillow and shakes his head no. His body is already starting to melt under Levi’s strong, skilled hands.

“Are you cold?” he asks, squeezing Eren’s deltoids before moving down to do the same on his biceps. “Want me to put the blanket over you?”

Levi prepared everything the night before, right down to the last detail. He lit the fireplace before going down to breakfast. Filled a basket with something for them to eat, enough for two whole meals. Procured extra pillows and blankets and towels. Two bottles of oil were purchased: one lavender-infused for his skin, one plain for... elsewhere. Anything less than a warm, comfortable, relaxed, well-fed brat is completely unacceptable.

Eren nods, and Levi gets to work on his lower back, putting his weight into it, spreading his hands outward, pressing and squeezing his hips and obliques, where he knows Eren is always sore even if he refuses to admit it. Eren moans, and Levi loves the way he can see Eren’s eyelids scrunch closed before they relax entirely, and how he’s breathing deeply from his parted lips.

Admiring Eren reminds him of what he intended to do but hasn’t yet begun. Levi closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Even if he embarrasses himself, he has to try for Eren. He clears his throat. _ Here goes nothing. _

“You’re very beautiful, Eren,” Levi whispers, starting with the easy one to build his confidence enough to move on to the ones that were harder for him to put into words. Until then, he relies on what’s in front of him for guidance.

Eren makes a curious sound and begins to lift his head, but Levi coaxes him back down with a gentle hand.

“Shh, just relax.” Levi is silent again while he makes another pass of Eren’s back, alighting upon every muscle, formulating his thoughts. They feel too big for words.

“All of you is perfect, but–” Eren jolts when Levi suddenly puts his hands on his ass. “This,” Levi says, squeezing with both hands for emphasis, “is a work of fucking _ art_.” Levi allows himself to appreciate the sight of himself kneading deep into the muscles. 

He marvels over how plush and firm Eren’s ass is, watching his fingers indent the flesh, spreading his cheeks apart to admire. How is it even possible for an asshole to be this beautiful? It’s fucking exquisite. They could write epic poems about that thing, sing hymns, fuck; they should name a wall after it. 

Levi’s intensive musing over Eren’s backdoor masterpiece prevents him from noticing how aroused he’s getting until his pants suddenly shrink three sizes. He picks up on the sound of Eren’s breathing, and it’s just as quick and heavy as his own. _ Shit, it’s not time for that yet. I am really bad at this. _

“You’re so strong. I can see how strong you are just by looking at you.” Levi hopes Eren’s eyes are still closed when he leans forward to check Eren’s expression. He doesn’t look _too _horny, _or _like he’s about to laugh, that’s a good sign. “But looking at you doesn’t tell the half of it. You’re so much stronger than you look.”

“I’m not that strong,” Eren mumbles, “I’m nowhere near as strong as you.”

“Bullshit.” 

“But…”

“The first time you picked me up, I considered kicking your ass. You know how much shit I would’ve gotten if everyone saw Humanity’s Strongest being swept off his feet like a virgin bride by some scrawny little doe-eyed brat?” _ I loved it, though. _

“Hey!” Eren lifts his head and turns to glare at Levi with mock-hurt. “Scrawny? You just said I looked strong! And need I remind you that you _ were–"_

“Shut it. I’m not done.” _ I just cursed at him, threatened him with violence, and told him to shut up. Nice, real romantic. _

He braces himself and leans forward to press his lips between Eren’s shoulder blades, mindful to avoid contact with the oil. He frowns, which thankfully Eren can’t see because he closed his eyes and smiled when Levi kissed him. _ Hm. Would it be too suggestive if I took off just my shirt? Oil’s a bitch to get out. Shit, I bet I’m single-handedly keeping the linen vendors in business with how many sets of sheets I’ve had to replace. _

To distract Eren from what he’s doing, he continues to praise him.

“It’s more than just physical strength.” Levi swallows. He’s about to cross over into emotional territory. He’s not sure he’s truly prepared, but after all the thought he’s given it, he supposes he’s as ready as he’ll ever be. “Turn over. I want to look at you.”

Levi’s struck dumb by Eren’s beautiful eyes staring up at him in surprise upon discovering he’d removed his shirt. Even with all his scars, Eren always looks at him like he’s something worth looking at. Levi stares into the odd, otherworldly green of them in awe, unable to speak, his heart clenching in his chest.

He reaches out, strokes Eren’s face with his thumbs, just shy of actually touching his eyes, and Eren inhales in response to the intensity in Levi’s expression. Levi closes his eyes, gathers himself, and exhales. He flattens his hand on Eren’s breastbone.

“Your strength is here. There’s a fire inside you like I’ve never seen before. You can see it in your eyes.” Levi shivers. Those fiery eyes are glued on him, and they always are, and they always have been. “I’ve never met someone as brave and determined as you. Even with all the shit you’ve been through, it never goes away. It’s terrifying.”

Eren looks amazed and a little confused. Levi has to look away before he either chickens out or his heart explodes. He takes Eren’s hand, but the way Eren cups his cheek has _him _sighing. He keeps his eyes shut while nuzzling Eren’s palm, in which he detects a small tremor that he soothes away by massaging the meat of this thumb. Eyes closed, Levi presses his lips there, and it’s a long time before he breaks the kiss. With his lips still on Eren’s skin, he continues.

“When you do this,” his voice is low and unsteady as he whispers against the base of Eren’s thumb, making his meaning clear with another kiss to it, “it terrifies me. No matter how many times I’ve seen you do it, I’m always so fucking scared...” 

Levi’s throat tightens, and he has to stop and swallow down the painful lump lodged there. If he takes too long to finish his sentence, Eren’s going to think he’s afraid of the wrong thing. Eren’s never stopped believing that, and he’s so wrong. Even though he knows how his voice is going to sound, he speaks anyway.

“...that you’re not going to come back. That you’re going to get stuck in there forever.” He’s trembling and, against his instinct, lets it show. Eren’s the only one he bares himself to, and he needs Eren to understand that.

“Levi,” Eren breathes, and only now does Levi dare to open his eyes again.

“Eren… Are you crying?” Levi’s heart drops into his stomach. “I’m sorry. I upset you. Shit. Fuck.”

Eren smiles and shakes his head, and when he blinks, a tear falls from his lashes. His eyes are shining and wet, yet there is no sorrow to be seen in them. “I never knew that.”

“It’s true. I’m afraid every time we go into battle, and every time I can’t be there to protect you.” _ And every time you leave, too. _ “You’re so fucking _reckless. _Like you don’t care what happens to you. You always seem to think it’s no big deal when you get hurt because you can heal yourself, but…” 

Levi inhales sharply, praying that his voice won’t crack. “I hate it. I hate seeing you get hurt. I hate seeing you covered in blood and that fucking steam. And then the thought of losing you… _ fuck.” _ He knew that was going to happen. He _knew _his fucking voice would crack. Levi turns his face away and calms himself. Eren is right here. He’s not going anywhere. 

“Levi,” Eren begs, placing his shaking hand upon Levi’s jaw, overcome with emotion and desperately in need. “Please?”

Levi acquiesces and is dragged down for a kiss. He can’t do it for long. There’s something trying to escape, and he can’t contain it. It’s too strong to hold back and suddenly comes crashing out of his mouth.

“I love you so much.” Eren returns the sentiment, and Levi rests his forehead on Eren’s and allows Eren to comfort him just this once. He craves this like Eren craves his praise, but his needs are irrelevant right now. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m happy, but…” Eren’s _but_ makes Levi feel uneasy, especially with how long it takes Eren to finish his sentence. He’s not looking at him anymore. He’s chewing his lip, knitting his brows, looking conflicted. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” _Is something bad going to happen?_ _Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?_

“Is it so hard to believe that I just want to dote on you for a while?” _ Oh, that’s a relief. He’s not upset. He’s probably going to complain about me fussing over him again, but he’s gonna get fussed the fuck over even more so long as he doesn’t actually tell me to stop. This isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I’ve even still got more in me. _

“No, but you don’t need to be doing all this. You already have en–” Eren’s eyes widen in surprise for a second when Levi pinches his lips together with his fingers. Eren tries to scowl, but he’s dangerously close to losing his edge by laughing.

“No. You shut the fuck up. I’m having none of that. I’m spoiling you whether you think I should or not. Now, can I continue, or do you plan on keeping up this self-sacrificing chivalrous bullshit?” _ Shit, I’m doing it again. Goddammit, I knew this would fail spectacularly. _

Levi’s busy self-flagellating over his failure to romance Eren, so Eren’s amusement goes unnoticed until Eren starts shaking underneath him. Afraid that he’s made Eren cry, but in a bad way this time, he looks at him, ashamed. Eren isn’t crying; he’s cracking up. He’s shaking because he’s trying to hold back his laughter. Levi groans and ruffles Eren’s hair. 

“Yes or no, Eren. I’m nowhere near finished.”

“I mean,” Eren blushes and tries not to seem too eager, but this is the shit his dreams are made of. Of course he wants more. “If you still have more to say, I suppose it would be rude of me not to let you finish.”

“You little shit,” Levi chuckles. He teases Eren with a kiss, slipping his tongue in for the briefest moment before quickly pulling away. Eren, unsatisfied, tries to chase Levi’s lips but whines when Levi holds him at arm's length. “Now, where did I leave off?”

“I think you left off at the part where you love me and want to dote on me and spoil me?” Eren says with a hopeful expression, barely concealing his eagerness for more of Levi’s praise.

“Mm. That’s right. You’re brave and strong and beautiful.” Levi begins to massage Eren’s hand, and that’s where he keeps his eyes to avoid looking at him. Even then, he can tell Eren is staring and grinning and blushing. He pushes aside the knowledge of what else the praise is going to do to Eren soon. He needs to focus. 

“I love how freakishly warm you are. Your skin feels good on mine. Your body is…” _ Good? Great? I already said beautiful and strong. Just look at him, he’s perfect, but there’s more to him than how he looks. _

Eren looks like he’s about to explode. Levi’s still admiring, which makes him say the first thing that comes to mind and isn’t about his appearance.

“It makes me feel good.” _ Shit. I guess phase three is starting early. _But there’s something Eren needs to know before that happens. “But you’re more to me than your body.” 

Eren is so, _ so _much more than his body, and Levi means it. He barely thought about Eren’s body when he was compiling his mental list of things he loves about him. Not that he didn’t think about it, but come on. Have you seen him? Thinking about it is a given.

Eren shivers. Levi determinedly avoids looking down. 

“I love your eyes. I love your face. I don’t think there’s anything I love more than seeing you smile. When the first thing I see when I return is you waiting for me with that fucking smile on your face, I can hardly believe how lucky I am. There’s nothing better than coming home to you.” _ Fuck, that was a bit more than I intended. It’s too soon to be saying shit like that to him. _

“Levi,” Eren whines, suddenly shy about the relentless onslaught of praise. He’s sure his face is bright red, how embarrassing.

The way Eren squirms tells Levi all he needs to know. He’s ready, Eren’s ready, and it’s not like he has to stop praising Eren once they get going. If anything, he should praise him even more for the privilege.

“Eren. Look at me. Do you want to know how much I love you?” Levi already decided on this a while ago.

There’s one sexual avenue they haven’t yet explored. If he failed to express his love and devotion for Eren verbally, the way he’s going to do it physically would leave absolutely no room for doubt.

“Yes,” Eren answers, breathy and begging with his eyes, past the point of trying to conceal his eagerness. “Tell me.”

“I’ll show you.” Levi, resolute and still clothed from the waist down, gets off Eren’s thighs. Eren watches him, curious.

Once he’s in position at Eren’s feet, he looks him straight in the eye. Unlike Eren, who is holding his breath in anticipation, Levi is breathing heavily. He grabs Eren by the ankles, and Eren’s eyes close when Levi pushes his knees back to his chest and spreads them apart. Levi’s gaze is drawn between Eren’s spread legs, admiring what’s on display for him. He feels beyond honored that Eren has _chosen _to share his body with him. 

Levi’s been still for so long that Eren looks up at him, wondering what’s taking so long. Levi can look all he wants, but he hopes he’ll hurry it up because he’s desperate for him, aching to be filled.

Levi shuffles closer, hands sliding up the backs of Eren’s thighs, watching goosebumps form all along his legs. He pushes them so far forward that Eren’s tailbone lifts off the bed. Eren’s a little shy about being so exposed, and he’s growing needier by the second.

Levi’s eyes flit up and stare into Eren’s, and they never break contact as he leans forward, closer and closer, dipping down until his face is half-hidden between his legs. Eren feels Levi’s hot breath on him, and his heart races.

Eren was not expecting what came next. _ Ever. _ It looked like Levi intended to lick his balls, but that’s _not _what happened.

“Fuck!” Eren’s entire body jolts when he shouts, and his instinct is to close his legs. Levi feels the twitch in Eren’s thighs and loosens his grip on them so Eren can do so if he needs to. This_ is _new, and he had kinda sprung it on him without warning, so…

He lifts his head, intending to ask Eren if he’s okay, but Eren cuts him off just as he’s opening his mouth to do so.

“Did you just lick my asshole?!” Eren slurs, panting, wide-eyed, and frantic.

Levi notes that Eren hasn’t closed his legs, nor has he told him to stop. “Uh-huh,” he hums while dragging his tongue slowly over it a second time. Eren’s keening moan makes him want to do it again. 

“Levi, _ ah, fu _ – I can’t believe – _ Ah, _ are you seriously…?” Eren’s head falls back onto the pillow, and he presses his palm to his forehead, incredulous, stunned, and really, _ really _fucking turned on. Levi answers Eren’s disjointed question with his tongue, earning him another beautiful moan.

“And this… this is,” Eren pants, trying to make sense of what has just and is currently still transpiring. “This is, _ ah,_ you showing me how much…”

“Does this not speak for itself?” Levi muses aloud. Having found it necessary to remove his tongue to form actual words, he immediately replaces it with his fingers, tracing Eren’s spit-slick hole, unwilling to deprive Eren of a single second of stimulation. 

“Feel good?” he asks, smiling because Eren looks so fucking adorable when he’s flustered like this, and especially so when Eren frantically nods his head yes. “More?” Another yes. 

He kisses Eren’s inner thigh with love and affection, and the instant his lips leave that soft, smooth skin, he pushes those thighs apart as far as he can and absolutely goes to fucking _town _on him.

Eren can hardly get a breath in between moans, and Eren’s thighs are seizing and jerking so hard that Levi may be in imminent danger of having his head crushed between them like a walnut. He is painfully, blissfully, triumphantly aware of how strong those delicious thighs are, as his hips and ribs will attest on any given occasion.

And fuck, Levi never knew that just _doing _something to Eren without even being touched could feel so amazing. It’s so good that it almost feels like he _is, _ and this particular act has turned out to be so fucking erotic that he might be even more turned on than Eren right now. Never, ever, in all his years did he think he’d be doing something like this, and willingly. He’s been missing out, apparently, and from the looks of it, he’s been depriving Eren of something he never knew he could give him.

Though it was not his intention when deciding to remain clothed for this, the added protection of keeping his pants on makes him very glad he resisted the temptation to jump right out of them the second he got Eren into bed.

With his pants still on, he can hide it from Eren if he ends up coming while doing this, which at the moment seems like a distinct possibility. If he can keep him distracted, that is. It’ll be a disaster if he finds out. Eren’s _already _obnoxiously smug every time he makes him come in his pants, which is far too often for his tastes. Imagine how bad it’ll be if he finds out he made him come in his pants without even _touching _him. He shouldn’t be able to notice that happening if he’s too busy thinking about something being in his ass, or, best-case scenario, temporarily blacking out from the intensity of the orgasm that his current state hints is going to be spectacular.

Levi is, to his great astonishment, spared that humiliation. He hasn’t been keeping track of time, but it doesn’t feel like more than two minutes could have passed since he started. And what’s more mind-blowing is that he hadn’t even _touched _ Eren’s cock yet, not even once. 

Despite his disbelief, there it is, the proof, right in front of him. Eren is coming. 

This he wants to see. No, correction, _ needs _to see. Watching Eren climax is one of the best things about having sex with him and a significant factor in his predilection for wanting to stick it in him and not vice versa. Well, that and that it’s hard not to want to when his ass feels that fucking amazing, especially while he’s inside him when he comes. The only reason he doesn’t insist on doing it that way every time is that having Eren’s cock in him feels equally amazing, and the next best thing to watching him come is feeling him come. However, it’s only Eren who enjoys the feeling of what inevitably happens _after _that.

Eren’s face. Oh, god, Eren’s _face. _Sweaty and contorted with his mouth wide open and bottom lip trembling, and then the doped-up smile that’s going to follow once he’s done. Seeing him shoot all over himself, especially the times he comes so hard that he gets some on his chin or cheek or hair, and once all the way on the wall behind him. The way his stomach convulses and his legs twitch, how he holds his breath just before and moans when it hits, sometimes just a little whine or gasp, sometimes a shout so loud he’s worried that everyone within Wall Rose heard him announce what they’d just done.

With his face red and his cheeks and chin shiny with saliva, Levi thinks to himself how much he’d like to keep Eren in a constant state of orgasm. Except… Eren might die if that happened, so the better plan is to just constantly give him orgasms, with a few hours to eat and sleep in between. 

Eren is still trying to catch his breath. His voice hasn’t quite regained its full strength, so he slurs and mumbles when he tries to talk. Normally the first thing he’d do is praise Levi or swear or whine about Levi wasting time wiping the jizz off everything when they could be cuddling. This time he’s sleepily questioning Levi about the fingers up his ass.

“Lee, what th’fuck,” Eren slurs drunkenly, feeling as relaxed and confused as if he was, “juss put it in, why y'wasting time, I hav’n needed that since…” He pauses, searching his addled brain for an answer. “Ever.” He moans despite his complaint.

“I’m not wasting time,” Levi says thoughtfully, fascinated by his oiled fingers disappearing into Eren’s body while he gropes around for something in there with his fingertips.

“’m already– ah!” A yelp abruptly cuts off Eren’s complaining, and his drowsy eyes pop open in surprise. He can barely hear Levi quietly chuckling to himself over the sound of his own voice.

“I’m giving you another,” he explains.

Levi recalls that the first time he did this to Eren, he was worried he wouldn’t be able to reach it. His hands aren’t abnormal; they’re proportional to the rest of him: small. But he did, and Eren screamed, and it’s all been downhill from there (for Eren, that is). He’s gotten good at this. _ Very _good.

Now that he’s found it, he’ll stop at nothing to get Eren screaming again. Well, he’ll stop at one thing, but Eren hasn’t told him to yet, so… 

It’s already swollen from Eren being so aroused, and that only makes it easier for Levi to stay on target. Every relentless stroke and push against it has Eren trembling, and the intensity of the sensation reduces Eren to gasping for air instead of moaning. Now is the perfect time to continue showering Eren with praise. 

“You feel so good in here,” Levi says softly, no hint of cockiness or anything other than sincerity to be found in his voice, “I love touching you here. I love being inside you. I love that you let me be with you like this, trusting me with your body. I can’t believe I have the privilege. But I promise you, I’ll…” Levi feels himself getting choked up; the physical observations turned emotional again and with startling speed and ease. 

“I’ll take care of you. All of you, not just your body.” Levi admires the vulnerable body in front of him. You’d never know how much damage has been done to it just by looking at it, but he does. It makes him have to close his eyes and breathe deeply. This boy is a treasure.

While admiring him, Levi begins to notice that Eren isn’t trembling as much, and his breathing has become more regular. It’s then that he realizes that, one, he’s just sitting there with his fingers up Eren’s ass, not doing anything but staring, and two, Eren’s looking at him now.

“Want me to stop?” Levi isn’t sure what Eren is feeling right now. There’s a strange mix of emotions on his face, and he can’t understand anything besides the glassy look in Eren’s eyes. That looks like tears. 

Eren gives him a small smile and a shake of the head, biting his bottom lip and gazing at him expectantly. He doesn’t look sad at all, even though he’s clearly teary-eyed. “Don’t stop,” he whispers, and Levi doesn’t know which Eren is referring to, but it doesn’t matter. He’ll give Eren both.

“I’m going to protect you, Eren. You have my word.” The next time he curls his fingers and presses against the gland inside Eren, it’s firmer than before. It still gives under the pressure of his fingertips, but this time it makes Eren’s entire body jump when he does it. He did just promise to take care of him, so… Pretty sure this counts.

Levi continues to utter words of praise while he works Eren with his fingers, but he can’t tell if Eren can even hear them right now, so he decides to use this time for practice. Maybe Eren can hear what he’s saying, and he likes it, or maybe he can’t, and Levi can gauge how embarrassing each thing sounds after it leaves his mouth. 

Either way, he doesn’t mean every _ I love you _or _you’re fucking gorgeous _any less just because he’s continually looking away from Eren’s face to look at his cock instead. It’s not even fully erect again, but it’s leaking so much that it looks like he’s still coming from before, just… very slowly. But that’s no good. He wants him to come quickly. The sooner he comes, the sooner he can make him come again—time to put some muscle behind it.

Levi’s fingers are nearly still now; the only movement they make is to ease up on the pressure just enough to push back down again. You’d think the wall titans were breaking out with the way Eren is trembling and shaking on the mattress. His thighs keep jerking wildly; he’s squeezing his eyes shut, biting his lip, and white-knuckling the sheets. Levi presses hard and doesn’t ease up, and a few seconds later, Eren’s _screaming _and apparently trying to cut his fingers off with his asshole. _ Worth it. _

Eren’s entire world shatters when he comes, and Levi watches it happen.

The immense pressure in Eren’s pelvis reached a peak, and the instant it becomes just shy of unbearable, it erupts into rolling waves of euphoria that shake his entire body. He feels like his brain is exploding into millions of shimmering fragments that fall onto his body like embers, and he feels like he’s coming for hours on end, not even aware that nothing’s coming out of him. Even after his senses return to him, he can still feel it reverberating through his body. 

“You okay there, brat?” 

“Mmfff–uuuuuuck,” he slurs, and he could’ve sworn he was forming actual words in his mouth, but, strangely, that’s not what came out. He can’t even open his eyes to see if Levi understood his unintentionally garbled answer. Levi chuckling assures him that he had.

Levi lies down beside Eren and props himself up on his elbow to watch him. Two orgasms already, and it’s not even time for lunch yet. 

Nice.

He strokes and nuzzles and whispers to Eren while he recovers, knowing he’s going to be here doing that for quite a while. It’s a little difficult to ignore his cock trying to rip a hole in the front of his pants, but he’ll manage. While he’s lazily running his fingers up and down Eren’s (extremely sloppy) belly, Eren starts to mumble. His eyes are closed, and he’s barely moving, so he presumes Eren is talking in his sleep, though none of the noises he made sounded anything like the familiar _titan _or _kill _or _oh, Levi, yes! _But then Eren repeats himself.

“You can put it in now,” is what Eren was trying to say before, but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything in his ass right now, so maybe Levi didn’t hear him the first time.

“What?” Levi gasps, both in disbelief and tremendous amusement.

“Pu’cher cock n’me, wanna fuck now,” Eren clarifies, trying very hard to raise his eyelids, which seem to be far heavier than he recalls them being.

“You can’t be serious,” Levi says, gaping at Eren, seconds away from full-on laughter. “You can’t even move.”

“Ssso? Thasshh yer job.” Eren’s body is still pretty numb, but not too numb to miss the steel rod jabbing him in the hip. “Fuck, are _ you _ okay?” Eren flops his arm away from his forehead and gropes around until he accidentally slaps Levi’s dick.

Levi flinches and hisses, and when he looks back up, Eren has a crooked smile on his slack face.

“‘F you don’t do somethin’ 'bout that soon, ‘s gonna fall off.” Eren pats it (gently) in apology.

“Are you sure you’re even up for it?” Levi asks, wide-eyed and astounded at the display of what is either Eren’s unbreakable determination or his insatiable libido, or quite possibly both, with a side of stupidity. 

Eren cracks his eyes open and looks down. “S’not up. Bu’chu are.” He pokes Levi in the dick to remind him, though Levi is already _painfully _aware of this fact. “C’mon.”

“You have no sense of self-preservation,” Levi marvels, but if Eren is conscious and offering, well… He _can _regenerate his body parts, so as long as it doesn’t hurt him... 

“You better hurry up ‘f y'want me t’be awake for this.” Eren feels warm and floaty and blissful, so he can only imagine how good it’s going to feel if he’s already like this. He’s so ready for it. He spreads his legs in invitation, or rather, he tried to. For some reason, he finds this incredibly hilarious. “Heh, Levi, I can’t feel my legs.”

Eren giggles like a damn idiot, and Levi cannot believe that this adorable dumbass is the same person as the bloodthirsty, screaming, hard-headed murder machine by the same name. Kinda makes him want to fuck him more, even after realizing how weird that sounds.

“Then how do you want to do it? Want me to put your legs over my shoulders?” Eren’s as floppy as a ragdoll right now. Levi knows he’s going to have to support his weight in whatever position they choose, so Eren’s comfort is his only concern.

Levi watches Eren trying to push himself up on his side, intending to roll over, but Eren wobbles from the unsteady softness of the mattress under him and flops face-down onto the pillow instead. The next thing he sees is Eren sliding his torso backward like an inchworm, and the movement concludes with Eren pressing his shoulders into the mattress with his ass in the air, _ presenting _himself.

After some impatient wiggling and whining from Eren, Levi is finally nude, sufficiently lubricated, and sliding in. 

Levi’s only halfway in when Eren startles the shit out of him by suddenly springing back to life and squeezing the fuck out of his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, ah, ah, Lee, fuck!” Eren is totally awake and alert now and not from Levi digging his nails into his hips.

“Shit, are you okay??” Levi panics, unsure if pulling out would make whatever is causing Eren pain worse or better.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Eren pants, trying to squeeze the stars out of his eyes, “I’m just really sensitive, wow, holy fuck, I was _ not _expecting that.” 

“So… Do I stop? Tell me what you want.” _ I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. At least he stopped cutting off circulation to my dick. Second time I’ve almost lost it today. _

“Fuck no, keep going. You have my permission to finish if I pass out.” Eren sways his hips in encouragement, flinching when Levi’s cock moves inside him. Even though his own is still flaccid, he’s almost certain he felt something come out of it. No way. 

With Eren’s encouragement, Levi bends over Eren’s back, kisses him there, wraps an arm around his middle to support him, and slides himself all the way in. Eren’s panting hard, so Levi’s hips remain stationary, but his free hand rubs soothingly up and down Eren’s side. Eren whines and wiggles his ass. Yeah, he’s fine. When he finally starts moving inside him, he again showers him with praise, smoothing loving, grateful hands all over his body. 

Levi, out of consideration for Eren, fucks him as gently as possible while also trying to finish as quickly as possible. Eren screaming his lungs out greatly increases the difficulty of the former but is very effective at helping him achieve the latter. 

Before he knows it, he’s already there, and as an additional courtesy, he pulls out.

“Noooo,” Eren whines drowsily with his face smashed into the pillow. His hand reaches out blindly behind him, flailing about to find something of Levi to grab on to. “Put it baaaack.”

“Eren,” Levi pants admonishingly, “you know it’s going to–”

“Gimme.” Eren considers for a moment before tacking on thoughtfully, “Please?”

Levi grumbles a bit, but he’s more amused than anything. Since he asked so nicely, he thrusts a few more times and gives his spoiled brat what he wants. He chokes on a moan and trembles while he comes inside Eren, and Eren makes a weird garbled-but-positive-sounding noise. Levi tries not to put too much weight on Eren and supports him the best he can when he collapses, draping himself over Eren’s sweaty back to give himself a few seconds to ride it out.

Eren sighs and hums contentedly. Levi kisses his spine.

“I love you, Eren,” Levi says just before peeling himself off of Eren and carefully pulling his softening cock out of him, sighing when he sees the trickle of semen that follows. He was _trying _to be considerate, but hey, Eren got what he wanted; he can still do him the courtesy, so he pushes two fingers back into Eren’s ass.

Eren immediately jolts and gives a little yelp when Levi’s fingers crook inside him. Levi didn’t hit him _there_, but that’s beside the point. _ Is he really…? _

“Maria, fuck, Levi! Are you trying to break my record or something?!” 

“Shh, shh. I’m just–” Levi hushes him calmly, but Eren seems to have realized what he’s doing just as he’s about to explain.

“Nooo, it’s mine!” Eren whines, wiggling his ass in an attempt to ward off Levi’s thieving fingers.

“Pretty sure it’s mine, Eren.” He says sarcastically but removes his fingers anyway. More trickles out when he does, and he watches it drip down Eren’s balls and onto the bed. He sighs in acceptance and decides he might as well wipe his fingers in the sheets since they’re already dirtier than he planned on them being this early on. He doesn’t care about getting jizz all over the sheets unless it’s jizz mixed with oil that came out of one (or both) of their assholes.

“Yay,” Eren cheers weakly into the pillow, satisfied. 

_ Is it weird that I’m kind of flattered? _ Levi thinks to himself as he lies down on his side of the bed and pulls Eren to him. Eren’s content, sleepy grin is precisely what he wanted to see, and he’s going to do everything in his power to keep him that way. He kisses Eren’s shoulder as Eren snuggles up close to him, and this allows him to see the side of the bed that Eren just vacated. _ Whoa. Damn. _

“Did you come again?” Levi didn’t think Eren _could _by that point. If he’d have known it was a possibility, he would have offered him a reach-around. He curses himself for his selfishness and not paying better attention. 

“I dunno, I don’t think I actually stopped coming after the last one.” Eren shrugs and yawns, resting his head on Levi’s shoulder, briefly wondering if he just reached his lifetime quota for orgasms but too tired to remember if that’s even a thing. His next yawn is a bigger one, and he fights it off because he needs to tell Levi _now_, immediately, right this very second, it can’t wait. “I lo–” His mouth is wide open and unable to form words; the yawn has gotten its revenge for being snubbed. “Love you.”

Levi slips away once Eren’s out cold. He’s dead to the world; he doesn’t so much as flinch while Levi maneuvers his floppy limbs every which way to clean him off with a wet cloth. He’s tired too, but he gets things ready for when Eren wakes up before he joins him for a nap.

Levi’s the one who wakes Eren up because his stomach woke _him _up. If he’s this hungry, he’s sure Eren’s going to be starving when he wakes up. 

Levi had already set the food out on the table, so while Eren uses the bathroom, Levi stokes the fire, starts a fresh pot of tea, and changes the sheets with military speed and proficiency. 

Eren was very excited about the meal Levi prepared (_by purchasing) _for them today. There’s some type of savory pie filled with spiced, minced meat and potatoes, and another type of pie with sliced pears arranged in a pretty pattern and covered with honey. But there was more than that. There was a pie with apples and spices and oats, and one that was almost entirely made of nuts and molasses, and one with mushrooms and chicken and cream.

Pie. Success.

After lunch, they lazed in front of the fire on soft furs and cushions with tea and spiced apple cider. There was a great amount of time spent kissing, during which Levi suddenly “remembered” that he’d gotten some things for Eren and left him in front of the fireplace to fetch them (and to give him a minute to calm his dick. _Down boy!)_. 

Eren seemed to enjoy the game they played on a wooden tray with colored stones and dice, but the one he enjoyed the most was the second dice game played on a different board, mostly because there was money involved in that one. The third board game wasn’t such a hit with him. Too complicated, too many pieces, and Eren, the competitive little shit, pouted when Levi rejected his suggestion to spice things up a bit by wagering various sums of money and sexual favors.

The card game Levi chose was not one that traditionally involved gambling, but somehow Eren talked him into playing what might have been the world’s first game of Strip Old Maid even though they were only in undershirts and briefs. Maybe some people placed bets on Old Maid, but even then, he’s certain it was the first game of Old Maid to ever end in a blowjob.

Games. Mostly a success.

Even with all the soft cushions Levi laid out for them to lounge on, sitting on the floor for an extended period was bound to become uncomfortable. When Levi got up to stretch his stiff back and tingling legs, he suggested to Eren that they could go for a walk or take a ride into town for dinner, to which Eren responded with a resounding, _ “fuck no, it’s cold as balls!” _

Eren was, however, receptive to the warmer alternative for easing sore, stiff muscles Levi suggested. Truthfully, that was Levi’s preference as well, not just because it was “cold as balls” outside, but because it reduced the chances of someone seeing Eren and trying to drag him off for more mysterious errands. That, and the fact that the second option required more nudity.

His desire to keep Eren out of his clothes isn’t because he’s after something more. He just likes being with Eren that way. It’s relaxing and intimate. Comfortable. His suggestion of a hot bath was completely innocent; the view was only an added benefit. Eren is much more to him than just a pretty face (and a perfect ass and a big dick, and an incredible lay), and after all the dick and ass and laying today, it’s time to make sure Eren knows it.

\---

Eren sighs long and deep when he sinks into the steaming, perfumed bathwater, nestled perfectly between Levi’s legs. As he leans back onto Levi’s chest, strong arms wrap around him, and lips linger on his shoulder. 

“Temperature good?” Levi asks Eren, looking for one last excuse to prepare. He’s thought about this so much. It shouldn’t seem this hard. It’s not like he doesn’t know what he loves about Eren; it’s that what he says has to be perfect. It has to make Eren happy, even though he knows it will no matter what he says.

“Mm, it’s perfect,” Eren purrs, wiggling against Levi to make himself even more comfortable. 

“That’s good,” Levi whispers, unwinding his arms from around Eren to retrieve the special lavender-scented shampoo he bought for Eren. He swallows, pours the thick, fragrant liquid into his palm, and begins.

“You really are a handsome man, Eren. You know that?” Levi’s trying to wash Eren’s hair, but it’s not quite working from this angle. “Sit up a little.”

“Levi,” Eren whines, feeling awkward from the praise. Of course, he loves it, but he’s never figured out how exactly he should respond to it. _ Thanks? You too? Tell me more, please? _

“You are. I can’t take you anywhere without at least a dozen drooling people making eyes at you.” Eren’s not the type of person to notice that sort of thing, but Levi sure is. He’s not bothered by it; he knows who Eren’s heart belongs to. Sometimes he imagines he’s flaunting how lucky he is to be loved by Humanity’s Hope, but that’s really just his own personal fantasy. To the rest of the world, they’re not lovers; it’s just the captain of the Survey Corps guarding the titan.

“But that’s not what I love about you,” Levi says, the fingers massaging Eren’s scalp stilling for a moment while he thinks about it. “I mean, I do love that about you, but you’re more to me than your body or your looks.”

Eren hums, his face peaceful and relaxed as Levi carefully washes the oil out of his hair and massages his scalp.

“I love your fighting spirit. It inspires me. Gives me hope,” Levi tilts Eren’s head back and shields his eyes to rinse the lather from his hair._ It’s getting long. I should cut it for him. _ He kisses Eren on the back of the head and eases him down to rest on his shoulder. “It’s a weird feeling. Hope, that is. There’s a lot of things I hope for now.”

Eren makes an inquisitive sound. Levi takes Eren’s large hand and looks at it, holding it while he speaks.

“I have hope that the war will finally end. That everyone will survive. That you’ll survive. That…” Levi swallows the lump in his throat. “We’ll both survive and… live long lives… together.” He squeezes Eren’s hand tightly and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply and kissing his knuckles.

“Levi?” Eren opens his eyes and looks up at Levi, whose lips are still pressed to his hand. 

That’s too much. Those feelings are too big. Levi quickly changes the subject.

“I love the stupid, rambling stories you tell. I love that you laugh at my jokes. I’m sure it’s just to humor me, but I appreciate the gesture. You’re always trying to please me, which you don’t need to do. You’re the only one who bothered to learn how to clean properly. You’re the only one who does it right and without being ordered to. Fucking animals, the rest of them, I swear they were raised by wolves.”

The abrupt shift in the conversation surprises Eren. He was very interested in what Levi meant by what he said. But, as long as he’s being praised, he’s happy. He snorts at Levi’s jab at the rest of the squad’s cleaning ability or lack thereof. 

“You cheer me up. You don’t even have to say anything, you can just smile that big dumb smile of yours and I feel a weight lift off me. And… you’re always there for me when things get really bad. You’re not afraid to be with me when I’m… ugly.” Sometimes Levi’s darkness scares him, but not Eren. Eren’s seen the worst of him and somehow still loves him. 

Eren’s quickly reaching his maximum capacity for praise. His heart is racing, his ears are red, and the needle on the pressure gauge that’s hidden under the bathwater is just shy of the halfway mark.

“I’m supposedly humanity’s strongest, but I only feel safe when you hold me. I never feel rested unless I’m sleeping beside you. Just having you nearby is comforting.” Levi squeezes Eren’s hand again and drops his forehead onto Eren’s nape.

He gasps when Eren pulls his hand under the water. 

“Eren?” Eren has guided his hand to cup him beneath the water, and Eren’s hand is still on top of his. He can feel Eren’s pulse racing. His own soon matches Eren’s pace.

“You… trust me with this.” Eren remains silent, aside from his quickening breaths. “But that’s not all I want from you.” 

“Even if I never got to touch your body this way, I’d still love you the same as I do now. I’m amazed that you entrusted it to me in the first place. You’re always getting injured, Hanji’s always experimenting on you, I’m surprised you’d want anyone to touch you at all.” According to the military, Eren’s own body doesn’t even belong to him; he’s property. It makes Levi’s blood boil. 

But Eren _chose_ him. 

“I only want _you _to touch me,” Eren’s whisper is just shy of a moan. “And you’re the only one I’d ever let touch me like this.” 

Levi’s heart is pounding. Eren’s taken control of the conversation and he doesn’t even realize it. Or perhaps he does, because he’s turning over in the water, getting on his knees to gaze at Levi with hooded eyes, and then he’s kissing him. 

Levi obliges.

He pushes Eren away until Eren’s leaning back on his hands, and now it’s Levi kneeling over Eren, who is watching his every move with love and desire in his eyes. 

“And you’re the only one who has ever laid a hand on me like this.” Levi holds out his hand, beckoning Eren to hold it. “No one else has ever been,” Levi guides Eren’s hand between his thighs, pulling Eren closer to him until Eren’s fingers press against his asshole, “here.”

Eren’s eyes are wide with wonder, and Levi will never, ever get used to being looked at like that.

“This belongs to you. Come, take what's yours.” 

\---

What was supposed to be a nice, relaxing bath before bed ended up turning into sex.

Levi’s worn out after his third orgasm of the day. That must’ve been Eren’s fourth? Fifth? However many it was, he’s going to need a full night’s sleep before he can even think about going again.

The sheets are clean, and the fire is dying. A candle is flickering on the nightstand. Time to put the brat to bed.

\---

He’d thought a lot about what Eren had told him several nights ago. It made him understand why Eren was so reluctant to open up to him about the cause of his winter depression. It was something Levi couldn’t fix, no matter what he did. He’d sell his soul to give Eren back what he’d lost, but if he couldn’t do that, he’d do everything in his power to help soothe the ache left behind by the loss he knows so well. That’s why he decided against mentioning anything about that tonight. He’ll talk to Eren again. It’s his sworn duty to care for Eren inside and out, but not now, not tonight.

Instead, he’ll make use of the bizarre gift Hanji had given him recently alongside a vague mention of it being something Eren might like. It was a compilation of poetry and prose, and it was very old. Dangerously old. _ Illegally _old.

As he thumbed through the time-worn pages, he grew more and more confused about why Hanji had given this to him and why on earth they thought Eren would like it. It was all about breasts and thinly-veiled metaphors involving fruit, or even worse, _ flowers_, and inordinate time spent describing hair. Was Hanji trying to tell him something, or was Eren secretly into all this cloying, sappy, romantic, girly shit?

He hid the book in a desk drawer until one night, it called to him. He needed to piece together the puzzle. He had plenty of time since Eren wouldn’t be home any-fucking-time soon. He lit a lamp, brewed a pot of tea, and got to work.

The wordings were quite strange, and most of the poems and stories were about men swooning over maidens, which, though not particularly interesting to him, made him chuckle. Yeah, he’d swooned a bit over him, but Eren was no maiden in any sense of the word. He’d already taken care of that long ago.

As he made his way through the pages, he realized that some texts stood out to him more than others. The first that caught his interest was about a living flame, and at that one, he took pause. He reread it. The verses about dawn, about a soul awakening and stars brighter than the sun; it moved something in him. He read more.

There was a story of two men, a warrior and a prince, whose souls were knit together. The prince had given the soldier his sword and bow and made a promise to him. When Levi reached the end of the tale, it became clear to him; the very last line of it left no room for doubt. These men were not just devoted brothers-in-arms. This was a _love_ story about _men_, about male_ lovers _who swore themselves to each other through life and death.

Levi’s throat went dry when he read that. He turned the pages greedily now, searching for more, for anything that made him feel the way that unexpected tale did.

Another one stirred his heart, a bleak poem about winter and sorrow and a man begging pity from the one he loves. Though the next one that touched him was a song from a woman to her lover, he dwelled on the words of it. His heart clenched as he read about her desire to run far away with her beloved among men.

One after another after another. The one about how the sun reminds him of his lover and of soaring over the ocean– _ Eren’s ocean? _ A sullied man who dotes on his far more beautiful lover. Gold ingots and love at first sight, gold complexions, gold in somber autumn. _ Why dost thou love me so, strange lover mine? Be sweet, be still! My heart and soul despise all, save that antique brute-like faith of thine. _

Yeah. Hanji was onto something there. 

The formerly-dusty tome is on the bedside table, ready and waiting for the final phase.

Romancing.

Eren jokes about being read a bedtime story, but he nestles in close, pressing his cheek over Levi’s heart so that he can hear the deep, velvety voice rumbling in his chest.

Levi reads from dog-eared pages until Eren falls asleep. He wonders if Eren knew that he wasn’t merely reciting words on a page from an arbitrarily chosen book.

Maybe one day he’ll write him his own.

Levi sets the book on the nightstand and blows out the candle.

Mission complete. 

\---

“Good morning, Captain!”

Levi is already eating breakfast when Armin walks up to the table to greet him. Armin sets down his tray, and after returning his greeting, Levi takes another sip of tea and turns to the next page of the newspaper.

“Where’s Eren? He’s usually here by now. I don’t want to start eating without him.” Armin looks innocently at the Captain, whose face carries the barest hint of a smirk behind his teacup. _Oh, no. I forgot. Act casual. You know nothing. _

“Eren gets to sleep late today,” Levi replies smoothly, trying not to let his pride show through. Eren’s going to be out of commission for a while.

“Oh, wow, he’s lucky, ha ha! Ha...” Armin laughs awkwardly, to which the Captain responds with the subtle lifting of an eyebrow. He clears his throat. “Well, if you see him, can you tell him I need to talk to him as soon as possible?”

Levi nods, and the rest of the meal is eaten in silence. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> De Profundis Clamavi
> 
> I do implore thy pity, Thou whom alone I love,  
Deep in this mournful vale wherein my heart is fallen.  
It is a world completely sad, where the low sullen  
Skies seem about to rain pure horror from above.
> 
> A fireless sun swims over six months of every year;  
Six months of every year the earth is lost in shadow.  
It is a bleaker land than any Arctic meadow:  
Nor streams, nor flowers, nor fruits, nor birds, nor forests here!
> 
> Surely there is no evil imaginable to compare  
With the cruelty of that cold sun in the cold air  
And that enormous night, like the first chaos of things;
> 
> I envy the very animals, to whom slumber brings  
Over and over the gift of being thoughtless and blind,  
So slowly does the thread of these dark years unwind.
> 
> — Charles Baudelaire, Les Fleurs du Mal (George Dillon translation)


	11. Chapter 11

Breakfast is over and Levi is long gone by the time Eren comes limping into the mess hall. Armin looks up from the cookbook he borrowed from Sasha when he hears the uneven steps of dragging feet coming his way, and he becomes concerned when he takes in Eren’s appearance. His hair is a mess, his dark-circled eyes are only half-open, and his wobbling gait closely resembles the one Eren acquires after a few too many drinks.

“Eren, are you okay?” Armin asks as Eren, with a crooked smile on his face, flops down into the chair across from him. “Have you been _drinking? _ Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“Drinking? What makes you think I’ve been drinking?” Eren looks at his friend, puzzled, but yawns before he gets an answer to his question. 

“You look like you have. You’re swaying like Mr. Hannes.” A sinking feeling of dread comes over him upon further observation of Eren’s messy state, and somehow he’d forgotten how smug Levi looked this morning, but now it’s too late. Eren’s already explaining.

“Oh, I’m just really,” another yawn interrupts. “Tired. And my ass is kinda sore. We did it like… five times yesterday. Maybe six, I can’t remember; I think I blacked out at one point. Then we went again this mo–”

“You know what? Nevermind. I have to talk to you about something important you have to do today.”

“What do you mean?” Eren yawns again, and he can’t remember having anything important he needed to do today. _ Shit, or did I? What did I forget? _

“You’re baking cookies today.”

“I am?” Eren’s doubly confused now that Armin looks and sounds like he’s threatening him. 

“Yes. You are.”

“Armin? What’s going on? Why are you... why am I getting a bad feeling about this?” 

\---

“Eren! Did you bring the meat?” Sasha looks like she’s about to eat Eren. She’s scary when she’s hungry. So… always.

“There’s _ meat _ in them?!” Eren suddenly finds the tradition even creepier now.

“Everything should have meat in it,” Sasha looks let down, but her eyes are still hopeful. “What are we making today?”

“Oh, uh,” Eren shakes off his horror when he realizes Sasha’s asking him a question. “My mom used to make these traditional cookies. I wanted to try to make some this year, but I, uh… never learned how to make them. I mostly just ate raw dough.”

“What kind were they? I’m sure I can find a recipe.”

“They were… brown?” _ Shit. Armin, where are you? You’re the one who knows about all this stuff! _

“I meant, what were they called? Were they special holiday ones like pfeffernüsse, something like that? Ooh, or Connies!” Sasha doesn’t mind making all of them to see if any match Eren’s mother’s.

“Connie’s? He bakes cookies?” _ I didn’t think he could even boil an egg, though I suppose since he’s always with Sasha, he could’ve picked up some cooking skills. _

“No, he doesn’t make them, I do! And we just call them Connies ‘cause they sound like his name. Springerle, you know, like Springer? Those are both kind of brown-ish cookies. Was either of those?”

“I’m trying to remember. Those names don’t sound familiar. I remember what they taste like. Will that help?” 

“I might be able to make them if you remember well enough, but try to remember the name, if you can.”_ Hurry up. I’m starving. _

“They were kind of peppery or something? They remind me a little of spiced cider, but not apple and not very sweet. When she made them, they were always flat and kind of hard. They might have been bread? I remember something about bread.” 

“Gingerbread?” _ Ooh, I love gingerbread. I hope that’s what we’re making! _ “In my village, we used to make little houses out of it. Dad always yelled at me for eating the roof before we could put it on. Did you do that, too?”

“Maybe? That sounds familiar. You rolled this wooden thing on them and made the dough flat. Then you cut them into…” Eren shudders at the thought. “Shapes. Is that what gingerbread is like?”

“Yes! I think your mom made gingerbread! I know how to make that!” Sasha clasps her hands in front of her, and her face takes on a dreamy look. Eren notices the wetness forming on the corner of her mouth until her face suddenly falls, looking like she’s just been told the mess ran out of potatoes again. “But… We don’t have the ingredients here to make them.”

Eren feels incredibly guilty. She looks like she’s about to cry. He might cry too if they can’t get the ingredients. “What do we need? Is it something rare? Can I find it in the shops?”

“Nothing _too _rare. Many people make gingerbread this time of year, so I’m sure the shops got ahold of enough to last the season, though… they might’ve hiked the prices because of it.” It’s close to the holiday. She hopes they haven’t run out because she’s already dreaming about eating gingerbread. “I’ll make a list and we’ll go into town. I might be able to substitute some things. The ginger is the most important. We won’t be able to make gingerbread without it.”

“Definitely! I’ll go right now!” _ Armin, you better be around. I’m not taking Sasha with me. There’ll be nothing left for anyone else if I let her loose around all that food. _“You don’t have to go out of your way for me; just give me the list.”

“Oh, I really don’t mind at all. I’ll go with you!”

“But…” _ Think fast. If I take her, we’ll be there for hours, and I don’t have much money. _ “I saw everyone heading to the common room to make popcorn over the fireplace; there might not be any left by the time we get back!”

Sasha gasps. Three minutes later, Eren, with a very important (and wrinkled) shopping list clutched tightly in his fist, runs to find Armin.

\---

“How am I going to carry all this? And has gingerbread always had bacon in it?” Armin frowns at the shopping list. That’s a lot of stuff just to make cookies. “And who’s going to pay for all this?”

“Too bad there aren’t any large animals that could carry our stuff for us. Something like that would really come in handy right now.” Armin rolls his eyes. “And I’m paying, I should have enough, it’s just some spices and flour and… wait, did you say bacon? I don’t remember mom using that.”

“Of _course. _ Why does this not surprise me? Sasha wrote the list.” _ We’ll just scratch that one off… Or maybe not. _

If Eren’s gonna be out in the country for more than a day, there’s no way the small amount of food he planned to make will be enough for the two of them, especially with how the both of them eat. _ Fine, I’ll do him another favor. I’ll buy it. You better thank me for saving your ass again. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t. If they run out of energy to fuck, I might not have to hear about it when he gets back. _

“Can we go now? I’ll get my horse while you get dressed. I’ll ride up when I’m done.”

“And _ my _ horse?”

“It’ll take up too much time if I have to saddle both of them. We need to go.” Armin weighs about as much as a mouse and isn’t much bigger than one, either. It’ll be fine. Eren seems to have forgotten that Armin is taller than Levi, so he doesn’t think about what that would make him. 

“You’re riding in front.” _ I’m not going into town with your junk touching my ass, especially not with Levi on your mind. Hm. So that’s why Levi always wants the reins. Ugh. Don’t think about it. _

“But you’re shorter. You won’t be able to see over me.” Levi always complains about that, and he’s shorter than Armin. Eren still doesn’t make the connection to what he called Armin.

“I don’t need to see if you have the reins. Come on, we’re wasting time.” 

“Right, I’ll meet you out front.”

_ Thank god. I’m getting sick of my life revolving around Eren’s junk. Only a few more days, and I won’t be forced to think about anyone’s genitals ever again. Or… at least until Eren gets back from his trip. I hope Levi makes him lose his voice. See, that’s exactly what I mean! _

\---

“That’s just about everything. This seems like a lot for a batch of cookies.” Armin’s arm is getting tired from holding the bag, and Eren’s is even heavier. This is definitely Sasha’s doing. He knew those weights didn’t sound right. Six kilos of flour?_ I should’ve known. I should probably hide half of it for Eren. _

“I dunno. Seems right to me.” Eren shrugs. 

“Wait, Eren. I just thought of something. When are you planning on leaving? And how long are you staying?” Out of all the things they’d discussed, somehow they overlooked these slightly important details.

“Oh, uh. Good question. I think… well, if we leave right now, we can stay there for about… Hmm,” Eren pauses, calculating how many days are left until Christmas and how much time they’ll be able to spend in the cabin together before they’re needed back at headquarters. The answer comes to him rather quickly, considering this is actually the first time he’s thought about it. “Forever?”

“When did you become such a sap?” Armin rolls his eyes at Eren’s answer, not just because it’s ridiculous and unrealistic, but also because he knows Eren isn’t joking. Eren may never have said it in so many words, but he can tell that when Eren thinks about Levi, it’s definitely in the forever sort of way. He’s already spent most of his life in love with him, and it doesn’t seem like that’s going to change anytime soon. He hopes that one day the war will end, and his friend can finally get that forever. 

Instead of saying something like “when I met my soulmate,_ ” _ or something equally cheesy and embarrassing and absolutely true, Eren just shrugs and smiles to himself.

“Oh, Eren. You really have it bad for him. Look at you. You’re glowing.” Armin’s only teasing Eren, but he really is glowing. Eren isn’t trying to argue, so he might as well give up on teasing him since there are more important things to focus on right now. “But seriously, how much preparation is left? Are you ready to leave, or is there more you need to do?”

“Hm. We got the cabin all fixed up, so that’s done. Got the tree and most of the supplies, so… I think the only thing I’m waiting on now is Hanji.” 

“Then you’re pretty much ready to go. I talked to Hanji when you were with Sasha. They just have to make some final adjustments and said they’d most likely be done by the end of the day. Knowing how obsessed they are with all this you and Levi stuff, they’re probably already done, or they will be by the time you’re ready to pack.”_ Don’t worry. I took care of it for you. The sooner you two can leave, the sooner you’ll be out of my hair. I’m looking forward to not having to hear about your junk _or _the Captain’s for a few days. _

“What?! Really? Then let’s go back! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Eren practically explodes when he hears this, forgetting that he’s holding a bag full of groceries and almost throwing it across the street with how quickly he swings his arms out to the side. 

“I didn’t tell you sooner because I knew you wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else once you found out.” 

“Armin! How could you?!” Eren looks wounded and is ignoring the fact that Armin is right, as always.

“Eren, hush. You want to leave as soon as possible, correct?” Eren nods furiously and gives Armin his full attention, or at least as much of it as he can give. “Then let’s get everything else you’re going to need now. If Hanji’s done with the skates when we get back to headquarters, we can ride out and finish up at the cabin tonight.” _ And hopefully get back before Levi murders me for stealing you again. He’ll thank me afterwards. _

“So then… now?”

“Eren.” Armin says his name in a vaguely familiar tone that makes Eren shiver; he wonders if he’s about to get his ear pulled.

“Yeah…?” Eren swallows and doesn’t even know why he’s suddenly so worried. _ What did I do? Did I say something wrong? _

“Food.” Armin’s tone remains stern when he says only that one innocent word, making it sound like an accusation instead of an explanation.

“Food?” Eren questions.

“Yes, food. More specifically, food for Levi. You were going to make him a Christmas dinner. And I thought you guys might like to eat more than one meal while you’re out there playing house together. You’re not gonna let your captain go hungry, are you?”

“Food. Yeah. Food. Food is important. Thanks, Armin.” Eren nods solemnly after being put in his place by Armin once again. 

“Okay, glad we’re on the same page here. Let’s go load this stuff onto the horse first. I don’t know how much more I can carry.”

Eren nods obediently and heads right for where they’d hitched their horse. Unable to move as quickly as Eren while carrying so much weight, Armin ends up a few paces behind Eren and chuckles to himself as he watches him walk to the horse, bow-legged and nearly limping.

\---

After the second round of groceries, the saddlebags are bulging. There’s not room for much more, but there’s still one thing Armin needs to remind Eren to get before they return to headquarters. _ Sorry, girl, _ Armin whispers to their horse, patting its flank in apology before turning back to Eren, who already has his foot in the stirrup.

“Oh, before we leave, did you want to find another gift for Levi?” Armin remembers Eren stressing over needing another gift for Levi when Hanji told him about his birthday. Armin tries to count how many times Eren’s saved him. He thinks they’re about even now. Eren may actually owe _him_. But what kind of friend would he be if he let Eren forget about this?

“Shit. Shit, you’re right. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“Let’s take a quick look then. Want to go back to the tea shop?”

Eren digs around in his pocket for his coin purse to count the money he has left over after buying his ingredients, and he frowns when he looks inside. Only a few coins. Definitely not enough to buy Levi some tea, or anything else for that matter.

“Let’s just head back.” Eren sounds hesitant and looks crestfallen. “I don’t have enough.”

Eren looks so _sad. _ He can’t let Eren leave without a gift, especially when he was the one who reminded Eren to buy one. Armin has plenty, even after the bacon and other things he decided Eren needed if he intended to feed two grown men for several days. Lending him money is easy compared to all the planning, cleaning, long rides in freezing weather, being on the receiving end of Levi’s death glares, and, worst of all, having to hear Eren talk about all that embarrassing sex stuff _and _knowing that doing all this for Eren will result in having to endure more of it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll spot you. What are friends for?” 

\---

Eren immediately runs up to his room when they get back to headquarters so he can hide Levi’s second gift before his cooking lessons. He looks positively giddy. Armin would pay any amount of money, no questions asked, if it would keep that smile on Eren’s face and that sparkle in his eyes.

All of this hard work is _so _worth it. 

\---

“Okay, Eren, be a good boy and take these to the kitchen.” Armin hands off the bag of baking ingredients, which is still heavy even after he’d taken out the excess that Sasha thought she could get away with making them buy. Eren’s going to need enough to bake cookies on his own, and that will not happen if Sasha got her hands on the entire bag.

“All right, _ mom_,” Eren says with a sarcastic roll of his eyes and takes the ingredients from Armin. He doesn’t go anywhere, though. Armin can tell he’s about to try to convince him to go check in with Hanji first.

“Go on, go let Sasha teach you how to bake cookies for Levi.” It’s not manipulation if it’s reminding him about what he’s supposed to do, right? “I’m going to make sure Levi won’t come wandering down here and spoil his surprise. I’ll come get you when I’m done. Now go.” Armin shoos him away, and Eren offers only a little whine of resistance before he obeys. Mentioning Levi always does the trick.

\---

“Hanji, are you in there?” 

“Door’s unlocked; come on in!” Hanji calls from inside the lab.

Armin looks around to make sure he’s alone before entering, quietly shutting and locking the door behind him.

“Where’s Eren?” They ask when they look up from their work and find only Armin standing there.

“That’s what I came to talk to you about. Do you think you’d be able to get Levi away from headquarters for a few hours? Eren’s working on another surprise for him, and I have to make sure he doesn’t find out.” 

“Another surprise?” Hanji bolts up from their desk in excitement, voracious hunger in their eyes. “Tell me! You have to tell me. What is it? Oh my god, is he practicing his proposal? Is that what it is?” They’re bouncing on their toes now, looking exactly how they would if Armin had just told them a titan is waiting for them outside.

“He’s just learning how to make gingerbread.” Hanji advances on him, scrunching their brows together and frowning. _ Please stop looking at me like that. I’m scared. _ “I swear to Rose, Maria, and Sina that I’m telling the truth. That’s all he’s doing.” 

Hanji opens their mouth to protest, hands on their hips, so Armin reminds them of why he’s here before they can get another word in. “So can you do it? I’d try to distract him myself, but he’s not very fond of me at the moment.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll get ready to leave, but if you see him on the way out, send him down here. Tell him Erwin wanted to see him if you have to. And they’re done, by the way.” Hanji points to a wooden trunk in the far back corner of the lab. “In there.”

“That’s perfect. Eren’s going to be so happy! Oh, but… One more thing. Does the Captain have anything on his schedule for tomorrow? If everything goes well with Eren’s cooking lessons, I think he’s wanting to leave first thing in the morning.”

“Not that I’m aware of, but if there is, I’ll take care of it. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you so Eren can smuggle his gifts out once I get Levi out of here.”

“Thank you. This means a lot to Eren, and we couldn’t have done this without you.” 

“Oh, Armin, you two are just the sweetest little scouts I’ve ever met. It’s been no trouble at all, trust me. Really, I’m the one getting the gift here.”

Armin is well aware. 

\---

“So… how are things coming along?”

Armin hopes Levi has already left with Hanji because the incredible smell coming from the kitchen’s gonna start attracting hungry soldiers like flies on manure. Even the indifferent Captain Levi wouldn’t be able to resist its seductive call.

“Holy crap, what _happened_ in here?” It takes Armin a minute to grasp what he’s seeing. Pots and pans and kitchen utensils are scattered evenly across the room, a chair is overturned, and there are eggshells _everywhere._ _There used to be a kitchen here. It looks like a bomb went off. Did Eren burn himself and shift or something? I think I would’ve heard that._

“Nothing?” Eren questions Armin’s reaction, not seeing anything amiss. Eren must not have noticed being covered head to toe in flour, literally. Either it’s flour in his hair, or Eren’s gone prematurely grey from the stress of being locked in the kitchen with Sasha. “We baked?”

“I see.” Whatever. No time to argue. “So, do you think you can do it on your own?” Armin looks to Sasha, who has to answer with a nod and a thumbs-up because her mouth is so full of something that her cheeks puff out like a chipmunk preparing for winter.

“I think they turned out pretty good. I should be able to handle it. Yeah! I totally can.” Eren glances at Sasha to make sure she’s too distracted to see him pull a parchment-wrapped lump from his back pocket. “Try one,” he whispers, stealthily slipping the butt-warmed packet into Armin’s hand.

“Hey!” comes a shout from across the room, causing the two scouts to freeze. They glance at each other, Armin shoves the packet back into Eren’s hand, and a split second later, they’re dashing for the door with Sasha shouting after them, incredibly offended. “I can’t believe you were holding out on me! Hey, come back! It’s not nice not to share! Erennnn…!”

Sasha’s whine fades away as the pair retreat to a safe distance and stop to catch their breath.

Eren offers the parchment-wrapped object to Armin again with pleading eyes, and Armin can’t refuse. 

“Well? What do you think? Do you think Levi will like them?” Eren asks as Armin takes a tentative bite. Eren looks so hopeful and expectant that Armin wouldn’t have the heart to tell him if something was wrong with them.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to.

“Oh! They’re good! They taste the same as I remember, and they’re really,” Armin pauses and looks at the decapitated man in his hand. There’s just one difference, and he can’t quite identify the new ingredient. “... Crunchy?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Eren says at the exact moment Armin notices the little white flecks that Eren’s mom’s cookies never had. “I kinda dropped an egg in there while Sasha was mixing. I thought I got all the shell out… Well, most of it.”

“I’m sure Levi will love these. Speaking of Levi, we have to hurry and finish packing and drop all this stuff off at the cabin before he gets back. There’s still daylight, so if we hurry, you won’t miss dinner again.” _ Please, please don’t let us miss dinner again; I don’t want to die. _

“I already packed everything. Let’s just go now.”

“Everything, Eren?” Armin gives Eren a pointed glare, one thick eyebrow raised in accusation.

“Yeah? I think so… What else is there?” Eren goes over his mental list. He doesn’t think he’s forgotten anything. All that’s left is the food and Levi’s gifts.

“So, you packed clothes?” 

“Oh, uh… no. But I don’t think I’ll need them.” 

“Eren, stop thinking about that for like two seconds. It’s cold out there, and you’re gonna need layers. Clean ones. Both of you.” _ One more day. One more day, and I’ll be free of hearing about what Eren and the Captain do behind closed doors. Until he gets back. Maybe they _should _stay forever. _ “Look, maybe you’re fine without them, but you can’t honestly think Levi won’t want clean clothes. Plus, Levi isn’t a titan, so he’s going to get cold. Unlike you with your freakishly hot,” _ I was gonna say _ass. _ Glad I caught myself this time. _ “Body temperature.”

“Oh, he’s a titan, all right.” Eren winks, waiting for a reaction.

Armin bites his tongue. They don’t have time for this. He has to get Eren out of the castle now, or else he’ll be scarred for the afterlife, too. _ One more day, _ Armin thinks to calm himself. Just when he’s certain that Eren’s done being, well, _ Eren, _ he drops the last straw onto the donkey’s back. 

“And I’ll keep him plenty warm.” Eren waggles his eyebrows, and Armin slaps him upside the head.

“Hey! What was that for?” Eren rubs the back of his undamaged head and tries to protest when Armin yanks his arm away to tug his much larger body down the hall. 

\---

“Can’t you do this part on your own?” Armin asks, looking around in every direction. A deep chill falls over him like a bad omen._ Something terrible has happened here. _

“Come on,” Eren orders, turning his key in the lock, irritated when Armin remains standing in the hallway outside the door. “Just get in. It’ll only be a minute.”

_ Eren has a key? _

“I really don’t think I should be in here.” Armin shivers from how drastically the temperature dropped once the door closed behind him. He’s never been in Levi’s bedroom before, and it’s more terrifying than the dungeon at night, an entire horde of 20-meter class abnormals, and Hanji’s lab all rolled into one.

“It’s fine,” Eren assures, annoyed at Armin’s sudden hesitance after making him rush around all day. “Here, hold this.”

Armin tries not to look at anything in Levi’s room, especially not what Eren’s pulling out of Levi’s dresser drawer and shoving into the rucksack he’s holding open for him. At least Eren had the decency to toe the pair of underwear that was on the floor beside the fireplace under the pile of blankets beside it. Even if that _is _the last of the apparently hastily discarded undergarments he has to see, Armin’s still way too close to the bed for comfort.

Eren opens the bottom drawer and holds up something Armin’s never seen Levi wear before. 

“Think this’ll be warm enough?” It’s a rather nice-looking sweater, cream-colored and made of thick wool. 

Armin nods, holding open the bag, and something catches his eye while Eren goes back for another pair of socks. He doesn’t want to think about it, shit; he doesn’t even want to look at it; he wishes he hadn’t seen it in the first place. He sure as hell isn’t going to touch it. All he wants now is for Eren to hurry it up so he can leave.

“I think that’s everything.” 

Knowing Eren, it’s not. To his own surprise, Armin still cares enough to make sure Eren’s first Christmas with Levi is perfect down to the last detail.

“Are you _ sure _ you’re not forgetting anything important?”

“I got the clothes, we got the firewood and matches and stuff already, and we’re going to bring the food now, so I think that’s–oh! Levi’s presents! We’ll get those last.” Eren looks so happy. Armin sighs.

“You’ve already packed soap and toilet paper, then?” Armin knows he hasn’t. 

“Fuck. Thanks, Armin. Be right back.” Armin watches Eren disappear into the bathroom to make way too much noise. The thing that caught his eye before is still screaming at him, and he’s still trying to scrub it from his brain, but his conscience is too annoying to ignore. The guilt would eat him alive if he knew Eren was going to forget it and he didn’t speak up.

“Okay, we’re good. Let’s go.” 

“You’re _ positive _ you have everything you and Levi will need?” _ Please figure it out on your own. _

“Armin, yes! Let’s just go already!” Eren’s already heading for the door. _ Shit. _

“Do you have everything you need for the bedroom?” _ Come on, Eren. That’s all you ever think about. How is that not the first thing you packed? _

“We brought sheets and blankets and pillows the other day. Do you think we need more?” Eren doesn’t want to chance it. “I’ll need another bag, but I think there’s one in Levi’s–what?” Eren stares dumbly at Armin, who is glaring at him, crossing his arms, and then nodding toward the bed. “I can’t take the one off the bed, we–uh, _ he _ has to sleep there tonight.”

“Ughhhhh, _ Eren, _” Armin releases a long, pained groan. “I mean your,” Armin, without looking at it again, waves his hand toward the nightstand. Eren’s staring in the right direction now but still hasn’t taken the hint. “_Sex stuff._”

Armin was expecting a sassy comment from Eren. What he got was a small smile and a long, heartwarming look of gratitude. Armin smiles back, and Eren, receiving the message, smiles wider. Eren’s happiness and sincere gratitude are so rewarding that it makes up tenfold for all the embarrassment and having to put up with Eren’s shit.

Eren grabs the bottle from the nightstand, and Armin averts his eyes when he drops it in the bag. Instead of leaving, Eren remains standing in front of him and purses his lips as if he’s trying to remember if he’s forgotten anything else. When Eren turns around, walks back to the nightstand, opens the drawer, and returns with a second, identical bottle with more liquid in it than the first one, Armin shudders. 

_ Eren’s happiness is worth it. Eren’s happiness is worth it. Eren’s happiness is worth it. _

Armin repeats this to himself the entire way to the cabin.

\---

Armin remembered _his _important item. Now he just needs an opening.

Eren is busy unloading bags of groceries when he stops suddenly, freezing in place in front of an open cabinet. This is puzzling to Armin, and he’s about to ask Eren what’s wrong when Eren shakes his head and mutters something that Armin isn’t sure he was meant to hear.

“It feels like I’m moving in.”

Armin decides that he should go check on something in another room. 

\---

Eren’s just about to hop up onto the saddle when he notices that Armin isn’t doing the same. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s heading back toward the house. 

“Where are you going? Don’t we have to leave now?” Eren questions and Armin stands still with his back to him when he answers.

“I forgot my gloves. I’ll be right back.” He glances over his shoulder to see Eren nod, and they smile at each other before Eren turns back to his horse and hoists himself onto it.

Armin can see Eren through the kitchen window, and yeah, this is all worth it. Eren’s smiling to himself, and Armin knows he still is even when he flips his fur-lined hood up and it hides his face.

He has to do this as quickly as possible; otherwise, Eren will get impatient and come looking for him. He’d been looking for the perfect place to put it while they were stocking the cabin with the last of the supplies.

He finally decided where to put it, and since he’s a good friend, he chose the worst possible place for it.

Armin hops up on the crate he’d purposely left in front of the aged yet still sturdy chest of drawers and then climbs up onto the chest itself. He wishes he was a little taller when he fails his first attempt, but he gets it on the second, more risky try. 

The short boy leans over, stretches his body as much as he can, and jumps. He falls as expected, but there’s something there to cushion his landing.

Armin smiles to himself at a job well done, and he hopes Eren appreciates it. _ He better. _

He takes a final look at the sprig of mistletoe hanging from a wooden beam above the bed before he leaves, and he remembers to pull his gloves out of his pocket before he walks out the door.

“Okay, let’s go!”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I came like ten times._
> 
> EREN STOP


	12. Chapter 12

“Levi, I need you to come with me.”

Perhaps it was immature of him, but Levi pretended not to notice Hanji walking in his direction with that unsettling look on their face. He knew better than to think it would work, so it didn’t surprise him as much as it annoyed him when Hanji stopped him with a hand on his chest.

“Oi, when was the last time you washed your hands, shitty four-eyes?” Levi makes that _tch _sound when he jerks away to frown at the spot the scientist’s hand had been, and Hanji deciphers its meaning right away. 

Levi’s in a mood. Hanji expected this would likely be the case, seeing that Levi’s perpetually been in A Mood for the better part of a month, but they’d come prepared. 

“Grab your coat and hurry up. It’s important.” Hanji’s tone is serious. Levi picks up on it, and it lowers his resistance somewhat, though he wisely remains on guard. It’s a good thing the light casts a glare over the lenses of Hanji’s glasses, or else Levi would see the evil gleam in their mischievous, plotting eyes.

“What could possibly be so important that–” Levi squinted and crossed his arms, rightfully suspicious of Hanji but slightly worried by their unusually grim demeanor. Before he can finish demanding an explanation, Hanji interrupts him with it.

“It’s about Eren. I’ll explain on the way.” 

Levi’s stomach drops, and he offers no further argument. He obediently follows Hanji, throwing on one of the thick winter coats hanging near the door, and the pair exit headquarters in tense silence.

Success.

\---

Hanji remained tight-lipped the entire time they saddled up, and Levi didn’t speak again until they were a good distance away, his worry gnawing at him until he couldn’t hold back anymore. It must be something dire for Hanji to need to take them off base to discuss it. Are there spies in their midst?

“What’s going on,” Levi rode up beside Hanji and spoke so low that anyone listening nearby wouldn’t be able to hear. Could someone be hiding in the trees? Levi wonders if it was even safe to ask that vague question, swallowing hard at the idea that he could’ve just carelessly endangered Eren by doing so.

“I think you already know,” Hanji replies, their answer just as quiet and vague as Levi’s question. Though it’s not something they’ve ever been good at, they’re doing surprisingly well at hiding their triumphant giddiness. 

Levi doesn’t know, and his mind frantically searches for answers while he maneuvers his horse as close as he can–close enough to accidentally kick Hanji’s heel. “Is it safe to talk,” he whispers, his anxiety eating him from inside when his mental search for answers comes up empty.

“Eren hasn’t been acting like himself. You’ve noticed this, yes?” Hanji doesn’t flinch when they’re kicked, only sparing Levi a brief glance before turning their attention back to the path ahead of them. Levi doesn’t answer. “As his _ guardian_,” Hanji emphasizes the word, making their meaning clear without having to say it out loud, “you should’ve been the first to pick up on the change.”

Levi’s mind doesn’t slow down; rather, its already frantic scrambling speeds up double-time. Does Hanji mean _that? _ Is it something else? Was Eren not telling the whole truth? _ Shit. Shit! What’s going on? _

“I’ve been monitoring him as closely as I can, but lately, he’s been going missing for hours at a time.” Hanji only intends to rile Levi up for the fun of it, but perhaps saying that wasn’t the best way to do it. That might have been dangerously close to spoiling the surprise.

Levi clears his throat and focuses on keeping his voice level when he responds with a simple, “I am aware.” He is painfully aware, and now even more painfully aware that Hanji knows something he doesn’t. 

Levi’s letting himself get sloppy. He knew it. He hasn’t been watching Eren closely enough. He also hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings, and it scares him when he notices how far away from headquarters they are. The soft crunch of hooves on the forest path turned into rhythmic clopping on solid cobblestone. When did that happen? The only tree in front of them now is the massive one in the center of the village square.

Hanji’s now several paces ahead of him. When did he stop his horse? Levi blinks at their back and coaxes his horse back into motion. Hanji’s shoulders appear to be shaking, and Levi isn’t sure why he’s suddenly so angry.

“You better tell me what the fuck is going on. Now.” 

Hanji turns their horse around, and the look of confusion and anger on Levi’s face is sweeter than the cookies that his darling Eren is likely baking for him right this very minute.

“Your little shithead is feeling down in the dumps, and since you can’t seem to figure it out, I’m taking charge.”

“Don’t you dare call him that!” Levi spits, his simmering anger flaring into full-on rage in an instant. “You have some balls insulting him in front of me. Do it again, and I’m going to remove them.” That Hanji also insulted_ him _is lost on Levi.

“I would never insult our precious Eren!”

“You just did, shit-for-brains. And since when is he _ our _ Eren?” Levi’s ready to start swinging. _ How dare they? _

“My mistake. I was under the impression that it was a term of endearment. _ Your _ Eren always seems to like it when you call him that, so I just assumed…” Hanji knows that they’re about to have their grin forcefully removed from their face, and they love it.

“Only_ I _ get to–wait, hang on. When have you ever heard me call him that?” 

“Oh, you know.” Hanji shrugs and waves their hand but gives no other explanation. Levi growls. _ Delicious. _ “Let’s go back to the part about my balls. I actually had a few ques–” There’s a sudden flash in Levi’s eyes, and Hanji deduces that it must be the hornets emerging from the nest they’ve just kicked one too many times. “Nevermind, that can wait until later. We have something more important to discuss at the moment.”

Levi’s knuckles are white around the reins, and he’d rather attribute that to having forgotten to wear gloves instead of acknowledging that he’d allowed Hanji to get him riled up again.

“Unless you’d rather?” Hanji waggles their eyebrows, and when Levi answers with his middle finger, they throw their head back in open laughter. “Come, come. Let’s go do what we came here to do.” 

Levi exhales, and when he’s sufficiently tamed his inner beast, he rides up alongside Hanji, and they enter the picturesque town together.

“What, precisely, did we come here to do?” _ I knew I had a bad feeling about this. _

“We came here to get a present for Eren,” Hanji says so matter-of-factly that Levi feels insulted by it.

“What for? His birthday isn’t for another three months.” _ And I already gave him several presents last night, all of which I had to wash out of the bedsheets this morning. _

“Oh, sweetie. I see now why you’re called Humanity’s Strongest and not Humanity’s Smartest.” _ I hear buzzing. It’s getting louder. _

“So I take it you’re not too attached to your balls.” Levi is fighting an internal battle between shoving his boot so far up Hanji’s ass that they’ll taste it versus finding out what Hanji knows about Eren’s weird behavior and why it involves buying him a gift. _ Oh. _It clicks.

“I get the feeling I won’t be for very much longer,” Hanji chuckles. They turn their head to collect their reward in the form of what is undoubtedly going to be another beautiful reaction from Levi, and what they get is twice as good as they were expecting. Levi’s face has gone soft. The hornets are back in the nest.

“You think a gift will cheer him up,” ponders a humbled Levi, uncertain yet hopeful.

“I do. I think he’ll feel left out if he’s the only one who doesn’t get a Natalis gift from his special someone.” Levi shoots Hanji a warning glare. Not in public. The glare softens into something more curious than threatening.

“Natalis?” 

“Yes, Levi, Natalis. You know, Natalis Invicti, the one that’s in a few days? Food, wine, decorations, gifts, the birthday of our,” Hanji coughs accusingly before continuing, “Unconquerable sun?” 

“You know I don’t celebrate.” 

“But Eren does.” Levi falls still, and Hanji lets the statement sit. They think it might have finally dawned on Mr. Sunshine.

The two fearless Survey Corps officers make a lap of the town square, the space between them filled with the sounds of hooves, bells, laughter, and rusty gears grinding in someone’s head.

\---

Levi is mentally kicking himself. How could he have been so wrong? And why did it have to be Hanji who figured it out?

When Eren finally agreed to open up to him about what makes him so sad in the wintertime, he thought he understood.

It was the decorations and other assorted holiday bullshit that upset him, seeing all his fellow scouts going home to their families while he got left behind because he didn’t have one. 

He said it reminded him of how he used to celebrate the holiday with his family, and it made him miss them more than usual because the reminders are constant this time of year. Everywhere he looked, there were decorations, and when he looked outside, there was snow, and whether he was indoors or out, people around him were laughing and singing and joyful and _together_.

That’s why Levi thought he needed to avoid the holiday altogether. He would distract Eren from it until it was over. He wouldn’t bring it up in conversation, wouldn’t point anything out, wouldn’t take part in the festivities or traditions that everyone else did. He certainly wasn’t going to give him a gift for it. He said his parents always gave him gifts. That would’ve been the most blatant reminder there could be. 

_ Fuck. I thought he wanted to ignore the holiday, not celebrate it. I didn’t consider this at all. _

And, in not considering it, Levi also hadn’t thought of what kind of gift Eren would even like. The three things that immediately came to mind were food, luxury cleaning supplies, and sex, and Levi has a feeling that even if he could somehow combine the three of them, it wouldn’t be nearly as good of a gift as this one needed to be.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! _

The shit-star on the top of the goddamn shit-tree of a shitty situation is that he has Hanji to thank for saving the day. He’ll have to find some way to repay them if they were right. Depending on how well it goes, he might even let Hanji ask him another question about his dick. 

\---

“So…” Levi casually draws out the word, first to break the silence. “What should I get him?”

“You don’t know what to get your own,” Hanji catches themselves before saying something like shithead, or snuggle bug, or sweetie-pie titan-buns, or fiancé. “Little buddy?”

“My little _ buddy_?” Levi snorts, and that’s as much of a laugh as Hanji will get out of him.

“What should I call him, then?” _ Say fiancé, Levi, oh please say fiancé. _

“He has a name.” Levi feels itchy and uncomfortable. Something about that question makes him feel funny.

“Mmm-hmm, you know that’s not what I meant. What do you call him?” Hanji’s close enough to elbow Levi, so they do, and somehow they’re disappointed when they don’t receive a fist in return. Levi doesn’t act like he even noticed they’d done it. _ Oh, this is good. _

“He’s my…” Levi cuts himself off with a jolt and a violent shake of the head. He almost answered that. He hates how warm and sparkling Hanji’s smile is. _ Fuck this. _

“That just gave me an idea. You’ll love it, I promise. It’ll kill two birds with one stone.”

“Somehow, I don’t think I will.” Levi’s pensive mood unfortunately deprives his snappy comeback of its intended bite.

“Don’t you at least want to hear it before you decide? I know exactly what you should get him. And if you do, I won’t ever ask you what you call him again.” Hanji bounces in the saddle, outwardly expressing how unbelievably clever they are for coming up with such a perfect gift.

“Is that a promise?” _ Goddammit, what am I doing? _

“Oh, yes. I’ll never need to ask you ever again. Well?” 

“Let’s hear it.” Levi hopes he didn’t sound as curious and hopeful as he feels.

“A ring!” Hanji squeals, clapping at their own genius.

“A ri–...oh.” Levi shuts himself up a second too late. He swallows thickly, opening his mouth to object, but he shuts it again when no words come to him. _ Hanji, I hate you so much. _

“See? Two birds, one ring! You have your gift; I have my answer! So, what do you think?” Hanji stares expectantly at Levi, and what they see intrigues them. If it were the other way around, Levi would tell them they look constipated. _ He’s thinking about it, I can tell. _

“Hanji, it’s… He’s too… It’s too…” Levi sighs, groaning to himself for taking the bait again. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it before. In fact, he’s thinking about it right now, and he can’t stop.

_ But_… _ Eren, he’s just so… I don’t even know if I’ll be a good… What if he… _

Levi shakes himself out of it. He can’t be thinking about that sort of thing. He regains his composure and tries for a last-minute save. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s a man.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed.” Hanji winks and wiggles their eyebrows, and Levi’s already prying another fish hook out of his cheek.

“What do you mean by that?” Levi squints as threateningly as he can, though he’s not sure if the biggest dumbass in the world can threaten even a mouse at this point. An earful of hysterical laughter confirms Levi’s doubts. He shrinks and stares at the saddle horn. 

“Fine, since I walked into it, I’ll give you that one. But the fact of the matter still stands, and you know it. Even if I did, hypothetically, ask him to,” Levi pauses in the middle of his sentence to gesture at nothing, “with a ring and all that, it wouldn’t mean anything.” Levi really, really, really wants to stop talking about this now.

“Maybe not legally, but… You know, it’s the strangest thing. Just a minute ago, I was talking to Levi Ackerman, but he seems to have disappeared. I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve been introduced. My name is Hanji Zoë, and you are?” Hanji looks nowhere near as friendly as they sound. In homage to the man himself, Hanji dons the signature death glare of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. 

“Oh, you look so much like him, but you’re not the Levi Ackerman I know. The real Levi is madly in love with someone, and that’s how I know you’re not the real Levi–because the Levi I know and love wouldn’t give two shits about something as silly as the legality of a marriage. For fuck’s sake, he was the head of the most notorious bla–”

“Hanji!” Hanji’s mouth snaps shut audibly when Levi raises his voice. 

“Just something to think about.” _ You coward. _ “Shall we go look for a gift that requires a little less commitment?”

Levi indulges in a few moments of sulking, and Hanji savors the cold shoulder they rightfully earned until Levi slides from the saddle with a pathetic sigh and surrenders.

\---

Hanji was of no help. Every time Levi asked for ideas, Hanji just answered, “you’ll know it when you see it.”

Levi was at the end of his rope and about to give up. Hanji was annoying the shit out of him, so he sent them outside before the impending fratricide happened in front of witnesses. It was at this moment in time that the goddesses seemed to take pity on Levi. As soon as Hanji pranced out the door, Levi groaned because Hanji was right. He saw it. He _knew. _

Levi wasn’t just relieved that he found his gift for Eren; he was relieved that Hanji hadn’t _seen _him finding it and therefore couldn’t gloat about how obnoxiously fucking right they were.

There was only one little problem with it.

It wasn’t for sale.

Levi asked the shopkeeper if he’d reconsider. The shopkeeper was adamant.

Levi wasn’t opposed to obtaining it by other means, but since it’s a gift for Eren, he’d rather not go that route unless it was necessary.

Fortunately for one of them, Levi learned more than one important skill during his youth. 

Levi wasn’t in the mood to waste time haggling, so he skipped all the game-playing and polite manipulation and went right for intimidation.

He pulled out his wallet, slapped a stack of bills onto the counter, and waited. He didn’t even know how much money he put down, only that it was more than enough. When the shopkeeper took too long to answer, Levi leaned menacingly over the counter and stared him down.

It took most of the day, all his money, and the rest of his sanity, but Levi finally had it.

He hopes Eren likes it.

\---

Even though Hanji was acting weirder than usual when they returned to headquarters, Levi didn’t have it in him to care.

He went straight to his room and lost track of time; he didn’t know how long he’d been sitting at his desk, turning the object over and over in his hand while lost deep in thought. When he heard a key turning in the lock, he panicked and shoved the item into the top drawer of his desk and tried to play it cool when Eren walked over to kiss him, standing so close to where his gift was hiding.

Even though Eren is with him, Levi has a hard time falling asleep. There’s too much on his mind. He’s too anxious. Eren is squirming too much and doing all kinds of weird things like giggling and smiling at him every two seconds. 

Did Eren drink coffee again? What’s the matter with him? Levi asks him outright, but all Eren says is “nothing!” 

Levi detects an unusual but not unpleasant scent on Eren’s hair, and he thinks he’s found his answer. Eren must’ve gotten ahold of some sugary food. It’s not often that he gets to have that type of treat, so naturally, he goes overboard whenever he does. The time there was both sugar _and _coffee, Levi kicked him out of bed.

He’s not kicking him out tonight, no matter what. Not even if he farts and traps his head under the blanket again.

Well, maybe he’ll kick him off the bed for that one, but he’ll let him back up if he apologizes.

_ Only a few more days, _Levi thinks and then finally succumbs to his mental exhaustion, falling asleep before Eren.

_ Tomorrow, _Eren thinks, and there’s no way he’s getting any sleep tonight.

  
  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Despite Eren’s weird squirming, Levi did eventually sleep, and deeply, apparently. Eren’s side of the bed was cold and empty when he woke up. Levi is, by nurture more than nature, a light sleeper, so he’s surprised that he somehow slept through Eren getting out of bed and leaving.  
  
Levi drags himself out of his cold bed with a sad sigh and starts getting ready for another day without Eren.

\---

“My, someone’s up early!” Hanji says as the door to their lab opens without anyone having knocked. They don’t mind. They were already awake and had a feeling they’d be receiving an early visitor today.  
  
“Oh, uh.” Eren is looking at his feet and scratching the back of his head, realizing his mistake. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in on you.”  
  
“You’re fine. I was wondering when you would show up. Permission granted.”  
  
“Wh–huh?” Maybe he should’ve slept longer because whatever Hanji just said to him makes no sense at all. Perhaps he should have just slept, _period. _But come on! How could anyone be expected to sleep when they’re this excited? “Permission for what?”  
  
_ Shit, did Hanji read my mind? Have they been able to read people’s thoughts this whole time? Oh god… _  
  
Eren shakes his head when the tiny part of his brain that makes logic happen wakes up before the rest of it does. If Hanji truly can read minds, they wouldn’t have to ask so many questions about Levi’s dick. Relief washes over Eren, only for his confusion to return.  
  
“Permission to _leave_, Eren.”  
  
“But… how did–” Eren’s doubts about Hanji’s psychic powers return. _ But then why do they ask… _  
  
“Armin told me. Now, go on, go enjoy your honeymoon, and I’ll be waiting for you to report back with all the details!” It takes a few long seconds for the blush to reach Eren’s ears, and then a few more for the scowl. Hanji chuckles. A-dor-a-ble.  
  
“It’s not–!”  
  
“Actually, maybe you should give Levi a chance to eat breakfast first. He’s going to need his energy.” Hanji waggles their eyebrows, and Eren’s sputtering is his only form of comeback.  
  
Though Eren hasn’t fully regained his composure, he manages to get a few words out.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Blessed Natalis, Eren.”  
  
The two smile warmly at each other. With that, Eren’s vacation officially begins.

\---

Armin is up before breakfast because he knew Eren would be, and he was right. Truth be told, he’s almost as excited about this as Eren is. He’s incredibly happy for him and, shamefully, happy to be rid of him for a few days.  
  
“Armin! Can you help me–” Once again, Eren gets another answer to a question he hasn’t asked yet.  
  
“I already tacked the horses. There’s a few carrots and an apple in each of their saddlebags, don’t forget to give them their Christmas gift, too.” Armin’s blue eyes sparkle in the cold morning sunlight, and his smile warms Eren more than the sun.  
  
“Thank you, Armin. For everything.” Eren’s eyes are sparkling too, and he crashes into Armin for a hug so tight that they both lose their breath.  
  
They walk back to the main building in excited silence, and Armin turns to Eren just before he leaves.  
  
“Don’t forget to eat breakfast. Levi, too.”  
  
“Okay, _ mom_.”  
  
They smile brightly at each other. And with that, _ Armin’s _vacation officially begins.  
  


\---

For the first time, Eren wasn’t at breakfast.  
  
Also, for the first time, Levi doesn’t finish his oatmeal. Even his tea tasted bitter this morning.  
  
He goes back to his room, inviting no one else to the pity party he’s throwing today.  
  
Levi flops down into his chair and, with a pathetic sigh, opens the top drawer of his desk. What he’d thrown in there last night shines in the morning light, and the sight of it lifts his mood somewhat. Still holding it in his hand, he gets up from his chair and walks over to the window to look out over the freshly fallen snow, hoping he’ll see Eren outside. He turns it over in his fingers; it reminds him of Eren’s sparkling eyes, and though it makes Levi miss him that much more, he’s comforted by the knowledge that Eren will eventually return.  
  
And Eren does return. In fact, he’s barging into the room at this very moment. Startled, Levi almost drops it, but he catches it in his palm and shoves it into his pocket right in the nick of time, because before he knows it, Eren’s got an arm around him and is leaning in to kiss his neck.  
  
Levi sighs in relief. Closing his eyes and smiling, he says a silent thank you to whatever star or deity he’d unintentionally wished to.  
  
“Beautiful morning,” Levi says, and Eren is still smothering him with kisses on every exposed area of skin. It’s a bit early for that, but he won’t complain. He didn’t complain about going before breakfast yesterday. He does, however, feel like complaining when Eren’s lips disappear.  
  
“I have a surprise for you!” Eren lilts, immense excitement evident in his cheerful voice.  
  
“Oh?” Levi questions with a raised eyebrow. He thinks he knows what it is, and it’s really not much of a surprise because it’s still pressed against his backside. “Let me guess. Is it in your pants?” After saying it, Levi remembers that he also has a surprise for Eren in his pants, though, strangely, it’s a lot harder than Eren’s is.  
  
“No! Well… maybe?” That’s not the surprise, but that is part of it, so he’s technically not wrong.  
  
“Mmm-_hmm._” Levi hums, not entirely convinced, but suddenly curious.  
  
“Come on, let’s go!”  
  
“Go where?” Levi asks. Eren is bouncing on his toes with the biggest, dumbest, most beautiful grin.  
  
“I told you, it’s a surprise! Come on, put your coat on, let’s go!”  
  
Levi dutifully obeys, and though he is somewhat suspicious, he has to admit that Eren’s excitement is contagious. With a flutter in his chest, Levi locks the door behind him and follows the little shit who is actually _skipping _down the hall.  
  


\---  
  


The castle faded off into the distance long ago, along with the rest of civilization. Where the fuck are they going? Eren won’t tell him no matter how many times he asks. Levi changes his strategy.  
  
“Are we there yet?”  
  
“Almost!” Eren says, his horse trotting ahead of Levi’s. He’s tempted to make it a full gallop. Hell, he’s tempted to shift and just carry the horses _and_ Levi and run the rest of the way. They’re wasting valuable time!  
  
The sun’s in a different position from the last time Levi asked. It’s over their heads, and it feels good on his chilled skin whenever they emerge from the shade of the enormous, snow-heavy pines.  
  
“Eren,” Levi hisses, and thankfully Eren can hear him over the snow crunching beneath hooves. “Eren, stop. Shh.”  
  
Eren is immediately on high alert. _Shit, are there titans? But we’re still in Rose!_ _Shit! Did they get in?!_  
  
“What is it,” Eren whispers back, looking all around him for the unseen danger.  
  
“Look.” Levi points through the trees.  
  
“Where? I don’t see anything.” Eren tries not to panic. Levi seems calm but alert, but then again, Levi is always calm and alert, so that doesn’t help.  
  
“There, in the tree. Do you see it?” Levi points up to a specific branch on the naked tree in front of him.  
  
“What? Levi, I don’t see it. Is there a bird? Is someone up there?” _Okay, at least it’s not a titan. That’s a relief, especially since we don’t have our gear.__  
_  
“That. That right there.” Levi stabs his finger toward it, and Eren follows the line of sight.  
  
“All I see is a big-ass icicle.”  
  
“That’s no icicle, Eren,” Levi says, turning to Eren with a grave expression. Eren looks so fucking worried that Levi has a hard time keeping a straight face. He lets the tension build for a few seconds. Right when Eren looks about ready to combust from thinking too hard, Levi reveals the source of his concern. “That, right there, is my dick right now.”  
  
Eren blinks away his confusion, and maybe he took a little longer than he’s proud to admit because Levi is already laughing at him by the time he leans over to swat at him. Levi dodges the blow, naturally.  
  
“Huh. You sure? It’s usually a lot smaller than that when you’re cold.”  
  
“Smartass.” Levi rolls his eyes, and Eren’s fucking smiling at him again, and somehow he feels less cold than before. Doesn’t change the fact that he’s fucking freezing, but he knows what will. “I’m freezing my balls off. Let me ride with you.”  
  
“You big baby. We’re almost there.” Despite the quip, Eren makes room in the saddle, and soon Levi is happily wrapped in Eren’s freakish-yet-perfect titan warmth. “Better?”  
  
“Much.”  
  
Eren even let Levi slip his hands into his gloves. Neither of them knows they’re both thinking the same thing.  
  
_I wish we could ride like this all the time._  
  


\---  
  


Levi recognizes where they are. The route was familiar to him, but he didn’t think this was where Eren intended to bring him, or why he even would in the first place. They didn’t bring bows or rifles or fishing poles, so this can’t be a hunting trip. Maybe they’re just stopping here for a rest.  
  
It snowed last night, but not enough to cover the tracks around the front of the farmhouse.  
  
“Surprise!” Eren turns his horse to face Levi, dying to see his reaction, but the reaction he sees is not the one he expected. Levi’s blinking at him with a puzzled look on his face.  
  
“That’s one way to put it.” Levi furrows his brow as he scans the area. He’s no closer to figuring it out than he was when Eren announced it in his bedroom earlier. Since Eren’s dismounting, Levi follows his lead, still waiting for an explanation. He follows Eren to the door, which Eren holds open for him. Always the gentleman. “So, are you going to tell me why we’re at this shit… hole.”  
  
Levi trails off once he sees what’s inside.  
  
The ramshackle little cabin looks nothing like it did when they were here last.  
  
From the looks of it, the house has been thoroughly cleaned, and there are rugs on the floor and chairs at the table. Also, there’s a fucking tree in the living room. It looks like someone’s been living here.  
  
This is almost as much of a surprise for Levi as being brought here to begin with. They came across the property and its owner on their hunting trip, which is what gives Levi pause. The house appeared to be abandoned at first glance, but when the owner rode up to the group of scouts from the fields out back, he struck up a conversation with Levi. That’s when Levi learned that the house wasn’t abandoned per se, just uninhabited, only really ever occupied during planting and harvest seasons.  
  
The farmer’s family outgrew the house, so he’d built a new one at the far opposite end of the property for his family to live in and mainly used this one as a storage shed of sorts. The farmer was more than happy to offer it to the heroic Captain and his brave soldiers for the night. He was a very kind man, Levi fondly recalls. Even offered them food.  
  
That’s why it seems very strange to him to see Eren entering what appears to be a decidedly _not _vacant home without knocking.  
  
“Eren?” Of all the things Levi expected, which, come to think of it, amounted to zero things, but, well… Even if he _had_ expected something, it wouldn’t have been this.  
  
He didn’t expect to be breaking into someone’s farmhouse out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere with Eren smiling like the sun over it.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Levi.”  
  
Merry what? Levi feels something weird get lodged in his throat, though he doesn’t know what it is or why he’s choking on it all of a sudden. Levi is utterly lost for words, and the only thing that brings him out of his daze is what Eren says next.  
  
“Sorry, I know it’s weird, but we’ll need to bring the horses inside tonight.”  
  
Levi is once again at a loss and blinking dumbly at the most confusing person in the universe.  
  
“What.”  
  
“We can’t leave them out in the cold all night! Don’t worry; I brought a big canvas tarp for them to st–”  
  
“Eren,” Levi mutters more intimidatingly than he intended.  
  
“Yeah?” Eren swallows so loudly Levi can hear it.  
  
“What kind of house is this?”  
  
“Uh… a cabin?” _ Does Levi not like it? Oh, no… _ _  
_  
Levi crosses his arms and shakes his head at Eren’s wrong answer. “Where are we? I don’t mean what village, I mean, where are we standing right now?”  
  
“The… front door?”  
  
“What’s that out back?” Levi nods his head toward the snow-covered field behind the house. Even covered in snow, the answer should be obvious from the rows of broken fences and the rusting contraption off to the side. Eren shrugs. “It’s a farm. What kinds of things do they have on farms?”  
  
“Oh, uh. Vegetables? Chickens? Sheep?” Eren didn’t think there would be a test today, considering he’s been out of the academy for years.  
  
“That’s right, Eren. There are animals on a farm. Where do animals sleep?” Honestly, Levi feels kinda bad for picking on Eren like this, but it’s too much fun. He’ll apologize later.  
  
“In a barn…?”  
  
“Like that one over there?” Levi gives the kid a break and drops the Captain Levi act. There’s a slight upturn to his lips, and his eyes are soft with amusement.  
  
“What barn? I don’t see a barn! Where–Oh. What?! There’s a barn here? How the hell did I miss that?”  
  
“Idiot,” Levi laughs softly and pulls Eren down for a kiss. “It’s cold out here.”  
  
Eren positively beams and then closes the door behind them.  
  


\---  
  


“Make yourself comfortable, Levi. I’m gonna get the fire going and make you some tea.”  
  
Levi, still a little kiss-dazed, watches Eren shrug off his winter coat and hang it on the rack next to the door and then prance off into the kitchen like he owned the place. He looks around the interior of the small farmhouse, making note of the sparse furnishings and decor. The air is warmer than outside, indicating that a fire had been lit at some point, but there are no other sounds besides the ones he and Eren are making, for example, the soft _fuck_ that just came from the kitchen.  
  
Levi blinks a few times, unnerved but not particularly alarmed when Eren marches back toward the door with a sheepish grimace and cheeks that Levi assumes are still pink from the cold.  
  
“Sorry, I’ll clean it up,” Eren mumbles as he approaches, and that’s when Levi picks up on another detail.  
  
He watches Eren bend to tug off his boots. He follows the movement and lands on the woven mat beside the coat rack. Only one pair of boots. His eye follows the path Eren took and sees only one set of slushy boot-prints going back and forth between the front door and the kitchen. The rest of the floor is spotless.  
  
“Aren’t you going to take your boots off?”  
  
Levi shakes off the distraction, but when he looks up from the doormat, Eren’s already back in the kitchen and holding a towel. He has so many questions.  
  
“How long are we staying?” Among the questions Levi has is why he didn’t ask the important one first. _Why did we break into someone’s house?__  
_  
“Oh, um,” Eren pauses, staring at the towel under his foot, seemingly caught off guard by the question. Levi watches him chew his lip for a second, growing more confused with every silent second that passes. When, at long last, Eren turns his big, sparkling green eyes up from the floor to meet Levi’s, the color on his cheeks is even deeper. “A few days, I think?”  
  
“A few–_What_?” Levi just keeps blinking at Eren, who is blushing and biting his lip and looking back down at his socked foot pushing a dish-towel in stuttering arcs along the cabin’s hardwood floor.  
  
“I, um. Kinda forgot to ask Hanji how long we’re allowed to stay.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“At least until Christmas.” _Well, Hanji never said we had to be back by a specific date. I wonder if we could get away with…__  
_  
“_What???_” There’s that word again. Christmas? The fuck does that even mean?  
  
“What’s wrong?” Eren’s heart drops when he sees the look on Levi’s face. He’s not smiling like he hoped he would be. It’s completely blank. Eren desperately searches Levi’s eyes for answers. _Is he angry? Does he want to leave? Am I in trouble? His eyebrows are usually lower when he’s angry, and he’s not doing that thing with his lips. Wait… is he… he’s not angry. He’s…_ “Levi?” Eren asks cautiously, bracing himself in case he’s wrong, waiting to see if Levi’s expression changes.  
  
It does. Levi’s brow furrows ever so slightly, and the sliver of space between his lips disappears as if he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. _Shit._  
  
“Do you… not know why we’re here?” Eren asks, and Levi’s answer is just him continuing to stare at him like he has something on his face. Surprisingly, that makes Eren feel a million times better, and the suddenness of his smile seems to startle Levi. Still, Eren wipes his face just in case.  
  
“Does it look like I know why we’re here?”  
  
That makes two important details forgotten, and hopefully, they’re the only two. Eren’s even more grateful for all of Armin’s help. He shudders to think what a disaster this might have been if he hadn’t had Armin looking out for him.  
  
Now that some of the excitement has worn off, Eren can think a bit clearer. He made the mistake of just assuming Levi knew why he brought him here, and now he owes him an explanation.  
  
“We’re spending Christmas together.”  
  
His explanation only seems to have made Levi even more confused than before.  
  
They’re going to need another pot of tea.  
  


\---  
  


“So this entire time you’ve been…” Levi’s glad he’s sitting down. He almost dropped his tea. He glares at his teacup just in case; if he threatens it hard enough, maybe it won’t get any ideas.  
  
“Surprise.” Eren smiles warmly and reaches across the table to poke Levi’s hand.  
  
Levi huffs into his tea a few times. _ Surprise. _  
  
When Levi finally looks away from his tea, he regrets paying so much attention to it. Eren is grinning at him, and his eyes are shining, and Eren must be getting impatient because he’s playing footsie with him under the table, but what is he supposed to say?  
  
All his worrying over Eren’s weird behavior, all those nights he spent alone and missing him… and all this time he was…  
  
He woke up alone in bed this morning, resigned to having to endure another lonely day without Eren’s company. But now here he is, sitting across from the fucking sun incarnate at a rickety little table in a farmhouse in the peaceful countryside, no interruptions, no distractions, just the two of them. _ Fuck. _  
  
“So, what do you want to do first?”  
  
The very first answer that pops into Levi’s head is _you, on the table, right this fucking minute, let’s go_, but maybe that’s not what Eren had in mind. Who is he kidding, that’s always on Eren’s mind, but he brought him out here for a reason. Okay, that’s probably the reason, too, but considering he didn’t jump his bones the minute they walked in, it’s obviously not the only one. He’s curious about what Eren has planned for them, so he decides not to say the first thing that came to mind. He’ll let Eren decide.  
  
“Whatever you want.”  
  
Levi’s assumption was correct. He didn’t miss the flicker of evidence in Eren’s eyes when he said that, nor did he miss the way Eren licked his lip. It turns out both of his assumptions were correct, though, because Eren snuffed the flame, cleared his throat, and gave a different answer than the one Levi anticipated.

  
\---

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help with that?” Levi asks, cringing at the gooey pile of eggshells on the counter. He catches a flash of white out of the corner of his eye as one of them falls to the floor, flinching when the shell explodes into a brand new puddle of goo. It wasn’t a shell, after all. He sighs.  
  
“You just sit back and relax. You get to help me with the fun part,” Eren grins over his shoulder at Levi, too excited to notice Levi’s distress.  
  
Levi continues watching Eren struggle to mix together all the stuff he dumped into a bowl. Flour spills over the side, joining the growing mess on the countertop. Levi may not be very experienced in the kitchen, but he knows for a fact that that’s gonna turn into glue when it dries. He makes the executive decision to disregard Eren’s order when Eren grunts, frowns at his spoon and tosses it aside. A cloud of flour poofs from the bowl when Eren shoves his hands into it, proper kitchen tools abandoned in favor of mixing the dough by hand, literally.  
  
Levi pushes his chair back with another sigh. He grabs a towel.  
  


\---  
  


Eren slaps a lump of brown mush onto the table in front of Levi, sitting down on the opposite side of the table with his own portion.  
  
“So what you do is you take one of these,” Eren offers Levi a wooden dowel before continuing, “and then you roll it over the dough to make it flat.”  
  
Eren demonstrates but curses when the dough sticks to the dowel when he rolls it across the lump. “Shit, uh. Well, first, you cover this thing in flour, and then you roll it.”  
  
The pair work quietly as their dough flattens with only minor disobedience this time.  
  
“How thin am I supposed to make this, and why?” Levi asks, concentrating on his task until he’s made a near-perfect circle of uniform thickness. The only time he remembers seeing someone roll out dough was to make a pie crust, which he assumes is what they’re trying to do. He isn’t sure, though. Eren hasn’t explained.  
  
“That’s probably good,” Eren answers, looking up from his own crooked, lumpy, vaguely rectangular sheet of dough and sees Levi’s perfectly flat circle. _ Showoff. _ “Now, we cut it into… shapes.” Eren shudders.  
  
“What shape am I supposed to make? And how am I supposed to cut it?”  
  
“My mother always used these metal things,” _ Shit, I forgot that, too. Good. _ “But I don’t have any of those, so I guess we just have to use knives.” Eren leaves, opens a drawer, makes a lot of noise, and then eventually returns to the table with one butter knife and one hunting knife. Levi goes for the hunting knife.  
  
“This is something you used to do with your mother, then.” Levi’s mood drops at the mention of Eren’s mother, worried that Eren’s mood is about to drop even lower.  
  
“Yeah,” Eren replies with a soft sigh, and Levi is relieved that it sounds more wistful than sad. “We always used to do this at Christmastime.”  
  
“Like a family tradition.” Levi never had any of his own.  
  
“Mmm-hmm. There’s a story behind why you do this, but it’s kinda weird,” Eren frowns, his knife hovering over the dough. _ Fuck it. I’m here to make new memories. Might as well start with this. _  
  
“Tell me.” Eren never specified what shape to make, so Levi comes up with his own and gets to work while Eren tells him the story.  
  
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” As an adult, the stories don’t scare him, but he was never a particularly well-behaved child, so at the time, they were quite frightening.  
  
This is gonna be good, Levi can already tell. Eren takes a deep breath.  
  
“Some of the details are a little fuzzy, I was really young when they used to tell us the story every year, but I remember the gist of it. A long time ago, the goddess Maria, you know, the wall one?”  
  
“I know the one.” Levi’s done with his first shape, and he already has an idea for what to make next.  
  
“Ok. So, a long time ago, she had a son, and she sent him out into the world to judge people for their sins. He had long, sharp claws, and he wore blood-red robes trimmed with animal fur. Every year on the anniversary of his birth–"

"You mean his birthday."

"Whatever."

"Continue."

"On his _birthday_, bells would ring in the north, and he’d emerge from his slumber beneath the snow on a flying horse with eight legs, and the horse would breathe fire from its nose and light his way through the night.”  
  
“What the fuck.” This is even better than he thought it would be. Levi doesn’t look up from the shape taking form under the point of his knife, the tip of his tongue peeking out in concentration.  
  
“Oh, it gets better. So, he flies around on his magic horse to judge the misdeeds of everyone in the entire world, and, get this; he visits _everyone _in the_ world _at the same time. Or something like that. Anyway. His horse lands on your roof in the middle of the night, and he sneaks into your house through the chimney with a list of every person’s good and bad deeds. If you were only kinda bad and did some good deeds too, he’d just beat you with a switch. If you were really bad, he’d stuff you in a bag and throw you in the river after he beat you.”  
  
“Maria, they told this story to _ kids_?”  
  
“Every year. There were even songs about it. Like the one warning you not to cry because he’d come to your town on a silent night to punish you for it, and the one about bells ringing while he slayed sinners on his horse, laughing while he did it.”  
  
“So, what, do you make these–what are these, cookies?–do you make these in the shape of him or something?” Levi finally looks up from where he’s carving his dough. He can’t believe what he’s hearing.  
  
“Fuck no. It’s way worse.”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

“Oh, I shit you not. You’re supposed to make little _ people _ out of dough and bake them.”  
  
“Why people?”  
  
“It was a kind of offering or something. Everyone in the house would hang one of their socks from the mantle and put a human-shaped cookie in each of them, so he’d see them right when he came out of the fireplace. I think they were supposed to trick him into thinking they were you, or they were sweets to bribe him into sparing you. I’ve heard both.” Now that he’s older, Eren finds the tradition of someone breaking into your house and eating things shaped like people is a million times more gruesome.  
  
“Gross _and_ fucked up. Nice.”  
  
“If he judged your deeds to be good and just, you’d survive. He’d take the cookie out of your sock, and depending on how good you were, he’d leave a little gift in there for you. Weird stuff like coal, but sometimes good stuff like candy and pears. Sorta good people got red and white candy shaped like sticks as a warning that you’re on thin ice,” _ Ice. That reminds me. Oh god, when am I going to give him his gift? Shit, I’ll think about that later. _ _  
_  
“But the really good people got things like bells made of silver, or gold coins you could eat. And if you were really, _ really _ good, and you had one of these trees in your house, you’d wake up and find a pair of doves nesting in the tree, and they’d have golden rings on their necks.”  
  
“Since you’re still alive, I’m guessing you either got beat with switches or got coal,” Levi chuckles, sitting back and observing his doughy masterpiece.  
  
“Asshole,” Eren laughs. “I got gifts, though I’m pretty sure my parents put them there because they were mostly those red and white sticks.”  
  
“Does the horror end there, or is there more? And I’m finished carving, now what?”  
  
“Nope, that’s about it. There you have it, the legend of the son of Maria. And now we bake them. Let me get the thing. We gotta put them in the oven.” Eren gets up and wipes his hands on the front of his pants, which earns him a disapproving look from Levi. He returns with a metal sheet, sets it in the center of the table, and starts arranging his dough shapes on it.  
  
“The fuck is that?” Levi asks, carefully peeling the spare dough from around his shapes, slipping his knife under them once they’ve been freed.  
  
“What do you mean, what is that? It’s obviously a cat. Have you really never seen a cat before?” Eren says, offended that Levi isn’t praising his artistic abilities. Levi gently deposits a couple of his shapes onto the tray beside Eren’s, and once Eren gets a good look at what Levi’s been working so hard on all this time, he glares at him. “Levi.”  
  
“Hm?” Levi doesn’t look up, too busy trying to loosen the dough shape that got stuck to the table.  
  
“Did you make a dick?”  
  
“Mmm-hmm.” _ Ah, there we go. Onto the tray with you. _ _  
_  
“Did you make _ two _ dicks?” Eren says in disbelief.  
  
“No, that one’s a sword, and that one’s maneuver gear. You don’t like it? I know how much you love eating dick, so I made that one special for you.” Levi chuckles, very proud of his work. Way better than Eren’s cat, and whatever those other things are.  
  
“Awe, how sweet,” Eren coos in mock-appreciation.  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
“Well, it’s still raw, so I won’t be able to eat it until it’s done baking. But that’s going to take some time, and I’m pretty hungry, so in the meantime, maybe I could eat yours?”  
  
“Now that you mention it, I’m feeling a bit hungry myself.”  
  
Eren nearly drops the tray in his rush to get it into the oven.

\---

“Fuck, _fuck_, Levi, right there, right there!” Eren gasps, eyes rolling into the back of his head when Levi gets the angle just right.  
  
“Shit, Eren, if you keep squeezing me like that, I’m gonna come,” Levi pants, trying desperately to hold himself back until Eren comes. But Eren’s so fucking hot and tight, clenching down on his cock and clawing at his back and moaning into his ear, and fuck, he’s so fucking good.  
  
“You say that,” Eren pants, gasping when Levi interrupts him with a particularly hard thrust against his prostate. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He clenches around Levi's cock even harder to make his point.  
  
“You first, though. How close ar–” Levi stops thrusting, cutting himself off. Something’s wrong.  
  
“Fuck! Why’d you stop?” Eren squirms, trying to roll his hips, but he’s pinned flat to the floor, so it doesn’t have the desired effect. He needs Levi’s cock sliding in and out of him again, _ needs _it, and he needs it _now. _  
  
“Eren, what’s that smell?” Levi’s head is raised, and he’s looking around the room.

“Hey! Don’t you blame it on me, that was you this… Oh, shit.” Eren doesn’t know how he didn’t notice the smell before, but he sure as hell notices the smoke.  
  
“How long were you supposed to leave them in for?”  
  
“I think they need another minute or two. Longer if you don’t hurry up.”  
  
Since they’re already ruined, he might as well finish.  
  
  
  
  
  



	14. Chapter 14

So what if the first batch of gingerbread cookies was a disaster? It was Eren’s first time making them all by himself. And, hey, the best way to learn something is through experience, right? Practice makes perfect and all that. 

Luckily there were enough scraps of dough leftover to produce a second small batch, one which he wouldn’t take his eyes off of until they were baked to perfection. That is if he could keep his eyes off Levi. He’ll compromise and gawk at him from the kitchen.

The second batch was a success. Neither of them bothered with shapes this time, with one exception: Eren fashioned the last smooshed scraps of dough into a heart and slipped it onto the baking sheet without Levi noticing. After presenting it to Levi, quips regarding body parts were exchanged, and though Levi tried to play it off, the faint pink dusted over Levi’s cheeks communicated all Eren needed to know.

By now, the sun was setting, and as early as it was, being the middle of winter and all, it nevertheless had Eren thinking about dinner. Since neither of them found dick-shaped charcoal to be particularly appealing despite the appetite they’d worked up while creating said phallic charcoal and the cookies that did survive would only hold them over so long, Eren told the clock to fuck off. Dinner is whenever he wants it to be, and he won’t let some shitty box of gears tell him otherwise.

Besides, he’s making enough for them to eat when they get hungry later. That’s all thanks to Armin, who helpfully sent along Sasha’s recipe book. Armin’s helpfulness didn’t stop there. Instead of leaving Eren to his own devices, he bookmarked specific recipes for him _and _made sure he had all the necessary ingredients. No wonder the shopping bags were so heavy.

_ God, I love that man, _ Eren thinks to himself. Upon noticing Levi sitting in front of the fireplace nursing a mug of tea and slowly munching on Eren’s heart, Eren’s next thought is, “not as much as I love this man.” _ Sorry, Armin, he’s number one, but you’re a close second. _

After their impromptu romp on the floor in the very place Levi is sitting (the romp which Eren’s ass just reminded him was made possible by Armin, who reminded him not to forget to bring “sex stuff," what a saint), Levi decided not to change back into his uniform, opting instead to put on the thick, comfortable woolen sweater Eren packed for him. Eren did the same with the green one he packed for himself.

No pants, though. But that merely makes Levi look even cuter in the sweater he’s practically drowning in. 

For the sake of convenience, Eren decided on forgoing pants as well. Easier access for round two, the hastening of which may or may not have been a factor in Eren’s decision to leave his ass hanging out. 

Eren sighs contentedly, observing Levi from the kitchen. Levi appears to be deep in thought. His attention is on the fire blazing in the hearth, but his gaze is vacant. Every now and again, he’ll take a bite of gingerbread and just sit there staring until he remembers he has food in his mouth and that chewing is essential to not choking, and therefore essential to not dying. But why does that even matter? Levi knows he’s already shuffled off the mortal coil and walked straight into heaven, and the angel in the kitchen with his asscheeks half out is proof.

To see Levi looking so peaceful and relaxed warms Eren more than the heat from the fireplace. It warms him more than the spicy, pungent dried root powder that he only sampled because it smelled so good. Lesson learned.

Eren wonders what Levi is thinking about.

As much as Eren wants to join Levi by the fireplace, he also knows that he needs to feed his adorable, pantsless captain. Dinner should be quick and easy enough to make. All he has to do is throw everything into a pot and heat it up. 

_ Okay, Armin, wish me luck. _

\---

“Eren, what the fuck are you doing?” There must be a half-meter class titan rampaging in the kitchen because Eren can’t conceivably be making that much noise on his own. Levi cautiously enters the kitchen, just in time to watch an onion roll off the countertop and bounce across the floor. 

“Making dinner?” Eren looks over his shoulder at Levi but then returns to his task. “Want more tea?”

“I can get it. You just continue doing… whatever it is you’re doing.” Levi spies the knife in Eren’s hand. “On second thought, why don’t I lend you a hand? It’s not fair for you to do all the work.” _ I’d also like you to not turn into a titan and break the house when you inevitably slice your fingers. _

“I don’t mind! You should just relax. You’re always working so hard. You could use the rest.”

“I insist. What kind of shitty excuse for a hu–” Levi stops himself before the whole word leaves his mouth. _ Shit, where did that come from?! _ “_Gentleman _ would I be if I let you slave away in the kitchen while I sit on my ass doing nothing?” Levi swallows, hoping Eren didn’t notice.

“Really, Levi, it’s fine.” Eren flinches when Levi suddenly appears beside him, and when he peers over, Levi’s arms are crossed, and he’s glowering at him. It would be a lot more intimidating if Levi had pants on, and his hair wasn’t mussed up from Eren running his fingers through it earlier. The sight shot directly to Eren’s crotch and caused him to shiver all over, but he mentally yells at his dick to shut up and go back to sleep. _ You’ll get your dessert _after _dinner! _

Upon seeing Eren flinch with a hunting knife in his hand, _ seriously, who the fuck uses a hunting knife to cut vegetables, _he concludes it’s time for a forceful takeover.

“Shut up, I’m helping, and if you don’t like it, you can kiss my ass. Now move over.”

“Oh, well, if that’s the case... I don’t like it. I really don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. Bend over.” Eren makes some stupid little kissy noises, and Levi’s _this close _to flicking the side of his head, but then… Knife. Yeah, better not.

“How did I fall in love with such a smartass little shit? Remind me.”

Levi sees his opportunity and goes for it. When Eren ducks in to kiss him, Levi snatches the knife off the cutting board and slides it far out of Eren’s reach.

“Hey!”

“Move over.” Now that the danger has passed, Levi bumps Eren with his hip to take his place at the cutting board. Eren stumbles, loudly objecting to his _gentleman's _rudeness but laughing at the same time. 

“Fine, if you’re dead set on helping, fill this pot with water.”

“Nope.”

“So you changed your mind?”

“I don’t want to do that. It’s boring. I want to feel a knife in my hand, Eren. See the steel gleaming as I slice through flesh, feel the satisfaction of my shitty orange enemies falling one by one while–”

“Maria, Levi! Are you getting turned on?” _ Why am _ I _ getting turned on? _

“Maybe.”

“Now would be the perfect time to make good on your promise, then. If I recall, you said that if I didn’t like–”

“Fill the fucking pot, Eren.”

\---

Levi is griping to himself about having to get dressed and trudge through the snow to take a leak in a shitty, filthy, disease-ridden, rickety old outhouse. He’s hardly three steps out the front door and already trying to imagine alternatives to sitting on the bench when the time comes. Unfortunately, the only reasonable alternative to getting an ass-full of splinters made of wood that god knows how many other people’s asses have touched involves freezing his junk off. 

His griping immediately came to an end once he stepped inside and saw that, while old and therefore rickety, none of the other things applied. Not only had Eren cleaned the cabin up to his impossible standards, but the latrine as well. It was practically sparkling. _ How the fuck did he manage that? Did he paint the walls? And wait… no way. Are you fucking serious? It can’t be. That’s brand new lumber. Did he seriously replace the toilet seat? Oh my god, I’m gonna marry the fuck out of that boy. Unbelievable._

Now the only thing Levi has to complain about is that they’re both too cold to take their pants back off after going outside. 

\---

“Is it done yet?” Levi asks, staring intently at the pot of soup over the fire. If he glares at it hard enough, maybe it’ll cook faster. That thing about a watched pot is bullshit. 

“I don’t know, maybe?” 

“How long were you supposed to cook it for?” 

“Uh. Maybe like an hour or so? I don’t remember. What time is it?” _ I suppose it would help if I knew what time I put it on. Can you burn soup? There’s no smoke, so that’s a good sign. _

“Time to fucking eat.”

“Eh… It’s probably ready. Go grab some bowls and that big spoon thing, and I’ll check.” 

Levi doesn’t waste a single second. It smells way too good. Miles better than anything they eat back at headquarters, unless it’s Sasha cooking. She always steals the good stuff. But Eren made this, so it’s obviously a million times better than even that.

“Ah, fuck!!!” Eren’s shouted curse is accompanied by a jarring clatter that has Levi running back to Eren in a hurry.

“Shit, what was that? Are you okay?” Levi scans the area for anything out of place. Soup’s not spilled. Fire is where it should be. The pot’s lid is on the floor. And Eren just hid his hand behind his back. 

“Nothing! I’m fine! I just dropped the lid, ha ha, I’m so clumsy!” Eren fights back his grimace because everything’s a-okay, nothing to worry about, dinner’s ready, yep! The steam? What steam? Oh, that’s from the, uh, soup. It’s hot, you know!

“Eren. Show me your hand.” Levi is putting the pieces together and is trying not to jump to conclusions but is genuinely on the verge of freaking out.

“I, uh. I can’t! I can’t because, well… It’s a surprise?” _ Hurry up, hurry up! Useless-ass titan powers! _

Levi looks between Eren and the heavy cast-iron lid. He glances at the pot over the fire and then back at Eren. Either he set his ass on fire, or he’s hiding something very, very bad behind his back. The last piece clicks into place.

“You dumbass. Really? Come over here, let me take a look at it. Hang on. I’ll get you some snow first.” _ Oh, Eren. _

“Hey, Levi, look!” Eren’s hand swings out from behind him, curled into a fist. Levi’s eyes are heavy with concern, but Eren knows exactly how to make Levi feel better. Suddenly Eren’s fist springs open like he’s tossing confetti in Levi’s face while he yells, “Surprise!”

Eren wiggles all five fingers and sees Levi’s body soften in relief, but Levi still doesn’t look any happier. Levi is actually _pouting. _

“Ready for soup?” Eren asks, hoping a change of subject will make Levi stop making that face, _please, Levi, stop making that face, I’m going to cry. Look, I made you food! Please? _

Instead of arguing, Levi reaches out and yanks on Eren’s wrist, Eren catching himself right before he crashes into Levi. Levi’s still frowning, staring at Eren’s hand, prying open his fingers to examine his palm. He discovers nothing amiss. Sighing, he curls Eren’s fingers back into a fist and kisses it before answering in a tone that’s 180 degrees from the one Eren expected.

“If I don’t get that soup in my stomach right this instant, I’m going to eat _you._” Levi didn’t realize how sexual that sounded until after he said it. Not that that’s a bad thing, but he’s way too hungry for that. Sex is just going to have to wait until after dinner. _ Unless it can happen during dinner? Nah, too messy. I’ll eat quickly. _

“Levi, you’re a titan now, too?! Hmm... Well, I guess I _ do _inject you with titan serum on a fairly regular basis, but I never knew it could work that way. Don’t worry; I won’t tell Hanji.” Eren winks at Levi, who counters with an excessively dramatic eye roll. 

“Food. Now.” For once, Levi is happy that Eren isn’t in the mood. Come to think of it, this might literally be the first time he’s had the chance to be happy about that. 

\---

“Eren, I think there’s something wrong with it.” Levi watches the green glop drop from his spoon and land back into the bowl with a gross splat. “It looks like vomit.”

“It didn’t look like that when I put everything in.” Eren frowns into his bowl of chunky, bright green slop. “Smells good, though. It’s probably fine. Just try it.”

“The one who can heal himself when it burns a hole through his guts should try it first.” It honestly does smell good, but it looks more like horse diarrhea than food. Looks like Eren’s going to take one for the team. He’s holding the spoon… Now he’s opening his mouth. _ Come on, just a little closer… There you go, good boy. Now to wait and see which part of him steam starts coming from. _

Eren isn’t screaming or puking or convulsing. He’s closing his eyes, tilting his head back, and _moaning_. Levi has never wanted to stab soup before, but there’s a first time for everything. He’s greener with jealousy than the slop in his bowl.

“I _ made _this? Holy shit, Levi, you have to taste it. Close your eyes if you have to.” Eren shoved another spoonful into his mouth before he even finished talking, which is enough to reassure Levi that Eren isn’t tricking him into eating something that looks like it came out of both ends of an exceedingly ill individual. Eren freezes with his spoon in his mouth, waiting with hopeful, smiling eyes for Levi’s feedback.

Levi dips his spoon and takes a good look at it, Eren staring at him all the while. Eren, who whisked him away to the countryside and baked cookies for him and cooked dinner for him and probably still has his come inside him, is waiting for him to try his soup, and he looks so adorably excited about it that Levi couldn’t say no if he tried. Levi shrugs. Down the hatch.

Eren waits for Levi to say something, but he never does. That’s perfectly fine with him because watching Levi’s eyes widen when he put his spoon in his mouth was all the answer he needed. Seeing Levi shovel in another spoonful before fully swallowing the first one is even better. Eren is beaming, both internally and externally. _ I made something Levi likes! _

Levi downs the whole serving in under a minute and holds his empty bowl out for more. When Eren sees him licking a smudge of it from the corner of his mouth before gazing at him with eyes twinkling like snow from a deep blue sky on a starry night, Eren’s heart stops. 

_ I'm gonna make this for him every night. _

\---

Eren’s on his second bowl, and Levi’s on his third.

Eren can usually eat twice as much as Levi in half the amount of time, but something is distracting him from his hunger at the moment, and, astoundingly, the distraction isn’t Levi. Kind of. 

The distraction is wrapped in brown butcher paper and sitting under the tree.

After a while, Levi eventually noticed Eren continually glancing over at the tree, but he paid it no mind. There are more important things to worry about right now. Namely, soup, and estimating how much of it his stomach can physically hold without rupturing and if it’ll fill his esophagus and start oozing out his nose before or after that point. 

It’s when Eren stops eating entirely and starts biting his lip that Levi senses something’s up with Sasha’s new rival. Eren keeps glancing at the tree, so Levi does, too. He sees nothing unusual. Only a scraggly pine tree dying a slow death indoors, and there’s an innocent enough looking box under it. No wild animals, no bird’s nest, no spiders. Or… no spiders that he can _see_. Levi shudders so hard that he almost drops his precious soup.

And now Eren’s knees are bouncing. Yeah, something’s definitely up.

Levi opens his mouth to ask what his problem is at the exact same time Eren does, and they end up talking over each other, Levi calmly and Eren… not.

“Eren, why the fu–”

“Levi, I have somet–!”

Levi doesn’t mind Eren interrupting him while he’s speaking, but whatever it is that Eren interrupted him for better not interfere with him making sweet, sweet love to his fourth bowl of soup.

\---

“Damn, Levi, where are you putting all that?!” Eren, while extraordinarily pleased about it, is nonetheless disturbed by the discovery that his boyfriend is a bottomless pit. 

“My mowf,” says Levi through a mouthful of soup, shocking Eren by speaking before swallowing. Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers, Levi thinks, raising an eyebrow at Eren for emphasis. 

“How are you even still hungry?” Levi shrugs, and Eren blinks at him several times in disbelief. _He ate more than me and spoke with his mouth full. Who _are _you, and what have you done with Captain Levi? _ “Hurry up and finish. The soup will still be here later!” Or will it? Eren glances at the soup pot. _ Sina, I filled that thing to the top! _

Eren’s question knocked Levi over the skull with a club, smashed a hole right through a floor made of clouds, and sent him hurtling to the ground. But now that he’s fallen from heaven and crashed back to earth, he becomes instantly aware of the discomfort he hadn’t noticed was steadily growing with every divine spoonful of savory green sludge. He helped Eren make it, but he suspects Eren emptied the pot when he wasn’t looking and replaced its contents with the vomit of angels that rained down straight from the heavens and then into his bowl. That must be why it looks like puke and not like a bucket of water and shriveled peas as it did before.

Even though he knows it’s for the best, Levi bids a sad farewell to his unfinished bowl of soup as he sets it aside, but not without licking the spoon first. 

Eren’s bright emerald eyes glow even brighter, and Levi only gets to admire Eren’s similarly bright grin for the split-second it takes for Eren to jump up and dive for the parcel beneath the tree.

\---

“Open it!” Eren says, bubbling with joy and excitement while dropping the box into Levi’s lap.

“I thought you said you don’t get presents until Christmas. The thing with the socks.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t your Christmas present. It’s your birthday present.” Eren smiles, already unbearably excited to know how Levi likes it.

“But my birthday isn’t for a few more–” Levi holds that thought right as he’s about to pull the end of the ribbon, looking up from the package to see disappointment flash over Eren’s face when he let go of it. Eren’s eyes go wide only a breath later. Something’s not right. He doesn’t recall ever telling Eren when his birthday was. “Eren.”

“Um. What is it, Levi?” Somehow he’d forgotten all about that. _ Shit. Just open your present. _ “Don’t you want to see what I got you?” Eren gives Levi his most charming grin, hoping that if he looks as cute as possible, Levi will forget his slip-up. Unfortunately, his nervous habit of chewing his lip and scratching his neck gives him away.

“How do you know when my birthday is?” Levi questions, but it rings very much like an accusation. Levi knows for a fact he never told him, but he has a sneaking suspicion he knows who did.

“I… guessed?” _ Shit. Shit. Shit. There’s no way he’s gonna buy that. Oh god, Hanji, run! Can you hear me? Hurry before he gets back! _

“You _guessed_,” Levi states flatly, and the way he says it makes it abundantly clear that he has not, in fact, bought it.

“So… uh… was I right?” _ Plan B better work because I don’t have a Plan C. Play it cool. Do something cute. Distract him. Get naked. Oh, there’s Plan C! Good thinking, me! _

“I don’t know, do _you _think you–” Levi has to hold _that _thought, too, because _what the fuck is he doing? _ “Eren. Are you taking off your shirt?” Eren suddenly freezes up like a deer in the woods and Levi just stepped on a branch. 

“Yeah, I’m, uh. Hot.” _ Do I take off my pants or not? On the one hand, that would be kinda weird. Who takes off their pants because they’re hot? But on the other hand… _

“Mm-hm.” Levi pins Eren with a look that lets him know the jig is up. _ Did you sincerely believe that trying to seduce me would make me forget what you just said? _ Eren drops the hem of his shirt. _ He looks so cute when he’s guilty. I should cut him some slack. _ “Who told you.”

“That’s… classified?” Eren cringes at the sound of his own pathetic voice. _ Ugh, that sounded significantly less cool this time. _

Levi heaves an exasperated sigh. Yeah, he knows who it was. Levi lets it go.

  
“To answer your question, yes. Or you were close. It’s not until Natalis. Or Christmas or whatever you call it. But you already knew that, didn’t you?” Levi pats the spot on the rug beside him. 

Eren hesitates for a second, trying to figure out if this is a trick. He’s gonna sit down next to Levi, and he’s either gonna get kissed or have the back of his underwear yanked up over his head. He decides the possibility of getting a kiss is worth the risk of needing to have his underwear surgically removed from his ass crack. Levi _is _ Humanity’s Strongest, after all. It’s entirely plausible.

“Yeah,” Eren confesses. He sighs in defeat with slumping shoulders, reminding himself that his ass can heal itself. He’s just about to crawl over to where Levi’s sitting, unaware that Levi’s a hair’s breadth away from doing the job for him.

“Come here, you weasel,” Levi affectionately demands before grabbing Eren by the front of his shirt and pulling him forward. Eren crashes face-first into his shoulder, and Levi chuckles as he wraps his arms around the startled boy.

“Whoa~!” Eren flails uselessly for half a second, but it doesn’t prevent him from tumbling onto Levi, and Levi doesn’t fall along with him from the impact. He doesn’t even _flinch._ It’s like slamming into a brick wall. Levi is _solid._ _Oh? I’m being hugged. Ah, this is nice. Oh! A kiss! _

Levi chuckles again while he kisses Eren’s cheek and then gives him time to regain his bearings before saying anything. Eren’s the first to break the silence.

“You gonna open it now?” He’s back to grinning sweetly, feeling warm and giddy from the kiss, restarting his excited fidgeting with twice the intensity. He can’t wait to see the look on Levi’s face.

\---

Levi’s staring into the box that is sitting in his lap on the unfolded sheet of brown paper, which he hadn’t torn as Eren demanded. Eren insisted that he was _supposed _to rip the paper and that he was taking too long to open it. Upon realizing that Levi intended to disobey his order, Eren called Levi a word that made him think about sex again. Instead, after delicately pulling the ribbon loose, Levi so meticulously unfolded the paper that it lay completely undamaged apart from the creases from being used as wrapping. 

Eren looked like he was about to explode the entire time.

Eren’s holding his breath, waiting for Levi to say something. He’s taken one skate out of the box, and he’s turning it over to examine it from each side, but he still hasn’t said a word. Eren might faint soon. Levi looks amazed, so that’s reassuring. Maybe he loves them so much he’s speechless.

“Eren. These are amazing.” Levi is in awe now that he’s figured out what they are.

Eren releases his held breath as discreetly as possible so Levi won’t know how anxious he was.

“You really like them?” Eren asks, now feeling optimistic and dying to hear more. He’s overjoyed that Levi seems to like them, but he’s always hoping for some of the praise from Levi that he constantly craves.

“I love them. I’ve never seen this kind of weapon before. Where did you get these?” Levi is truly blown away by the second-best gift he’s ever received. The first one is sitting next to him and is currently… Laughing. At him. “What?”

“First of all, they’re not weapons.” Eren does think it’s adorable how Levi’s first assumption is that they’re a weapon, but now he’s worried that Levi may not like them now that he’s learned they’re not for killing. 

Eren’s worry dissipates when something suddenly occurs to him. Levi, being Levi in all his glorious Levi-ness, probably _could _use them as weapons. Levi loved them when he thought they were weapons, and if it turns out he doesn’t enjoy ice skating, he’ll still like them. If Levi _does _end up liking ice skating once he tries it, it’ll be a win/win situation for Eren. Eren only allows himself a moment to fantasize about the possible ways he might be rewarded if that happens.

“So what you’re telling me is that boots with blades attached to them are something _other _than weapons. Am I hearing that correctly?” 

“No, Levi, they’re not weapons. They’re for fun. Are you familiar with that concept?” Eren switches to imagining the possible outcomes of sassing Levi.

“Weapons _are _fun. Especially if they're weapons I can kill titans with.”

Levi envisions himself spinning through the air, slicing open one titan’s nape with the swords in his hands while slashing another’s with his beautiful new sword-shoes. Then he imagines Eren right beside him doing the same, killing titans together in perfect harmony, blood and steam swirling around them as they fell the titans two by two until there are none left. Levi shivers at this new fantasy. He’s getting turned on again.

“Okay, yeah, killing titans is fun, but that’s not what they’re for. I mean, they could be, but that’s beside the point. But now you’ve got me thinking… I’m definitely gonna test that out on the training course when we get back.” 

_ I can picture it now; Levi doing that sexy spinning thing, killing titan after titan, running gracefully across their necks like ice skating on flesh, oh fucking Maria, unf… Wait, what the… what the fuck? Goddammit, not now, boner! Oh my god, why _did _ I get a boner? Don’t think about it. Just focus on the skates. Levi wearing the skates. Hey! What did I just tell you?! You better sit down right this instant, or I swear to god, Little Eren, I will– _

Eren shakes his head and clears his throat.

“Anyway, to answer your second question, I made them. Err… well, Hanji made them. But only because I didn’t know how!” _Yes,_ _think about Hanji. Ah, there we go. Much better._

“Hanji?” Now Levi has even more questions besides _what the hell are these if they’re not weapons? _

“It was my idea, so that still counts, right?” Eren’s fiddling with his hands in his lap, and if he’s not careful, he’s going to chew his lip clean off.

“So that’s why they measured my foot.” _ Well, there’s one question answered. At least they weren’t trying to calculate my dick size again. Nah, they definitely were. It was just a convenient excuse. _

“I didn’t know your shoe size.” A small frown forms on Eren’s mouth. One more thing I don’t know about Levi, Eren realizes with a quiet sigh.

“I don’t blame you. They have to custom make them for me. They’re smaller than Armin’s. Shit, they’re probably even smaller than Christa’s.” Levi, upon recalling that Armin has bigger feet than him, chooses to ignore the implication_. _It is just an old wives’ tale, after all. A common misconception. A myth_. Hang on. Why am I even worried about that? Eren says I’m hung like a– Goddamn, get yourself together and quit thinking about cock for like two seconds, Maria! _

“But I love your cute little feet!” When Levi glares at him, Eren changes the subject. “So aren’t you gonna ask me what they’re for?”

“I suppose, now that you’ve told me I can’t kill titans with them.” Levi sounds disappointed, but he’s not. Alright. Maybe a little. But only a little.

“Hey, I never said you couldn’t kill titans with them, just that that’s not what they’re for.”

“Oh?” Levi perks up instantly. He knows the first thing he’s going to do when they get back. Second. Something in the back of his mind makes him feel like it might even be the third, but he can’t quite put his finger on what or why that is. “Get on with it then.”

“They’re called ice skates. I used to have some when I was a kid. They were a Christmas gift from my parents.” Eren scoots closer to Levi and rests his head on his shoulder. Levi tips his head against Eren and runs his fingers through Eren’s hair while he listens. “They weren’t anything like these, but I couldn’t find any like the ones I had. No one had even heard of them before. That’s why we had to make them.”

Levi was so focused on titans (and dick) that the fact that Eren and Hanji _made _them slipped his mind. It’s more than just a special, handmade gift from Eren. It’s something Eren had fun with before the wall fell. A cherished childhood memory of peaceful times and gifts from his family. This is beyond special. This is… this is Eren remembering his loss. This is Eren reliving all that long-dead joy, all those painful reminders that he wants to ignore.

_ And now he’s giving it to me. He’s giving it to me so I can experience the same happiness it gave him before his entire world was destroyed and his happiness was stolen from him. _

_ This is making new memories. _

“When you wear these, you can slide around on the ice like you’re dancing. We used to go all around in circles on the frozen pond by my house, me and Mikasa and Armin. I was never very good at it, but…” Eren smiles sadly to himself, glad that Levi can’t see him getting misty-eyed over being transported back to his childhood and all the fun he used to have with his friends. How they used to laugh and play together without a care in the world. How his parents gave all three of them matching pairs because his mother was worried about them falling and breaking their necks because they wanted to play on the ice like the big kids.

“Shit, Eren.” Levi lifts his head and pushes Eren away, holding him at arm’s length so he can look him in the eye to express his gratitude as well as he can. He sees the tears forming in Eren’s eyes, and he knows Eren’s seeing the same. “This is… thank you. I’ve never had anything like this. I don’t know what to say.”

He really doesn’t, so he kisses Eren instead.

“So,” Eren says, breaking the kiss and feeling much better, finally able to look forward instead of behind. “Do you wanna try them out?”

“I would like that very much.”

Levi wipes the tears from Eren’s eyes, glad to see Eren smiling back at him.

_ This is it, _Eren thinks. _ We’re making new memories. I’m making memories with Levi. _

“But, Eren… You don’t have any.” As happy as Levi is about receiving such an incredible gift from Eren, he won’t be able to enjoy using it alone. He doesn’t think he can bear the sight of Eren standing in the snow all by himself, watching. He wants to do it with Eren.

“Oh! No, Levi, I do! They’re here. I just didn’t wrap mine—no fun in opening a present from yourself. I hid them so you wouldn’t find them until you opened yours on Christmas, but, uh. You see how that turned out. I couldn’t wait. I wanted you to have them now.” Eren still has something for Levi to open on Christmas morning, so it worked out fine. _ Thank you, Armin. _

“I’ll go get them while you put your coat on. Since you’re not wearing your scarf thing, you should wear mine.” 

“My ‘_scarf thing’_?” Levi chuckles at Eren, both for his concern and his endearing dumbassery.

“You know what I meant. My scarf is in my coat pocket. I don’t need it. Hurry up; I’m too excited. I’ll be right back.” Eren starts to get up, and Levi’s about to insult him (lovingly, of course), but he doesn’t get the chance.

“Ew, fuck!!!”

Levi does, however, laugh at Eren, who just stuck his hand in his cold, forgotten bowl of soup.

When Eren dashes into the bedroom to dig his skates out from their hiding place, he doesn’t notice the small bouquet of green leaves and white berries tied into a bunch with a lustrous red ribbon hanging from the ceiling above the bed.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at all this domestic stuff, the two of them cooking and flirting and bickering like an old couple. HMMMMMMM


	15. Chapter 15

The night is bitter but clear, only the occasional wispy cloud passing overhead, the waxing moon shining bright among twinkling points of light scattered across a velvet black sky. A thick blanket of white absorbs every sound and cloaks the world around them in eerie silence. All they hear is the crunch of hooves treading a crisp, ice-glazed layer of snow and the breaths of the only three living things for what seems like miles. Each puff of breath is visible in the frigid night air, giving the impression of smoke clouds billowing into the darkness. If there were animals in the timbers, they made no sound, not a skitter or scuffle or the cracking of a branch. 

Upon emerging from the dense woods, the frozen lake comes into view. There ahead in the clearing lay a vast sheet of ice, smooth and shining like glass under the moonlight, a sight so breathtaking that Eren brought his mount to a halt. Both men gaze upon it in silent awe. 

“Pretty,” Levi says as he leans back against Eren’s shoulder, and in doing so, glimpses the sky. It was hidden beneath towering, snow-heavy pines on their ride through the forest, but now that they’re out in the open, he sees that snow has started to fall. Nothing more than a sparse dusting of dainty, lazy snowflakes floating down feather-light in the wintry air, but it hints at a heavier snowfall to come. 

After taking a moment to enjoy the dreamlike show of sparkling flakes falling from above, Levi tilts his head back to search for Eren’s face, which is hiding somewhere within the cavernous depths of his hood. The subtle movement draws Eren’s attention away from the scenery that, to him, looks just like the ones in paintings. When Eren glances down to meet a pair of deep blue eyes, Levi’s once again rendered speechless. The way Eren smiles at him warms him in a way his winter layers never could; the sparkle in his eyes puts the stars to shame. 

Eren’s cheek, despite its ruddiness from the cold, is warm against his. Warmer than that are the lips that replace the cheek when Eren cranes his neck to kiss him there. Levi sees Eren’s smile widen just before his face turns away from him. Eren squeezes him tighter in his arms while staring ahead at the frozen lake, his excitement evident in the hands rubbing vigorously up and down his arms for warmth.

“You wanna?” Eren briefly turns to meet Levi’s eyes again, and the intensity of the sparkle has increased tenfold, his grin even wider than before. Still unable to find his breath, Levi nods, and Eren trembles with excitement around him when he feels more than sees Levi’s answer.

\---

The first one on the ice is Levi. Walking out onto the treacherous surface was a strange sensation. The blades affixed to the soles of his boots wanted to cut furrows that locked him in place and jerked him off balance, but soon enough, he learned how to move his feet to make him glide rather than shuffle. He no longer kicked up chunks of ice with every step, only a few seconds into an unfamiliar experience and already acclimated.

To see Eren stepping with such caution onto the edge of the ice was truly a sight to behold. According to Eren, he’d done this many times before. You’d never know by the clumsiness with which he steps forward, one foot on the ice, the other still on the shore. Levi watches on in amusement, but when Eren finally gets both feet on the lake, he starts tipping forward and waving his arms to regain his balance.

In an instant, Levi is at his side, looping an arm around his waist to steady him while he works to right himself. This apparently displeases Eren because he scowls at Levi. He was determined to do it himself and embarrassed that Levi, who has never gone ice skating before, saw that he could not and needed to come rescue him. Eren supposes that’s less embarrassing than falling face-first onto rock-hard ice in front of the love of his life. He’d probably break his nose, too, and then there’d be blood icicles hanging from his nostrils. Can that happen? He should _not _be this curious.

Levi chuckles at Eren, but he couldn’t help it. It was just too adorable. He isn’t making fun of Eren; he wouldn’t do that. At least not about this. The origin of his laughter could also be from the feelings he’s having because man, are they ever funny. So are the butterflies fluttering like mad to escape his stomach. A thought crosses his mind; this must be what a titan feels when it swallows someone whole, but that’s more fucked up than funny. 

When Levi takes him by the hand, Eren gets over the humiliation of being treated like a child being shown how to skate for the first time. Levi doesn’t once stumble while towing Eren out to the heart of the frozen lake, and once Levi is certain that Eren has his footing, he lets go of his hand.

Perhaps Eren didn’t have his footing after all because when he tries to propel himself forward, his legs splay in different directions, and he clambers in vain to right himself. Eren looks adorably like a spindle-legged newborn fawn taking its first wobbly, uncertain steps. He skates over to Eren and offers himself as a brace. It surprises Levi that he doesn’t slip, not even when Eren threw his full weight onto his shoulders to hang on for dear life while he fought his uncooperative legs.

All of a sudden, Levi finds the idea of skating hand-in-hand with his partner to be very romantic, and he has absolutely no ulterior motive for how tight he laces Eren’s gloved fingers between his own.

And he was right; it _was _romantic. Especially when Eren gains enough confidence to swing around to the front, smiling at Levi before he reaches for his other hand. Levi smiles back. He’s wondering when he became so sappy as to think of things as romantic. He blames this on Eren and promptly shoves his disconcerting thoughts aside.

If this were a dance, Levi would insist on taking the lead, and he doesn’t address why that is when he insists on taking the lead now. Then Levi remembers that he was taught to dance once, a long time ago, so long that his memories of it have faded with time. He’s not sure if he still remembers how to do it. There are some vague recollections of motions and steps, though they’re not clear enough to reproduce with any accuracy. He never led back then. He wonders if Eren ever danced with his own mother. This Levi also pushes aside, but not forever. He only wants to forget for now.

When Eren ducked in to peck his cold, numb, bright red nose, Levi found the action surprisingly charming, and it changed his mood from one of pensive recollection into pure, lighthearted joy. If someone dared to describe what he’s feeling as giddiness, they’d receive a swift fist to the face. Eren may have turned Levi into a romantic, but he still has a reputation to uphold.

Leaving along with Eren’s lips are his hands, and then Levi is no longer standing still. The tugging on Levi’s hand is Eren’s way of urging his beloved little Captain to let him show him why he loved this so much as a child. Eren leads; Levi allows himself to be led.

They’re soon gliding in unison around the lake, and to Levi, the sensation isn’t all that dissimilar to flying with the gear. He’s light, almost weightless, and the wind whips past them as they gain speed. This takes only minor effort, yet despite the lack of exertion, Levi’s heart is racing. The faster they go, the colder Levi becomes. The air catches in his hood and blows down his neck, but with Eren’s scarf wound around him, it’s not as uncomfortable as it would be otherwise. Inhaling the lingering traces of Eren’s scent on the wool isn’t so bad, either.

Just as with the gear, Eren wants to go faster, faster, and faster still. He’s chasing the thrill, craving the high you get when the gas hisses and your wires launch. When you’re meters above the ground and flying forward with such speed that the world passes by in a blur. Air or ice, keeping pace with Eren is no trouble; it’s as natural to Levi as breathing. Why Eren seeks this rush is no mystery to him; that same thirst for adrenaline is something Levi’s had his entire life.

Now that Eren’s shown him what it’s like, Levi decides he may be partial to this “having fun” thing. They should do this more often. It then occurs to him that if this is what fun feels like, he’s felt it before. Occurring to him next is the realization that he only experiences it when he’s around Eren. Like when Eren messes up his hair or when Eren tries to distract him while they’re playing a game so he’ll have a chance at winning. When they pair up for hand-to-hand, and when they roll around in bed. Whenever Eren laughs, and he laughs along with him, just like they’re doing now.

_ Have I been having fun this whole time and just didn’t know it? _

Levi’s having so much fun that when Eren trips on an uneven lump in the ice, the sudden yank on his arm catches him off guard. He loses his balance, tumbling along with Eren down onto the ice. Perhaps this was all just a clever ruse on Eren’s part because when Levi fell, it wasn’t onto something cold and hard like ice; it was onto something warm and soft like the body of a certain someone who thinks he’s slick but isn’t (though if he’s lucky, parts of him will be later). It’s a tough call, really. Could go either way. But Levi doesn’t care enough to make that call. He’s too busy laughing.

“You little shit. You okay?” Even if Eren isn’t okay, he will be in a matter of moments, but that doesn’t matter to Levi, and he’s told Eren as much. _ You always seem to think it’s no big deal when you get hurt because you can heal yourself, but I hate seeing you get hurt. _This will always be true, no matter how many times Eren tries to brush off his concern.

“I’m always okay when we’re in this position.” Eren’s giggling ruins his attempt at flirting. 

“I’m not going to fuck you on the ice, Eren. So if that’s what you have in mind, you’re in for a big disappointment.” Levi’s sassiness is also completely ruined by giggling of his own.

“A guy can dream, can’t he?” 

“Well, feel free to dream on, then.” When Levi rolls off of Eren, who is now flat-out howling with laughter, something hard jabs him in the thigh, and for once, it’s not Eren’s dick. Or his, for that matter. That would be impossible, seeing as it’s so fucking cold that it’s probably retreated into his body entirely. Shit, he’s so cold he wouldn’t be surprised if it was inside-out at this point.

Once he’s done theorizing about the current state of his penis (which he suspects has frozen off because he can’t feel it), his sudden realization kicks him in it. _ I forgot about that. Shit. _

Though Levi had to help Eren up, they’re soon back to skimming across the ice. Slower this time, yet fast enough for the breeze to snag Levi’s hood like a sail. Eren slid around to face Levi when he noticed him slowing down, and he was just about to ask why when he sees the reason. The hood of Levi’s parka has blown back, exposing his face to the bitter cold. Levi has one arm bent over his shoulder, struggling to raise his hood before his ears become so frostbitten that they turn green and fall off. Eren brings them to a complete stop and finishes the task for him.

Levi stares straight at Eren while he reaches both hands over his shoulders and pulls his hood over his head, utterly speechless. Eren’s hands linger on the fluffy fur trim, and he stands gazing into Levi’s eyes with such fondness and affection that Levi’s heart clenches, and he’s forced to swallow the lump that appeared out of nowhere to lodge itself in his throat. Eren’s eyes remain locked with his while his hands wander down from the coarse fox fur that frames Levi’s face like garland until they find a resting place upon his shoulders. Levi holds his gasp in his chest, which has suddenly become uncomfortably tight.

_ Eren is so beautiful. I want to look at that face forever. _

He’s unaware that Eren is thinking the same about him. This Levi doesn’t express, but Eren does, and his expression leaves his lips not with a word but a kiss. He breathes warmth back into Levi with his kiss, long and slow and so, so achingly sweet. Levi mourns the end of it, but Eren stays close. When he tips his forehead against Levi’s, the fur from their hoods tickles their faces, but neither of them tries to brush the itchy hairs away. Levi raises his arms and lays them on Eren’s shoulders.

Levi wants to remember how to dance.

He sets them in motion, just a slow revolution, Levi using his momentum to lead. This is nothing like dancing barefoot on a splintering wood plank floor, and it seems Levi can’t remember after all, but this waltz is as good as any ostentatious display in a king’s royal ballroom. Better. This dance isn’t for show; it’s not meant to impress or flaunt one’s class. These movements bear no resemblance.

Their momentum increases until they’re at arm’s length, taking each other by the wrists, turning around in circles and etching their path into the ice. It’s dizzying and they’re lightheaded, and they’re having so much fun that there’s nothing that could make them stop, except maybe plunging into the frigid water because they’ve been spinning in place so long they carved a hole in the ice. Eren didn’t consider ice fishing. Next time he’ll have to bring poles. _ Next time? _

Levi discovers a second potentially fun-interrupting thing when it’s brought to his attention by his shivering body and numb cheeks. It’s not the cold; it’s that skating in circles keeps him too far away from Eren, and he needs to be closer. 

For this reason alone, Levi makes a slight adjustment to the angle of his blades. The added resistance slows them so gradually that the deceleration goes largely unnoticed, and the dizzying dance soon melts into something more like a swaying embrace, no rhythm to it at all, no music, just beating hearts, and the sound of blades scratching ice.

The sight of Levi is far more breathtaking than the already extraordinarily beautiful scenery around them. Levi’s cheeks are rosy and mottled beyond the tawny halo of fur, a stark contrast to his snow-pale skin, and the delicate tip of his nose is a deeper hue, a blush, not quite pink, yet not quite red. The moonlight illuminates his dark eyes and reveals their true, striking blue, and the tiny flecks of snow seem somehow whiter when they land on the ends of his eyelashes. _ When did it start snowing? _

Eren has to kiss him. He can do nothing else; nothing makes sense to him except the press of thin, chapped lips against his own and his warm tongue slipping past them. His hands know of no place to go other than into Levi’s hood, and no other place for them to rest except Levi’s glowing pink cheeks.

Levi pulls back from the kiss, but only far enough for his lips to form words. He nuzzles Eren's nose when he whispers across his lips,

“Eren, I’m cold. Take me inside.”

\---

Boots are thrown aside, coats and gloves and sweaters hastily discarded and strewn haphazardly on the floor. 

This is surprising considering how much of a hurry Levi was in to get warm. Removing one’s clothing generally produces the opposite effect, and the goosebumps on Levi’s skin do not dispute this. He would be less cold if he stopped to stoke the fire that’s smoldering to an end in the hearth, but he doesn’t. No matter; Eren will warm him up soon enough.

Levi leads a drunken, stumbling Eren to the bedroom, walking backwards and dragging Eren along with him. The room is completely black; the window is coated in several days’ worth of snow. Midway into the room, something solid hits him behind the knees, and his legs buckle on impact, which sends both of them flailing for balance. A soft, bouncy, creaking surface cushions his landing when he falls under Eren’s weight. _ Oh, nice. Found the bed. _

Limbs like iron bars cage Levi on the mattress, and a hot mouth seals over his. He’s thawing under the kiss, but it’s not enough. It’ll be a minor interruption in his enjoyment of Eren’s tongue moving against his, but he has no time to waste; this is urgent. He can do both simultaneously, and the sooner he finishes his task, the sooner he’ll be warm. Blindly, but with quick, practiced efficiency, he flicks a button and opens a fly. In mere seconds Eren’s pants sit bunched at his knees, which is as far down as they can go without Eren standing up.

Eren gasps into Levi’s mouth when icy fingers tease along his length, and that’s enough to motivate him to get his tongue out of Levi’s mouth and get his ass in gear. Standing is difficult with his pants binding his legs, but he somehow manages to kick them off without incident. He senses Levi staring at him in the dark, his eyes imploring him to hurry. 

Left staring at the beams over his head after Eren disappears from view, Levi glimpses something odd. He could’ve sworn he saw a cluster of round, white things above him, but it’s too dark to tell what they are. His initial fear is that the ceiling is covered in a horrifying number of spider egg sacs, but the fear subsides when he realizes that Eren would never have overlooked something so grave while cleaning. Once sufficiently persuaded that he wouldn’t wake up covered in thousands of tiny, eight-legged demon babies, he decides that the sight is strange but not particularly interesting. Probably just spots in his eyes. When he shivers from the loss of Eren’s body heat, it slips his mind entirely. 

Eren’s fingers aren’t as nimble as Levi’s, but he does the best he can. Once they’re loose, Levi lifts his ass off the bed to assist, and Eren sinks to the floor as he shuffles them down Levi’s legs, knelt between Levi’s calves when he finishes. He flings Levi’s trousers aimlessly into the darkness and assumes Levi’s sharp inhale is because he’s mad about him throwing his pants on the floor or because Levi likes his current position. 

It’s neither of those. 

“Eren,” he calls, and Eren’s looking not at his face but at something closer and evidently more compelling. Levi, flattered, licks his lips in anticipation, but his worry is (surprisingly) stronger than his arousal. He sighs. Yeah, it sucks, but the blowjob can wait until after he checks. “Eren, it’s dark. I want to see you.” 

Eren doesn’t question Levi this time, either, because he’s sure Levi just wants to see him with his cock in his mouth. Ignorance is bliss, or so they say.

“Yeah,” Eren agrees, and he inhales and exhales several times to calm his dick enough to make walking happen. “Yeah, I’ll go get some matches.” Even though he’s spent a lot of time in this cabin over the past few weeks, this room is still too unfamiliar to safely navigate in the dark. Man, would it ever suck to walk boner-first into something right now. He’s never had to rebuild that part before, and he has no desire to lose his dick-healing virginity; not now, not _ever. _

The instant Eren waddles from the room, Levi’s off the bed and crawling on hands and knees around the area he heard his pants land. The snow-damp fabric beneath his desperately patting fingers has him breathing a sigh of relief. Levi skims along the leg until he finds the waistband, which is what he grabs them by before rising from his knees, ensuring they’re right-side-up as not to spill the contents of his pockets. He heard a quiet thud when Eren threw them across the room, but he can’t recall hearing anything solid hit the ground along with them. Still, one can never be too careful. He shoves his hand in his pocket.

It’s still there.

The room grows brighter and brighter as Eren approaches carrying an oil lamp. The kitchen was bright enough to locate the box of matches with ease, but his cock’s still out, and he wasn’t about to take any chances, so he stole the lamp from the kitchen table and brought it with him. Lit.

Eren makes another assumption; Levi’s sharp exhale when he entered the room meant that he’s relieved he’s back. He’s only half wrong this time. He also thinks it’s cute how he’s hardly been gone for a minute, and Levi’s already hung his pants up.

The way Levi looks at him when he turns around is something other than cute. His steely eyes are unusually expressive, and it’s somehow different from the warm, fond way Levi looks at him (and only him). His expression is soft and warm, but there’s more, something Eren can’t quite put his finger on. They were in the middle of getting it on, but arousal isn’t what he sees in his eyes, not really. Desire, for sure, but then there’s something bigger, heavier, more intense–it makes him feel funny, but a good funny.

Levi’s just standing there staring at him with that intense emotion in his eyes, and Eren’s suspended in time, staring frozen back at him with the lantern still in his hand. Then Levi blinks a few times, shakes his head once, and then strides over to Eren and kisses him. Eren’s hands are still occupied with the lamp, but Levi’s are cupping his cheeks, holding him in place. Eren really, really wishes his hands were free because he needs to touch Levi. He also needs to not drop the oil lamp and burn the house down.

When he leans over to the nightstand, Levi follows along with him, never letting go of his face. He needs to set the lamp down. Now. Especially since Levi isn’t a titan who can heal burns, like from, say, holding his elbow over the glass chimney of a lit lamp or using his bare hand to remove the lid from a cast-iron pot filled with boiling soup. 

Levi releases his hold for a split second, and it’s just long enough for him to set the lamp down. The instant he deposits the lantern onto the nightstand, Eren’s in motion again, being steered towards the bed in a manner that’s both relaxed and desperate at the same time.

There’s something different in the air. The mood has shifted.

Soon a small, cold hand on his chest is guiding him backward, slow and gentle, and as he’s laid down on the bed, something above Eren catches his eye for the briefest moment before it’s hidden from view by something he’d rather look at every day for the rest of his life. Nothing else matters. Only Levi’s kiss and his fingers in his hair.

Yeah, something’s definitely changed. 

They’re both hard as hell, but Levi isn’t rubbing against him, isn’t reaching down below, isn’t doing anything but stroking his face and hair and kissing him all over. Levi’s kisses travel from his brow to his cheek to his chin, which has Eren closing his eyes in sheer bliss. Lips trail down his neck, down to his collarbone, but Levi isn’t licking or sucking or biting. All he’s doing is peppering him with dozens of sweet, closed-mouth kisses. That isn’t a bad thing, just strange, because that’s not what Levi usually does when his cock is leaking onto his stomach.

Eren’s eyes crack open only a sliver, and without Levi’s handsome face blocking his view, Eren sees the thing again, right there over his head. For some reason, it looks familiar, and he didn’t notice it being there when he was cleaning the place top to bottom. He didn’t see it when he was making the bed, or while putting their spare clothes in the dresser, or when searching for a place to hide his ice skates. He didn’t see it when he came to retrieve his skates earlier, and the room wasn’t even dark then. What_ is_ that?

“Levi?” Any distraction from Levi smothering him with affection is a problem, but this is _seriously _bugging him. Where did it come from? Why does it seem so familiar to him? He’s completely fixated on the tiny bouquet of green leaves tied with a red ribbon. It looks like it could be herbs, so maybe it’s one of those things people use to perfume their homes. That seems like a likely answer when he sees what appears to be berries mixed in with the sprigs of mystery herbs. Either that or they’re spider eggs. But that still doesn’t answer the question. How did that get here? Did Levi hang it when he wasn’t looking?

“Hm?” Levi hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t look up or open his mouth, having no desire to stop kissing Eren’s exposed skin until he’s covered every last inch, but he also wants to know what Eren’s trying to ask him. 

“Did you put that thing there?” Eren squints at the thing with white balls dangling from the beam over their heads. _ No, those are definitely berries. Thank fuck, Levi would’ve flipped his shit. _

“Where?” He goes back to kissing after he responds.

“Up there.”

“Not yet.” He’d never put anything up there without lube, so whatever it is, it’s not attached to him.

“Not that, smartass. I’d never need to ask _ that _ .” Eren snorts in amusement, but it’s with disappointment that he pushes Levi off of him. Levi looks at him with something like confusion, or maybe irritation; they look pretty similar on Levi. As much as he never wants Levi’s attention to be on anything besides him, this is the one exception. He’s too curious to leave it alone. _ What if it wasn’t Levi who put that thing there. Has someone been in the house?! _

“That, up there. What is that thing? It looks familiar.” Eren nods his head, gesturing upwards with his chin at the enigmatic object. Levi sighs, but looks. 

It’s those white spots he saw earlier, but now with the lamp, he can see what it _actually _is, and when he does, he recognizes it immediately. _ Does Eren really not know? _ Of all the people who should know what that is, it should be Eren, not him. Maybe it’s just another ploy by Eren. 

“Eren,” Levi says, an edge of warning in his voice. He stares up at the beam, awaiting the kiss that never comes. Perhaps it really wasn’t a trick. “Why would you think I put that up there?”

“You didn’t? Well, I didn’t put it there, so who did?” _ It’s right on the tip of my tongue. There’s a name for it. Why can’t I remember? _“And what is it?”

“You’re the one who knows all this holiday shit. Are you honestly trying to tell me you don’t know what that is?” Levi doesn’t care who put it there, but why over the bed? That’s gonna happen there anyway, so they should’ve hung it in the kitchen or something. Or in a doorway, like people normally do. The look Eren gives him proves his innocence.

“That thing up there is called mistletoe.”

“Oh! The thing that fucks up trees. I knew it looked familiar, but it’s not growing from anything; it’s hanging from a nail. So how’s that a holiday thing? Is it like a Natalis tradition or something? I don’t remember my parents having that.” Even if they’re parasitic, Eren supposes that hanging up pretty leaves is a much less disturbing tradition than eating people so you don’t get thrown in the river by a guy with big-ass claws.

“Well, Eren, the reason people hang bunches of mistletoe is to make whoever walks under it kiss the person beside them.” Levi pins Eren with a suggestive lift of an eyebrow and an even more suggestive smirk. He’ll wait until Eren asks him before he tells him anything else about the tradition.

“Are you for real right now? That can’t be right. You’re just trying to get me to kiss you.” To demonstrate the pointlessness of the prank, Eren leans in to peck Levi on the cheek. He’s not saying he doesn’t like it; as far as pranks go, it’s a rather sexy one. Just stupid. “You don’t have to trick me to get me to kiss you, you know.”

“I’m dead serious. That’s why I assumed it was you who put it there.”

“Hmm.” Eren puts on a display of reflection, with his eyes focused skyward and his fingers rubbing his chin. “Can’t argue with tradition.” Now having arrived at whatever bullshit conclusion he was fake-contemplating, he switches to playfully grinning at Levi. 

The next thing Eren does is kiss him, obviously.

He still doesn’t know who hung the mistletoe. Only one other person has been in the cabin recently–at least one who he’s aware of–but it couldn’t have been him. It’s absurd to think Armin would do such a thing. That means not only was he thinking about the two of them kissing _in bed, _but that he _wanted _them to do it. He’ll have to ask him about it when they get back. He might end up kissing _him. _

But for now, he has someone more important to kiss, and with a whole lot more tongue.  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

The discovery of the mistletoe above the bed just made things a lot more interesting. Levi doesn’t object to its presence, but he is mildly concerned about it. He has a feeling they’re not going to be getting much sleep in said bed if it remains there. Not that he isn’t looking forward to extended bedroom activities, he just wants sleep to be one of them at some point.

Usually, he can keep up with Eren. But now that this thing is dangling over their heads, he’s not so sure he’ll be able to without at least _some _sleep, and he really doesn’t want to resort to sleeping on the couch in order to get it. It doesn’t look big enough for both of them to sleep comfortably on it, and he’s sure as fuck not going to sleep there alone. Sleeping _with _ Eren is necessary for it to be restful sleep. Levi estimates he’ll need a minimum of four hours to maintain the stamina to, well… _ sleep _with Eren.

Levi also can’t reach high enough to take it down and move it someplace else. 

He’ll figure it out later. He’s not interested in sleep at the moment.

Levi rebels against the mistletoe and breaks their kiss, pushing Eren just far enough away to grant him a clear view of his face. Eren looks dazed. He’s breathing heavily from kiss-swollen lips that are shining with saliva, staring at Levi with darkened eyes and brows pinched in confusion, wondering why Levi made them stop.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Levi whispers, tracing Eren’s jaw with icy fingertips, his stare almost as dazed as Eren’s. He tucks a lock of shaggy chestnut hair behind Eren’s ear, Eren continuing to stare dumbly at him while Levi strokes his knuckles over Eren’s pleasantly warm cheek.

Eren is always beautiful to him, but there’s just something about candlelight.

Eren and fire go hand-in-hand. When Eren’s bathed in its light, it’s as if his inner fire is consuming him from the inside out. It brings out the beast in him, reminds him of Eren’s true nature, the way firelight makes his green eyes glow the way his titan’s do, eerie and awe-inspiring and unlike anything of this world.

Eren appears _truly _otherworldly in it; the lamp’s wildly dancing flame reflecting in his evergreen eyes, how it changes his complexion into the finest gold, warm and radiant and as priceless as the man himself. Gold like a gold band–if he was wearing one now, would it be visible on his finger? Or would it melt into his golden skin just like Levi does?

Something about candlelight always turns Levi into a romantic.

Or maybe it’s just Eren.

“Levi?” His name is a question, drawn-out and weak with uncertainty. It snaps Levi out of his disgustingly mushy daydream, and he’s now blinking up at the same face he was just imagining. The tangible Eren is dreamier and more ethereal than the one in his mind’s eye.

“Fuck,” Levi chokes, huffing a sharp breath and dropping the back of his hand onto his forehead. _ How long have I been lying here making googly eyes at him like an idiot? _ He wonders, and suddenly his mouth is moving. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

At this, Eren blushes, a drunken grin taking the place of bewilderment on his face.

“I love you too,” Eren replies with a smile so warm Levi considers repeating himself just to determine how much more he can withstand until Eren completely fucking destroys him. Instead, he chickens out and breaks eye contact because there’s still something he wishes to do before Eren annihilates him with affection.

Levi glanced away from Eren’s outpouring of affection before it could kill him. However, in doing so, he’s greeted with a dozen beady, white, accusatory eyes peering out at him from that goddamn demanding bouquet that neither of them put there. _ Well, if you say so… _

He obeys the dead parasitic plant this time and is handsomely rewarded for it.

It took Humanity’s Sappiest no effort at all to flip Eren onto his back in a single, fluid, lightning-swift motion. Eren made an adorable, startled little cry, and now only two eyes, green ones, are staring at him, so surprised that they’ve become nearly as round as the ones they replaced.

With similar speed, Levi swoops to kiss his startled scout, who squeaks–actually _squeaks_–into his open mouth. Just as the mistletoe commanded, Levi kisses Eren breathless but without the frantic urgency he had when they entered the bedroom. His kisses are unhurried and tender, cradling Eren’s face with both hands, which he notices are trembling for some odd reason, smothering Eren under his full body weight. 

Eren mewls and moans and squirms, his body arching futilely against 65 kilos of solid muscle, fingers digging in and scrabbling on Levi’s back, but Levi holds him still. He switches to caressing Eren’s cheekbones with his thumbs to get him to chill the fuck out; he wants to keep the pace slow, to savor Eren all night. There’s no rush. No one’s here to interrupt them.

Pale skin prickles with goosebumps from its exposure to the wintry air in the drafty cabin, but Eren’s hands are smoldering like coals. Levi feels the trails of heat they leave behind cooling whenever they move on to a new, unscratched patch of skin. Levi’s chill had him rethinking his decision to swap their positions, but it would be too easy for Eren to have his way if he wasn’t pinning him to the bed. That’s what blankets are for.

That’s also what the coal stove in the corner is for, too, yet it’ll be a snowy fucking day in hell before he’s willing to get out of bed to light it.

Eren’s still writhing and grinding against him, albeit at a slower pace, his soothing touch having coaxed him down from a delirious frenzy to something more like rabid enthusiasm. That doesn’t change the fact that Eren is still desperate; he’s hard as steel, and things have become very slippery between them. To be fair, he’s a bit desperate, too–stiff and aching, ready to go since his pants came off–he simply has better self-control. Doesn’t mean they have to come right away, so long as Eren can hold himself off, which, knowing Eren, is probably a longshot. But then again, Eren recovers faster than should be humanly possible, so… If it happens, it happens. 

Levi kisses as far as he can down Eren’s neck, but he’s trapped by Eren’s vice-like legs wrapping even tighter around him. _ Little shit, if you’d just quit trying to bruise my kidneys for like two seconds… _

“Shh, shh. Relax,” Levi whispers, peppering Eren’s neck and shoulder with soft, slow, calming kisses. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna take care of you.”

“Leviiii,” Eren whines, though what Levi hears is, “_hurry the fuck up! _”

So, he does.

To persuade Eren to release the stranglehold on his guts, Levi’s right hand reaches down to push and tap lightly on his knee. At the same time, the other is busy making Eren shiver by sweeping the backs of its fingernails through the hair above his ear. Eren’s ear is bright red and burning, as are his cheeks, and the tint of his skin gradually fades to a blush as it extends down his neck and across his collarbone until vanishing completely into the gold of his heaving chest.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, just relax,” Levi interrupts the slow drag of his lips over Eren’s throat to hush him with a sultry breath on his Adam’s apple. Eren’s legs finally release Levi from captivity and fall open wide. He exhales and shivers, struggling to calm himself, but his intense arousal is fiercely fighting him for dominance. “I’m not going anywhere.” _ Ever. _“We have all night, so let me take my time with you.”

This brings about another, stronger shiver in Eren, whose limbs still tremble after it passes. With a long exhale, Eren stills, closing his eyes and bracing his restless arms on Levi’s shoulders.

“Good, there you go,” Levi breathes into his neck, his praise followed by one last, lingering press of lips to Eren’s sweat-sticky throat. Now freed from Eren’s crushing grip–_shit, those thighs are strong_–he’s eager to continue to his destination.

Every centimeter down Eren’s body gets marked with a kiss in an easy, sensual slide starting from the hollow between his collarbones. He traverses the valley that begins at his sternum and extends southward through the grid of contracting abdominal muscles until its conclusion at his navel, the taste of Eren’s arousal becoming more profound the lower he travels.

It’s when Levi’s lips reach that point that Eren gasps, and his stomach clenches like he’s been punched by the teasing tip of Levi’s tongue dipping into his navel. Levi blows over the moisture his tongue left there and watches the goosebumps form before he glances up at Eren. The exquisite green eyes dancing with firelight are wide and surprised, and Eren’s held breath stills his body.

Levi drinks in Eren’s expression but says nothing, only flashing him an appreciative smile before he looks down again and advances toward his target. His lips avoid contact with Eren’s swollen length as his kisses follow the enticing trail of hair beneath his navel, but he allows it to touch his cheek, where it leaves a shining smear of wetness in its wake. Eren releases his breath in a wavering exhale, his head falls back onto the pillow, and he burrows a hand into Levi’s silken black locks, not clutching, not pulling, merely hanging on to ground himself to something. Levi hums in approval and halts at his destination.

Eren trembles with every gasp while Levi takes a moment to nuzzle his nose in the dark hair where Eren’s scent is most potent. He inhales deeply to savor it and exhales with a shaky moan. Levi had to remind himself about how he wanted to keep it slow. Why was that again?

It’s rather difficult to remember while he’s kissing the base of Eren’s cock, which startles him by jumping up off Eren’s belly and brushing the side of his face. Eren’s drawn-out, exaggerated whine of frustration doesn’t help. Levi abandons Eren’s attention-seeking manhood, but only until he finishes kissing as far down as he can go, which isn’t that much more now. He drags his mouth over Eren’s scrotum, and Eren convulses with a huff, his thighs snapping shut on instinct when he nibbles it carefully with his teeth. He’d forgotten that makes Eren ticklish, so he moves away before Eren crushes his skull. Between Eren’s thighs is a very dangerous place to be. Really fantastic, though. Totally worth the risk.

Eren’s cock is a safer place for his mouth to be–less ticklish–even if Eren responded to him drawing the flat of his tongue up it by grabbing a fistful of hair so hard it hurt. Eren instantly sat up and apologized, making up for the pain he caused by petting and combing Levi’s hair to soothe the sting. Levi must admit–he really didn’t mind. He doesn’t tell Eren that, though.

He wonders if Eren will pull his hair again when he repeats the action. Eren does, yet this time around, he clutches firmly but causes no actual pain, only a pleasurable tugging sensation that sends a searing, prickling shiver up Levi’s spine. Levi’s mouth follows the same path his tongue did, except now he seals his lips over the broad vein that runs from its base to its tip. He slides through the trail of saliva he left behind, Eren’s foreskin sliding up from the suction. Eren whines, and his grip on his hair loosens and then tightens again, rewarding Levi with more of those euphoric sparks.

Levi takes Eren in hand, his grip as loose and teasing as the gentle way he tugs at the skin with his lips. That Eren isn’t complaining about the teasing surprises Levi–he was so ravenously desperate before. Eren’s sharp breaths and clutching fingers and leaking, swollen, rock-hard cock indicate that he still is, but he settled down after Levi declared his intent, so it must mean that he’d rather have Levi spoil him than get him off right away. Good. A marathon of pleasuring Eren is far more gratifying than a straight sprint to the finish line.

Eren grits out his name through clenched teeth at the first suck, and Levi shivers again at the sound, feeling as if his spine was a fuse set alight, crackling cinder racing up to the powder keg at the base of his skull. The shivers haven’t ceased, but they’re not from the cold anymore.

Levi’s grip is still loose around what doesn’t fit in his mouth, and Eren’s fingers clench in his hair, nails scratch at his shoulder in sync with his head’s bobbing rhythm; up and down, up and down, over and over and over until Eren’s legs are shaking. Levi soothes him with his free hand, caressing his hip, squeezing the taut muscles of his thigh, stroking his thumb along the groove where groin meets leg.

His fingers drift lower, and Eren holds his breath. He’s even warmer there.

“Can I?” Levi asks, his mouth hovering so close his lips brush the head of his cock when he breathes his request onto it. His heavy breaths continue fanning over it while gazes at Eren, awaiting his answer. He realizes his mistake in the heartbeat it takes for Eren to reply. _ Shit. I really didn’t want to get out of bed, and there’s no way I’m gonna make Eren do it. _

“Yeah,” Eren answers, only enough air in his lungs to speak that lone yet sufficient syllable, only enough strength to lift his head to nod and bite his lip until the weight drags him back onto the pillow.

Eren does not seem to share Levi’s concern. That, or he hasn’t thought about it yet.

He’s beyond ready to have something inside him, anything–fingers, dick, whatever, he doesn’t care so long as it’s in him soon, preferably _now _soon. They hadn’t bathed after they fucked earlier, only cleaned up a little, so there’s still a trace of oil down below, and he figures that’ll be plenty to get him in. But Levi isn’t in. He said yes, so what’s the holdup?

“We left the oil by the fireplace,” Levi states, his tone rueful and strained, the slightest tinge of pain to his words. With a dejected sigh, he prepares to leave the warmth (and sexiness) and venture out into the cold-as-balls cabin to fetch it.

“Ah, no,” Eren pants, straining to escape from under Levi’s weight. Levi feels like weeping when Eren’s warm hands leave him to reach toward the bedside table. Eren knows Levi will insist on it, so he slaps a blind hand across the top of the nightstand, almost knocking over the oil lamp. His fingers fumble on the drawer pull, so he stretches his arm to its limit, but that still doesn’t give him enough leverage to open the drawer.

Levi’s refusing to get off him, so Eren does his best to twist at the waist and bend sideways far enough to get a better grip. The aged wood stutters and screeches when he drags the drawer open from such an awkward position, and he can’t see Levi frowning at him while he’s tapping his fingers around in the rough interior. 

He exhales a sigh of relief when he hits something cool and smooth. Eren is relieved but still panting from exertion when he returns to his previous, more comfortable position under Levi, now with a bottle of oil in hand. It weighs more than he remembers–it’s so heavy that he can’t hold it up, and his arm falls onto the mattress under it.

Levi watches the bottle tumble from Eren’s hand and roll on the bed, and he regards it for a moment before picking it up. Once he has it, he scrutinizes it for another few seconds, angling the vial to ponder its contents before glancing up at Eren with one eyebrow raised. Sure, he’s relieved neither of them needed to get out of bed, and it’s not like he’s unhappy about the discovery, but…

“You brought _ two._” It may have come across like an admonishment, but that’s just how Levi talks. Levi staring at it in amazement again before glancing back up is proof, but Eren already knew that. “And this one’s brand new.”

Eren’s become so attuned to Levi over the years that he can tell what Levi is actually feeling, which is something no one else has ever learned to do. Not even Armin–the most perceptive guy in the world after Commander Erwin–picks up on all of Levi’s subtleties. Sometimes Levi looks angry–okay, that’s how he always looks, except for the times when he looks utterly bored–but Eren knows when Levi’s content or distressed or fascinated, and, most importantly, when he genuinely _is _angry.

Despite the unmistakable hint of accusation present there, Levi is the farthest thing from angry. Eren knows what he’s thinking, and he’s thinking the same, but with one teeny-tiny little itty-bitty difference. Levi’s about to say, “_you thought we might need another,_” and that’s true; the second bottle _was _his idea, and for the exact reason Levi surmised.

The difference is that he wasn’t the one who thought of it first. It was _Armin_ who knew they needed it, and if Armin hadn’t told him to bring one, they would’ve had zero. Eren doesn’t want to be thinking about Armin right now, but he knows he owes him big time. 

He’s sure Armin didn’t want to think about them fucking either, but he did, and now here they are, primed to fuck, all thanks to him thinking about it. But now he’s thinking about Armin thinking about them fucking, which makes him think about what Levi would think about Armin thinking about them fucking, which then leads him to think about what Levi would think if he knew he was thinking about Armin thinking about them fucking right as they’re about to fuck. With the lube. That Armin thought they needed.

Eren’s not embarrassed about Armin knowing he and Levi have sex. It’s a regular topic in conversation. Maybe he _was _a tiny bit shy about telling Armin when they did it the first time, but he was too excited not to share it with him. But Armin seemed happy for him, congratulated him, even, so now he’s not the slightest bit embarrassed to talk about it. Best friends always talk to each other about their lives, and Levi is the most important thing in his–the sex is only part of it. 

This thing with the lube, though... There’s just something weird about Armin thinking about it on his own. But whatever, it’s getting him laid, so it’s all good. That’s what friends are for, right? Good friends always remind you to bring lube so you can stick your dick in your superior officer.

Eren really wishes Levi would distract him with his cock. In his ass. Now._ Oh god, please hurry, put it in. With the lube. That Armin thought we might need. To insert penises. Because he thought about my penis. Or yours. Our penises. In one or both of our assholes. Which he also thought about. _

_ Fuck! Stop thinking about this! I actually need my boner this time! _

As if Levi could sense his inner turmoil, he grants Eren his much-needed diversion. It’s not his cock he gives Eren–it’s more teasing. It’s two oiled fingertips tracing his hole, and it’s Levi’s hand pushing down on his pelvis to pin him in place so Eren can’t move his hips to force them in. Levi’s fingers were a decent distraction, but Eren’s annoyance with Levi’s (rather enjoyable) teasing is even more effective.

Eren’s trying to keep his legs apart, but the anticipation and torturous pleasure have his body forming a taut and trembling arch on the bed. Eren will presumably end up with a stiff neck from how forcefully his head and shoulders are digging into the mattress, but a stiff _cock _is all he can think about at the moment. Eren groans through gritted teeth, dying for Levi to put his fingers inside already. His eyelids are scrunched shut, but even if they weren’t, he still wouldn’t be able to see Levi through the forearm covering his eyes, so he’s blown away by what Levi surprises him with.

His cock is suddenly sheathed in Levi’s mouth while Levi’s fingers begin a gradual push into him, both actions proceeding at the same painfully slow pace. Eren’s clenched jaw opens wide to let out a long, loud moan that overpowers the sound of Levi inhaling sharply through his nose, but the way he clamps down on Levi’s fingers allows him to feel that they’re stationary but shaking.

Levi always loves how Eren feels on the inside, but an odd detail gives him pause. It’s unusually wet and slippery in there, but it takes him only a second after noticing it to figure out why that is. _ I knew it. Why does he always insist on leaving it in there? _ A part of him wonders how Eren can stand the feeling, but the rest of him is rather smug about it. It’s weirdly erotic, and somehow, even more weirdly, it’s _endearing. _

He shrugs it off. The last thing Levi needs is to get more turned on right now. Doing this to Eren is arousing enough as it is.

Instead of thinking about it, he fucks Eren with his fingers while he goes down on him, guiding Eren to fuck his mouth in return. Eren moans and moans and _moans, _ sporadically tightening around Levi’s digits, all his muscles tensing and relaxing in time with Levi’s movements. Levi is paying as much attention as he can to where his fingers are, which is quite a challenge, given the situation, but he needs to avoid touching Eren _there _if he wants him to last. Levi’s focused on reading Eren’s body, watching for the signs. He feels with his chin that Eren’s testicles are drawn up high and tight to his body, and his cock is swelling and pulsing, increasingly flooding his mouth with the taste that Levi will never get enough of. As much as he craves more of it, that’s his signal.

Eren’s still alternating between chanting curses and his name when Levi stops cold, and not a moment too soon. He leaves Eren on the brink. Levi is dizzy and panting, and he was just shy of joining Eren there, and he hadn’t even been touched yet.

“_Leviiiiii–!”_ His name leaves Eren as both a wail and a whine, and Eren huffs, exasperated beyond belief.

Levi climbs up his body on hands and knees, mindful not to let either of them make contact. He’s still too close, and that means Eren is even closer. One wrong move and Levi will have to wait even longer to give Eren what he wants to give him.

“Not yet,” Levi whispers into the spot below Eren’s ear before kissing there. Eren’s trembling something fierce with either rage or arousal, or likely a bit of both. Eren digs his nails into Levi’s back and kicks his feet on the bed like the impatient little shit Levi knows and loves. Levi’s chuckling while he kisses him on the lips. “I’m not done with you.”

He pulls back to look into Eren’s eyes, and Eren does look kinda pissed off at him, but when Levi shows him a heartfelt smile, Eren smiles back. “I love you,” he sighs, and Eren smiles wider. His own heart is pounding while he plants a prolonged kiss on Eren’s forehead, and it’s not from desire. Or at least not desire of the carnal type–not entirely, anyway.

“I love doing this with you,” Levi says with his eyes closed, his forehead resting on Eren’s, listening to his racing heartbeat and his wound-up panting. Levi’s fingers comb Eren’s sweat-matted hair while he rests, stalling for time to let them both cool down.

The pair remain in that intimate silence for some time, and once Eren’s breaths become regular, Levi searches for the bottle that’s somewhere on the bed. When it’s in his hand, Levi finally moves away, though he’s not as conscientious about avoiding contact now that the danger has passed.

Eren props himself up on his elbows, curious to see where Levi is going. Levi doesn’t go far–only as far as his thighs. Levi’s just sitting there, straddling him and staring at him with the strangest expression. Eren uses this opportunity to admire his boyfriend in the dim light. Levi’s fair skin glows against the blackness, but the little flame flickering on the nightstand tints it a pale, buttery yellow wherever it touches. _ He’s so handsome. _

Eren’s adoring gaze wanders from Levi’s face to Levi’s abdomen, each groove outlined in shadow, every swell of muscle highlighted to give the impression of cobblestones. But then Eren’s eyes fall lower, nearing the end of the brick road. At the path’s conclusion is a profoundly red stone monument that is dripping clear fluid onto his hip. He shudders, and the motion of Levi’s arm has light and shadow playing along every cut and crest of muscle on his body, pulling each ripple into even sharper contrast. Something glints in the lamplight.

The gleam draws Eren’s eye to the glass bottle in Levi’s hand. Heat flashes over his skin, and he holds his breath when Levi uncorks the vial again. Both of them follow the glossy stream pouring from it as it pools in Levi’s cupped palm. Afterward, Levi hands Eren the bottle and then the cork. He fumbles with it because his fingers are so shaky, but he eventually seals it without spilling any of the precious (backup) lube.

Levi waited for Eren to set the bottle aside and look at him; he wants Eren to see him make his intentions clear.

He accomplishes this by tipping his hand and letting the skin-warmed oil drizzle onto Eren’s cock.

Eren looks down at it, then back up at Levi. He repeats this process a second time, and when he meets Levi’s gaze again, his eyes open wide with surprise. Levi reaches for his cock and curls his palm around it, and with his first leisurely stroke, Eren realizes he must’ve misinterpreted what Levi was getting ready to do. _ How long does Levi plan on dragging this out? He knows it won’t take me long to go again. He must be trying to kill me. _

Levi shuffles forward on his knees. He isn’t straddling Eren’s thighs anymore; he’s straddling his waist. Eren _hadn’t _misunderstood.

“Levi? You’re… But then why did you finger me?” Why Eren asked this, he doesn’t know. Probably because his penis sucked all the blood from his brain like it always loves to do. He’s not opposed to this arrangement in the slightest; in fact, he’s over the fucking moon with delight, so he hopes he didn’t just change Levi’s mind because it kinda sounded like he was telling him he didn’t want it.

Being inside Levi is a treat, and he’s lucky that Levi spoils him with it as often as he does. Levi’s so unbelievably tight, and Eren isn’t exactly small. It’s a wonder how he’s never hurt him. He must have humanity’s strongest asshole because holy _shit, _does he ever love to be rammed sometimes. Doesn’t seem like Levi’s in the mood for that tonight. But, since it appears he’s in the spirit of giving, it being Christmas and all, maybe he’ll give him another of his favorite treats and let him watch his come ooze out of him. _ Fuck, if I keep thinking like that, I’m not even gonna get the chance. _

“Because I wanted to make you feel good,” Levi explains, that having been his aim from the start, and it still is. “And I’m not finished with that yet. Unless you’d prefer it the other way around?” Levi would be content either way, but he has a hunch that Eren isn’t going to say no to this, and, frankly, he’s very much looking forward to doing it this way.

“No! No. This is good. By all means, continue.” Eren is aware of how goofy he must look and sound, nodding and grinning and probably blushing. Levi’s seen him at his dorkiest and says it’s cute, plus Levi’s boner is still raging, so he obviously must not be put off by it.

“Perfect,” Levi purrs, locking eyes with Eren while he seizes his cock and positions himself. And then, right as he’s sinking down on Eren’s cock, he moans, “because I _ really _ want you.”

Hearing Levi say that, _ moan _that, has Eren whimpering, but the sensation of slowly penetrating Levi–_so fucking tight-_makes him groan and sob like he’s in agony. Levi is as snug and hot as always, and Eren feels Levi’s muscles fluttering around him as his body steadily opens up for him. _ Don’t come. Don’t come. Oh, wall–fucking–Maria, please don’t come. _

Levi wanted to be looking into Eren’s eyes while he took him in. But Eren’s cock is so good, feels so fucking incredible pushing in little by little–the dull, satisfying ache, the tantalizing stretch of Eren entering him until they’re wholly joined as one–it’s too much, too perfect, he can’t. Without permission, his eyes fall shut, and his head tips back in ecstasy while he groans long and deep, too overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the pleasure Eren is giving him to resist it.

Eren makes the same deep, throaty sound of enjoyment and wants just as much to keep his eyes on Levi, but he loses that battle. He fights harder in the feud against his hips and wins, successfully overpowering instinct so he can prolong the moment as long as possible. If only he could slow time. He’d spend hours, _days _luxuriating in the feeling of his cock entering Levi’s body millimeter by slow, beautiful millimeter. The way it welcomes him inside, receives him so easily, always the perfect fit, like their bodies were lock and key, designed to open only each other. Alas, he cannot, and it’s over all too soon. It’s not the last time it will ever happen, but a few more long, blissful seconds would’ve been nice.

Perhaps he’ll just tell Levi to pull off all the way while he’s riding him so he can do it again. And then again. Levi did want to spoil him–just like he’s doing right now. With his ass. 

Levi rides him slowly, Eren’s hands on his sensually rolling hips, resting at times, smoothing up and down his sides at others, all with Eren staring up at him in awe, watching every breathtaking expression, cherishing every sound of pleasure, heart laid bare by Levi’s loving eyes on him. _ Levi was really on to something with this taking it slow thing. _ Eventually, a hand drops from Levi’s waist, and Eren uses it to trace the underside of Levi’s erection with his thumb, feather-light and reverent, wringing an array of gasps and shivers from the man making love to him.

After a while, Levi’s gaze softens even further, warm and tender, yet paradoxically sharp. It's raw and powerful and it overwhelms Eren in the best way, makes his heart and stomach clench, makes him want both to look away from it and watch it forever.

“Eren,” Levi moans, stilling his hips and leaning forward with closed eyes to stroke Eren’s hair and nuzzle his nose, “Eren, let me put my arms around you.” Eren only nods, sharing Levi’s desire but not understanding that they can’t embrace if he’s flat on his back. “Sit up,” he implores when Eren makes no effort to accommodate, so eager to feel all of Eren’s bare skin around him that he can’t wait for Eren to figure it out on his own.

Levi is soon cradled in Eren’s lap, arms and legs wound and tangled, exchanging lazy nips and kisses while they rock together. There’s no thrusting, hardly any motion at all, just a steady, languid grind against each other. It’s no less exhilarating for Levi, with Eren’s cock driving deep into him, so perfectly hard and continually nudging that spot inside him, Levi’s own trapped between their bodies, gliding in the grooves of Eren’s abdomen with each controlled movement. 

Likewise, for Eren, the pleasure of Levi squeezing rhythmically around him, milking him with his insides, is intense in a way that a full in-and-out slide isn’t, and the combination steadily pushes them both toward their peaks.

“Levi,” Eren shakily warns, burying his face in Levi’s shoulder to avoid Levi’s erotic expression in an attempt to delay the inevitable, “I’m really close.” 

Levi responds with a grunt and a trembling shudder, which are, unfortunately, just as arousing as Levi’s flushed, contorted face.

“Come, Eren,” Levi says, low and sincere. He leans back, placing a sweaty palm on Eren’s burning cheek, encouraging him to raise his face from his shoulder and look him in the eye. There’s a curious, hopeful spark in Eren’s blackened emerald eyes, in his enraptured expression, and Levi knows precisely why it’s there. “Go ahead. I want it.”

Eren moans and squeezes his eyes shut for a second before regaining eye contact with a trace of incredulity, searching his lover’s steel-blue eyes for guidance. Levi nods, and it forces the air from Eren’s lungs, makes his eyes light up, brings something like a half-assed smile to his parted lips. His hands find Levi’s hips once more, his grip tight and secure as he attempts to lift Levi by them, desiring more friction.

Levi assists by rearranging himself, and his oncoming climax ebbs when Eren slips out of him. He rises on his knees, giving Eren the privilege of penetrating him a second time. Eren bites his lip while Levi sinks onto him, slowly and gradually taking Eren in, lengthening the moment just as Eren had before.

He remains still, taking a few moments to revel in the sensation, perceiving the distinct throb and swell of Eren’s cock inside him when he squeezes his asshole around his length as tightly as he can. He doesn’t mean to tease Eren; he wants him to come, and he will give that to him shortly. He just wants to feel him a bit longer before he does. Eren bites harder on his lip, and the way he whimpers tells Levi he’s had his moment; he’ll have another chance to do it soon enough.

Without warning, Levi bounces his ass on Eren’s lap in a fast, steady cadence, and when Eren cries out, so does he. The head of his cock rubs against Eren’s firm, flexing stomach with each rise and fall, and every drag of Eren inside him edges them closer and closer in tandem. From what he can tell, Eren’s ahead of him. He prefers for them to climax together; he just needs that little extra push. 

“Eren,” Levi moans, uncertain if Eren can hear him over how heavily he’s panting, but Levi doesn’t have control over his voice, so it’s more of a rushed breath than a command when he says, “pull my hair again.”

“Levi?” Eren’s eyes widen in surprise. Had he heard him correctly? _ Does he really want…? _ Levi nods and tugs one of Eren’s arms upward, and Eren just stares at him for a minute before nodding back at him and burying his fingers in Levi’s hair. Still, he hesitates. Levi’s never asked for this before, and he doesn’t want to cause Levi any pain, but Levi is looking at him so expectantly, so desperately, that he takes a deep breath, swallows, and then, ever so carefully, he tugs.

Levi tips his head back and wails, keening in pleasure and trembling on his lap, involuntarily clenching so hard that Eren can barely move. Once his mind returns, his head snaps back up, and he stares Eren straight in the eye, mouth open and panting, looking just as shocked and amazed as Eren does. 

“Again,” Levi pants, and this time Eren obeys without reluctance. 

He pulls harder this time. Levi shouts.

Eren comes.

“Fuck, _ Levi,_” Eren grits, but when the tension leaves him, it goes with a long, guttural moan. “Ah!”

The sparks are still rushing through his body when Eren comes. They multiply exponentially when Eren moans, and he’s right there, right on the edge, so close, so close… And then Eren swells inside him, ejaculating in powerful, throbbing bursts of what feels like unending rushes of semen, fucking it deeper and deeper inside him with every snap of his hips. Yep. That’ll do it. 

He screams Eren’s name and comes, bathing Eren’s already wet chest with his seed, his orgasm seeming just as endless as the one Eren had and is _still _having inside him. He’s still in the throes as well, but that doesn’t prevent him from thinking about how surprised he is at somehow having nearly as much as Eren. He didn’t know he had it in him, so to speak. Eren comes buckets, and both of them already came today, so how is this even possible? 

Levi doesn’t have time to be impressed for very long. His post-orgasmic exhaustion hits him like a brick wall, and he collapses onto Eren, both of them panting with the pleasant aftershocks that seem to go on forever. 

Eren tips them over, and they fall to the bed on their sides, still clinging to each other, still trembling, both working to catch their breath. They ride it out together quietly, exchanging joyful looks and chaste kisses until their bodies cool and their sweat chills their skin. Neither of them feels like getting up to fuck around with the coal stove or to run a bath, so Eren simply pulls the blanket up over them. 

“I love you,” Eren mumbles, snuggled up close to Levi and beginning to drift off, emitting a soft hum when Levi kisses the top of his head. 

“Love you too,” Levi mumbles back, just as sleepy and comfortable as Eren. Eren warmed him up nicely, and cuddling with him in bed is practically the same as hugging a heater. Great in the winter, not _quite _so much in the summer, but he loves it (and him) either way. “That was nice,” he adds, his eyes now shut, sleep fast approaching.

“Nice?” Eren snorts in some drowsy rendition of a laugh while nestling in impossibly closer to the man who hung the sun _and _moon for him. 

“Mm,” Levi hums in response, nowhere near awake enough for his brain to come up with any other response.

“Night, Levi.” Eren’s already mostly asleep, and as soon as the words leave his lips, it’s entirely.

Levi has one final thought in his last few seconds of consciousness.

_ I could get used to this. _

\---

“Ugh,” Levi groans while stretching his stiff body, becoming more and more aware of how gross and sticky he feels the more he wakes up. “I need a fucking shower.” Levi flops back down onto his pillow to rub the sleep from his eyes.

The diffused sunlight spilling through the window isn’t hot enough to melt the ice on the glass, only to bathe everything in the room in a warm, dreamy glow. It was bright enough to wake Levi, but it apparently didn’t have the same effect on Eren, as evidenced by the snoring in his ear.

Levi is tempted to get out of bed and shower by himself, but fuck that. Showers are way better (and way longer) with Eren, plus he doesn’t want to make Eren wake up all alone in bed. 

“Oi,” Levi grunts, nudging Eren with his elbow, turning his head to Eren with only one eye open to see if it woke him up. It didn’t, so he tries a different approach–he rolls his heavy body on top of him to kiss his sleeping beauty awake. It took a few, but the kisses eventually did the trick.

Levi hovers over Eren, propped up on his arms, thinking about how cute Eren is when his eyelids attempt to flutter open, but only do it by a sliver before they fall shut again. Levi pecks him a few more times on his lips and cheeks, and that gets Eren to do a much better job of opening his eyes. 

Eren stares confusedly up at Levi, eyes hazy and mind still too clouded to comprehend what he’s seeing. He hears a weird noise that he thinks he recognizes–Levi chuckling–and he blinks a dozen or so more times before it fully registers. Levi’s chuckle turns into a full-on laugh when Eren’s eyes, no longer blurred with sleep, snap wide open. “Huh? Levi?” Eren rasps, blinking away the last of the grogginess.

“_Shower,_” Levi repeats, more demanding than the first time. He’s starting to get impatient. Feeling like he’s coated in a film of titan spit is bad enough, but noticing how greasy and weird his ass feels is ten times worse. “Let’s _take _ one.”

“Sure,” Eren agrees, feeling a bit gross himself. Right as he’s about to tell Levi to get off him (and as his morning wood is about to tell Levi to get him off) so they can do that, he freezes. Levi doesn’t understand why Eren is looking at him like that or why he says,_ “uh oh.” _

“Uh oh? What do you mean by uh oh?” Despite the concern he feels–which is, admittedly, not that much–Levi can’t help laughing again. Eren’s just too fucking adorable.

“Shit,” Eren exclaims, suddenly exploding into action, forcefully pushing Levi off of him and stumbling out of bed, pulling the blanket off with him. “Be right back.”

Now it’s Levi’s turn to blink stupidly at Eren, who is running out of the room completely naked. Eren’s out the door in less than a second, and the sound of Eren’s bare feet slapping the cold floor as he dashes down the hall echoes in the cabin.

“Fucking weirdo,” Levi mutters to himself, shaking his head. Eren didn’t hear him say it, but Eren wouldn’t have minded if he did.

But then Eren’s footsteps stop, and the next thing that echoes down the hall and into the bedroom is a god-awful screech followed by a choice selection of curses, some Levi’s never heard before. _ Impressive_, Levi thinks, proud of Eren’s creative talent for cussing. He’s not so impressed by the next one; a mildly distressed _oh god_, which Levi rates as a 0 out of 10 for vulgarity but a 10 for impact.

Uh oh indeed.

  
  
  
  



	17. Author's Note: Chapter 16 Fanart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Eren,” Levi moans, stilling his hips and leaning forward with closed eyes to stroke Eren’s hair and nuzzle his nose, “Eren, let me put my arms around you.” Eren only nods, sharing Levi’s desire, but not understanding that they can’t embrace if he’s flat on his back. “Sit up,” he implores when Eren makes no effort to accommodate, so eager to feel all of Eren’s body around him that he can’t wait for Eren to figure it out on his own._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely honored to have been gifted this incredibly beautiful depiction of the events in chapter 16 by none other than [Heichous_Poncho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heichous_Poncho/) aka [@chibinico ](https://chibinico.tumblr.com/). It's the first fanart I've ever received, and that's very special on its own, but since it's from a great author and artist AND the person this fic is a gift for, it's even more of an honor!
> 
> Thank you so much, friend. I hope you enjoy the rest of what this story has in store for the boys. I can't thank you enough!


	18. Chapter 18

Levi begrudgingly shuffles his cold, numb feet down the hall, blanket trailing behind him like a train on a wedding dress. The bathroom door is open, and what he sees beyond it is Eren, naked as the day he was born, pulling his hair with both hands and staring at the pump on the wall. Nothing is coming out of it.

Eren drops his hands and spins around to face Levi when he hears him approach, grimacing sheepishly at the man who looks so fucking adorable scowling at him from within his blanket cocoon. The groggy, grumpy man doesn’t actually say anything to him, but his raised eyebrow sure did. Eren’s fingers fiddle nervously while he tries to smile at Levi, intending to convince Levi that there’s nothing to worry about with it, except he looks more like a wild dog baring its teeth, which has the opposite effect.

“Soooo,” Eren says, briefly glancing up at the ceiling, and he’s pleased to find that there are no cobwebs in the corners. Sadly, he finds that there’s no shower head in the room, either. He already knew that, but now he feels guilty because Levi said he wanted a shower. He clears his throat and looks back at Levi before continuing, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

Levi suddenly has a very bad feeling about this. Eren doesn’t volunteer any information, merely stands there with his dick out, looking like a cornered animal, face growing redder by the second. Levi deliberates for a moment, eventually deciding that he’d rather get the bad part out of the way first; metaphorically speaking, he has skin his knee before Eren can kiss it all better. Depending on how bad it is, it might have to be _literally._

“What’s the bad news?” Levi asks, remaining calm despite dreading the answer.

“Bad news is there’s no shower,” Eren answers with a smile that’s more of a grimace, bracing himself for whatever’s going to happen to him now that he’s told Levi he’s not going to get his shower. Except... he still hasn’t told him the worst of it yet, and that’s what really worries him. He wonders if Levi will cry when he tells him the news, or if…

Eren notices Levi eyeing the bathtub, looking like he’s about to tell him it’s fine. Might as well get it over with. “...and the pipes are frozen.”

Levi shuts his eyes and sighs, biting back his distress, choosing to focus on what the good news might be. Eren did say there was good news, right?

“And the good?”

“The good news is, uh,” Eren looks at his foot and takes another crack at smiling. “There’s plenty of snow?”

Though Eren’s smile isn’t as disturbing now–it’s kinda cute, all things considered–it’s the repentant way Eren delivered the “good” news that convinced Levi to cancel the one-man pity-party he was about to throw. Eren’s trying; it’s not his fault. Besides, it’s not that big of a deal. Eren’s right. They have plenty of snow. They also have plenty of firewood. So what if he’ll have to boil it to take a bird bath instead of having the hot shower followed by the luxurious soak in the tub with Eren he’d woken up dreaming about.

Who needs a hot bath when he has Eren? And, even better, has him all to himself in a farmhouse kilometers away from the nearest living thing… besides the farmer who (presumably still) owns it. Levi hopes that the farmer holds the same admiration for the Survey Corps’ captain that he did the first time they were here, and therefore won’t mind that they’ve broken into his house and fucked in his bed. And on his floor. And, depending on how long they’re staying and how long it takes him to notice the smoke coming from his chimney, probably the rest of the rooms, too.

Before answering, Levi closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reminding himself of all the effort Eren put into giving him this incredibly special gift. When he opens his eyes again and sees the little shit standing there stark-naked in the freezing-cold bathroom smiling (or something like it) at him, he forgets all about how horrible it’s going to be to hike through the snow to the latrine to wash his oily, come-filled ass with a bucket of water that’ll probably be frozen solid by the time he gets there.

“Here,” Levi says as he unwinds the blanket wrapped around him to drape it over Eren’s shivering body instead. It’s all warmed up for him, and Eren sighs once he’s enveloped in its warmth. He outright _groans_ in contentment when Levi further adds to the warmth by wrapping him in his arms inside the makeshift blanket tent. “You get back in bed and get yourself warm. I’ll go heat some water.”

Eren’s enjoying Levi’s body heat so much that Levi’s words barely register in his sleepy brain. But then they do.

“Wait, Levi, you can’t–”

Levi was ready for it.

“Shut your pretty face,” Levi jokingly threatens, ensuring Eren’s compliance by pinching his lips together into something resembling a duck’s beak. Eren tries to scowl, but he can’t with Levi squishing his mouth closed, so he settles for arguing by growling and furrowing his brow at him. “I already told you I’m not letting you do all the work, and I meant it. Now get your ass back in that bed and go back to sleep until I call you. Do I need to make it an order?” _I’ll go get Captain Levi if I have to._

Eren nods, and a weird garbled noise struggles to make it past his still-sealed lips. Levi pretends like he hadn’t noticed how much it resembled a _yes, sir._

“Now go.”

Levi realizes his mistake the instant he backs out of the blanket tent.

_Nope. Too fucking cold for that. Besides, we’re going to the same place anyway. I’m not setting foot outside this room without something covering my dick. Eren would be very disappointed if it froze off._

They both get to be warm (_mostly_—Levi’s feet loudly protest being left out) on the way back to the bedroom, as Levi decided that the easiest way to travel would be to hoist Eren onto his hips and carry him there. It was only happenstance that this position resulted in him having two generous handfuls of Eren’s ass. That didn’t change his mind about bathing.

Having Eren’s arms and legs wrapped tightly around him while he squirmed nonstop in an effort to rub their (_mostly—_at least at the start) flaccid dicks together almost did.

\---

Levi sets about lighting fires in everything in the cabin that was meant to house one while he listens to the frantic scuffling sounds coming from somewhere in the direction of the bedroom. His first thought is that the old farmhouse is infested with rats, which leads him to his second thought: to light another fire in the middle of the living room and burn the place to the ground. Rats are something he does not at all miss. He shakes away the impulse, remembering why he’s in this house and who fixed it up just for him.

He listens closely, the sounds becoming more distinct as he, with great trepidation due to his aversion to rodents, proceeds down the back hallway with wood and matches for the stove in the corner of the bedroom. It’s either one giant rat playing a battle march on pots and pans, or Eren’s up to something. When he reaches the bedroom, he realizes that the noise isn’t coming from there, as Eren is nowhere to be seen. Whatever it is Eren’s doing, he doesn’t want to find out until there's a fire lit in here.

As soon as the tinder catches and the embers come to life in the iron belly, Levi decides that Eren’s shenanigans are less compelling than tea. So, as he departs from the slowly warming bedroom, he steps out into the (still freezing) hallway at the very moment that Eren, now in his underwear, is hopping out of a closet he hadn’t realized was there. His ears ring as brooms and mops and other assorted noisy items clatter to the floor. Levi’s favorite noisy item almost goes down along with them.

“The fuck are you doing?” Levi questions, taking in the scene in front of him that would be entertaining if it wasn’t way too goddamn early. He hasn’t even had his tea yet, and already the day is off to a magnificent start.

Eren, having successfully avoided obliterating every bone in his face in the least cool way he’s ever done it, peers up to find Levi standing there with an almost blank expression. His arms are still out to his sides, pails still swinging by their handles and threatening to throw him off balance again, and Levi is staring at him, waiting for an answer. There’s the slightest hint of a twitch happening at the corner of Levi’s mouth now, having evidently decided that it really _is_ funny despite the early hour and dearth of tea. Eren flushes red when he sees it. _Oh god, how long has he been standing there? How much did he see? _

He comforts himself with the notion that maybe Levi just got there, that he came running to save him when he heard the noise. That’s exactly what happened. It was the fucking step-stool that started it. It attacked him first. _Kick its ass, Levi!_

Hoping to use some of Levi’s favorite household objects to get him to forget about what he may or may not have just witnessed, Eren holds up the pails, metal squeaking when he shakes them to draw Levi’s attention away from his bright red cheeks. “I found some more buckets!” Eren exclaims, bright-eyed and grinning nervously at his cranky boyfriend, who looks surprisingly unimpressed by the cleaning supplies he’s showing him.

“I can see that,” Levi replies, sounding almost as unimpressed as he looks. It’s the trace of suppressed laughter in his voice that ruins it for him.

“For water,” Eren explains because it doesn’t seem like Levi knows why he has them.

“That’s right, Eren. Good job,” Levi says, but his praise makes Eren frown instead of making him happy and/or horny like it usually does.

“For your _bath,_” Eren further explains, but he’s a little less proud of himself now that Levi has made it plain that he doesn’t care, so his voice comes out as more of a whimper, and he lowers his eyes and the twin tin pails at the same time. “I was gonna heat water to fill the bathtub with so you could have a real one.”

Oh.

Maybe Levi should have made tea first because his brain is as frozen as the pipes.

“Eren…?” His perfect, beautiful, wonderful, sweet partner’s name leaves Levi’s increasingly constricting throat as a hesitant question, soft and weighed down with guilt. It gets tighter when Eren looks at him with his head still hung low, only his big, disappointed eyes rising to meet his repentant grey ones. Levi swallows, stepping toward Eren, and he reaches to take the buckets out of his loose fingers, but Eren tightens them around the handles, and he looks at the floor again. “You’re too good to me, you know that?”

This time both his head _and_ his eyes raise when he looks at Levi. The joyful sparkle is returning to them, suggesting that his spirits have lifted as well. He was so excited about being able to give Levi the hot bath he deserves that it caught him off guard when Levi didn’t seem to share his excitement. He was so excited that he even forgot how much Levi loves fucking with him, and now he’s disappointed that he missed a chance to sass him back.

Levi watches the frown disappear, and it lifts his spirits, too. Not enough, though. He’ll only feel better when Eren does, and he knows just the thing that’ll fix his fuckup.

“It’s true. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Levi continues, and when he starts gently stroking the soft cheek that’s now returned to its normal color, Eren only looks like he’s frowning because his grin is all fucked up and crooked from biting his lip. _Now_ Levi is allowed to smile. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Eren says demurely, trying to hide how much Levi’s praise is getting to him. The problem with that is that it does nothing to hide what he’s really feeling, which is shy. Levi chuckles at him, and Eren hopes it’s because of how cute he looks.

“Only once or twice, huh? I’ll have to say it more often, then.” He means it, especially right now. Eren loves to sleep late whenever he gets the chance, but instead, he gets out of their nice, warm bed to go traipsing around the chilly farmhouse in his underpants to find water pails just so he can have a hot bath. Levi looks down at the one in Eren’s left hand and notices that there’s a hole rusted through the bottom of it. He tugs on the handle, and Eren lets him take it. He chuckles to himself because Eren doesn’t even realize there’s a hole in it, so he’ll make sure he never does.

\---

Eren is fully bundled up and heading to the door, all set to venture outside for the first load of snow.

“Are you sure you don’t want help with that?” Levi asks from the sofa, swaddled in blankets, waiting for the room to heat up while watching Eren pull on his boots. He’s a dick for hoping that Eren will say no, but he’s fucking freezing and doesn’t have that weird titan ability that makes Eren so warm all the time. He’ll make it up to him later.

“Positive. Besides, I’m only going right outside the door,” Eren answers, pails in hand.

“Not to be even more of an ungrateful asshole, but I hope you’re not planning on bringing in the stuff we walked all over,” Levi pauses as another worry surfaces, which he assumes Eren doesn’t need to be reminded of, but you never know. “And watch out for raccoon shit. No amount of boiling will make that bucket usable again.”

“You think I’d let you touch dirty water?” Eren scoffs as if he’s offended, which he isn’t–he’s internally laughing over how adorable Levi is. “It’s my sworn duty to make sure my captain gets nothing but the best.”

“That explains it,” Levi says.

“Explains what?”

“Why you’re dating me.”

“Wait... does... does that mean you think I’m the best?” Eren asks, and Levi refuses to answer, which is an answer in and of itself. Once Eren realizes that, his eyes light up, and a grin slowly develops on his face, and it stays there even though his lips are moving when he coos, “Aww, Levi, that was really sweet!” 

“Just go get the snow,” Levi mumbles as his head disappears under his blanket-hood.

“I love you, too. Okay, be right back,” Eren says, and when he departs, it’s with a shy little smile and cheeks that are already rosy.

\---

Levi concluded that he needed hot tea more than a bath. He sacrificed the first bucket of snow to warm himself from the inside via his favorite hot beverage and also give him something to do while watching Eren trudge back and forth between the bathroom and the frozen wasteland. It would be pointless to mop up the slushy footprints now, and no matter how much he’s itching to do it, he forces himself to wait until Eren is done to spare himself some work.

He’s getting a little antsy, though. Levi doesn’t know how many hours it’s been since he’s taken a piss, but his bladder informs him that he’s very late for his appointment with Mother Nature. He could put his boots and coat on and make the unpleasant trek to the outhouse, but he’s so cold that he half-considers just wetting his pants because it’ll make him warmer. Unfortunately, he’s so late for their appointment that Mother Nature has come looking for him, and she won’t stop pounding on the back door. He regrets eating so much soup.

Levi sighs in resignation and leaves his cozy nest to suit up for the harrowing journey, mentally preparing himself and coming to terms with the reality that he may not come back with his balls. At least he won’t have Eren’s come trying to escape his ass anymore. He shudders at the mental image of a semen-icicle dangling from _his_ soon-to-be frozen tundra.

Levi opens the door, only to find a shining angel standing right outside of it. _Huh_, Levi thinks, _must’ve been the wrong door. This is the one that goes to heaven._

“Oh, perfect, you’re already dressed!” Eren chirps with a pleased smile so broad that it crinkles the corners of his beautiful, glimmering eyes. Levi’s never seen him so cheerful about him _not_ being naked. “Go use the toilet. I’ll keep filling the tub.”

Odd, Levi thinks, but he was already on his way to do that, so he doesn’t say anything about how cold it is or how he needs to borrow one of those buckets for a few minutes. Mentally, he grumbles all the way to the outhouse.

\---

Levi freezes in place the same way he did the last time he opened this door.

The first thing that hits him is the temperature. He opened the door and felt _warm air _on his face. Even if Eren was in here first, there’s no way his titan piss is hot enough to heat a room. He does keep the toilet seat nice and warm in the winter, but still…

Whatever the cause of the unexpected warmth, he’s grateful for it, so he quickly enters and closes the door behind him–he doesn’t want to let all the warm air out. Levi hikes up his heavy winter coat and is preparing to drop trou when he discovers the source of the warmth–and why Eren took so long to return from that last trip outside for snow.

There’s a small brazier in the corner with rocks interspersed with a few smoldering coals. Levi stares, dumbfounded by this discovery, and then, as before, he has the same thought he did the last time he was in here. _I’m gonna fucking marry that boy. After I take a shit, though._

He was too amazed by the heater that he hadn’t noticed what else Eren had put in there. Bricks. Two of them, warm to the touch, one on each end of the brand-new bench that Eren constructed, by hand, _just for him._ But, no, that’s not all that’s on the bench that still smells of fresh lumber and not years’ worth of ripe piss. There’s a large kettle–full, he notes, and warm, too–and a basket containing several folded washcloths and a bar of soap. _Fuck. He actually is an angel. Or maybe even god himself, ’cause he sure as hell ain’t a goddess._

After he’d done his business–he can’t remember his ass ever feeling so clean in the absence of modern plumbing–there was still hot water left over. It was warm enough inside the little shack–he never dreamed he’d use the words cozy and outhouse in the same breath–that he could comfortably strip and wash up while he was in there. Even after his bird bath, there was still plenty of water, and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. But he's already perfectly clean. What more can he do with it? He's not going to drink it. Maybe he should just leave it because as nice as this surprise was, he really wants to get back to Eren and–oh. Now there's an idea.

_What the hell, why not? _Levi thinks, and a second later, his ass is in the air.

_\---_  
  


Levi doesn’t care about that hot bath anymore. Doesn’t need it, anyway–if he could see his own asshole, he’s sure it would be positively _gleaming_. The only thing he cares about right now is marching straight into that house, getting on his knees, sucking Eren so goddamn good he’ll be shooting blanks for a month, and swallowing every single drop.

When he gets back to the cabin, he opens the door to yet another surprise. It’s warmer inside, yes, but it also smells fucking incredible. Once he spots Eren in the kitchen making him breakfast–and hears him humming while doing it–Levi has a slight change of plans.

The sound of the door slamming startles Eren, and he instantly turns his head in its direction, about to ask Levi why he slammed it, but when he sees Levi marching toward him, his words get stuck in his throat. Levi looks furious.

Eren is damn-near shaking when Levi stops in front of him with that confusing and alarming scowl on his face, and he’s mustering up the courage to ask what’s wrong when Levi beats him to it.

“Bedroom,” Levi growls, not realizing that Eren was about to piss himself because of how threatening he looks and sounds.

“Huh? Bedr–mmph!” Eren’s eyes spring open in shock when Levi roughly grabs him by the front of his sweater and practically rams his tongue all the way down his throat while he was still talking. He has no fucking clue what he did to piss Levi off so much or why Levi is kissing him like he’s trying to eat his face. He made him breakfast, and there’s still food in the pantry; he doesn’t have to resort to cannibalism just yet.

When Levi shoves him away and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, he’s panting, and he still looks kinda angry. It makes no sense, and what Levi says next makes even less; he couldn’t obey the command even if he wanted to, which he’s just starting to realize he does.

“Jaeger, I said get your ass in that bedroom. Now.” That he’s preventing that from happening by pinning Eren against the counter is completely lost on him.

“But Levi! I–” Eren stammers once he finally gets an opening to speak, but Levi suddenly bites him on the neck, and instead of the other words he was going to say, a gasp is what comes out of his mouth, and his spatula falls to the floor. He gathers his wits enough to finish what he was saying, but not enough of those wits to comprehend that he’s getting something better than hot food. “I made us breakfast! It’s gonna–whaa–oof!” A hard shoulder to the gut knocks the wind out of him, and he gives up on trying to talk altogether.

Eren is momentarily confused about why he’s staring at the floor all of a sudden, why it looks like it’s moving, and why he feels like he’s bouncing.

It takes him a few more dizzy, disoriented seconds and a view of the mistletoe on the ceiling to realize that he’s technically followed his captain’s orders. 

He has no idea what kind of trouble he’s somehow gotten himself into, but he can’t wait to find out.


End file.
